Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I found a lump and DP left me

43 replies

Loomy · 22/02/2025 20:31

I went to GP yesterday who has referred for further tests.
DP helped me bring all my things home from his today and left. I’ve since blocked him. I’m so angry and disgusted in him.
He’s not been himself the last few weeks, probably an affair. He said we were “always arguing.” He was creating arguments clearly to leave. The lump just brought things to a head as I demanded to know if he wanted to still be with me and he replied I don’t know. That’s all I needed to hear to know it’s done.
6 and a half years of his shit to be treated like this.

OP posts:
dancingwhilstfacingthemusic · 22/02/2025 21:20

The majority of the lumps are not sinister, so fingers super crossed for you that it works out. Very recent experience of this myself with a partner who would show “yours” what a shadow of a man he is.

Looks like the trash took itself out. I’m sorry he’s shown you who he is and how pathetic that he can’t support you when you really need the help.

ButIToldYouSoooo · 22/02/2025 21:31

Well rid of him, OP
I hope it's nothing serious

Original poster
Loomy · 22/02/2025 21:38

Londontown12 · 22/02/2025 21:17

I have had 2 lumps first one seemed fix got 2 week fast track to breast clinic
when u get there dr looks at it
then u have mammogram
then ultrasound both times mine were fluid filled cysts and they just drained them it’s painless (my 1st lump no pain 2 nd lump painful )
its such a worry !!! Concentrate on looking after and being kind to yourself forget the man he isn’t worth your head space
All the best return with update x x x x

Thanks that’s really useful to know

OP posts:
em2001ily · 22/02/2025 21:47

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 22/02/2025 20:38

Trash took itself out.

Seriously, focus on yourself and your health. Don’t give that loser another thought.

100%. He's done her a huge favour.

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/02/2025 21:49

I have naturally lumpy boobs (as described by a consultant!) and had many scans, mammograms and biopsies. Not a single lump has been malignan, touch woodt, although fair warning if you a need a biopsy, it really doesnt hurt but the contraption they use makes quite a loud noise and may make you jump! I jumped a mile and felt a right fart!

From what you say, it really does sound like he was looking for an excuse to leave, when you didnt tell him to sling his hook after the rows you gave him an out with the "do you want to be with me". What a fucking arsehole.

Give yourself time to grieve, be kind and dont expect too much of yourself. Being let down so horribly can take a while to get over, and in the meantime lets hope he has a permanantly itchy anus.

MumCanIHaveASnackPlease · 22/02/2025 21:50

So horrible OP. I hope your tests come back fine and it’s nothing to worry about. I hope you are surrounded by others who love and care for you during what I’m sure will be a difficult wait for answers.

BrickBiscuit · 22/02/2025 21:59

Loomy · 22/02/2025 20:31

I went to GP yesterday who has referred for further tests.
DP helped me bring all my things home from his today and left. I’ve since blocked him. I’m so angry and disgusted in him.
He’s not been himself the last few weeks, probably an affair. He said we were “always arguing.” He was creating arguments clearly to leave. The lump just brought things to a head as I demanded to know if he wanted to still be with me and he replied I don’t know. That’s all I needed to hear to know it’s done.
6 and a half years of his shit to be treated like this.

Maybe mention it to your care team. They will not be surprised (they may even ask first). It’s a thing. They will be used to it.

Gettoachiro · 22/02/2025 22:01

You are much better off without him.

PandaTime · 22/02/2025 22:26

This is a blessing really. You don't want to be with someone who is only with you out of pity/responsibility while messing around behind your back.

Endofyear · 22/02/2025 22:27

Sounds like you are much better off without him my lovely. If he's not there for you when the chips are down, that tells you all you need to know about him. I hope that you will get good news after the tests - remember it's much more likely to be a cyst or infection. Get some support from your family or close friends and look after yourself 💐

MedusaAndHerFavourites · 22/02/2025 22:29

I'm so so sorry. However, you're better off without his bullshit.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 22/02/2025 22:42

Hi OP, there are many, many things this lump could be apart from cancer. Try not to worry too much. Hugs xxx

At least your P has shown you who he is.

Also, if it IS cancer, breast cancer is highly treatable with an extremely high survival rate. I have had such worries in the past - all of them large cysts - and I thought, "Well, if it is cancer, I'll just deal with it the way that millions and millions of women have done before me."

The trash took itself out! Onward and upward!

Sassybooklover · 22/02/2025 22:43

Well he's revealed his true colours. Yes, I am sure you are correct, he was creating arguments, to give him the excuse to leave. You've done the right thing, told him where he could shove his friendship and blocked him. Concentrate on your health. Sadly, with some men, when life gets tough, they bail. Many years ago, I contracted bacterial meningitis and septicemia, and was given a 30% chance of survival. Whilst I was laying in a hospital bed, in ICU fighting for my life, my then partner was busy banging another woman. It's about as low, as a person can go, towards another person. Sending you a big hug ❤️

BlondiePortz · 22/02/2025 22:46

So you have put up with bad behaviour for years so isn't it good he is gone?

Londontown12 · 22/02/2025 22:52

Loomy · 22/02/2025 21:38

Thanks that’s really useful to know

Show quote history

That’s ok sometimes not knowing what happens is scary so thought I’d break it down for you , that was my experience ! X

Original poster
Loomy · 23/02/2025 14:30

Sassybooklover · 22/02/2025 22:43

Well he's revealed his true colours. Yes, I am sure you are correct, he was creating arguments, to give him the excuse to leave. You've done the right thing, told him where he could shove his friendship and blocked him. Concentrate on your health. Sadly, with some men, when life gets tough, they bail. Many years ago, I contracted bacterial meningitis and septicemia, and was given a 30% chance of survival. Whilst I was laying in a hospital bed, in ICU fighting for my life, my then partner was busy banging another woman. It's about as low, as a person can go, towards another person. Sending you a big hug ❤️

Gosh I’m so sorry he did that to you how utterly vile he was. Glad you got through it and saw what he was really like

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 23/02/2025 14:34

I hope you have some friends that can help you with support and that it's something benign.

((((Loomy))))

Original poster
Loomy · 23/02/2025 14:37

Thanks so much for the messages.
Theres no one in RL I can talk to, it’s just DC and my DF, we lost my mum to cancer last year so he would lose his head with this so I won’t worry him until I know what’s what. I’m ok. Being a single parent has gotten me used to doing everything on my own and I’m ok with that.
MN has got me through some rough patches over the years that’s for sure. I’m pretty certain this is just a scare but I will be glad to know for sure.
Ex has left me alone which I’m glad about. Makes it easier this way. I’m just channeling my disgust and anger at him to ensure no moments of weakness.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread