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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to Scotland for work?

98 replies

ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:24

I have a job I love, I am manager level but don't manage a team (thank heaven)

I have a line manager who delegates a lot of work to me, which I am mostly fine with, but I have noticed lately that a lot of high responsibility level tasks are being completed by me.

The latest request is for me to travel to Scotland and undergo some training that I will then roll out to my manager's direct reports.

I don't want to do this as it's an environment that may not be particularly friendly as the Scottish office were an acquisition that wasn't welcomed by the employees in situ. I have Scottish parents and grew up in Edinburgh so I have nothing against the Scottish people, I just think they will not be welcoming me due to circumstances.

AIBU to refuse to go?

OP posts:
JimHalpertsWife · 22/02/2025 12:26

Yabu. It's presumptive of you to already expect that whoever has agreed to deliver training will be somewhat unwelcoming or hostile to you, rather than just act professionally.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 22/02/2025 12:27

Yeh yabu and you're missing the chance to deliver training which would look good on your year end review I presume?

Original poster
ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:28

Maybe so, I just feel like an interloper from head office after an unwelcome takeover

OP posts:
Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 22/02/2025 12:30

What’s the real reason you don’t want to go OP? That’s a pretty far fetched excuse and if I was your manager would be less than impressed

Original poster
ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:31

I don't want to go for fear of being shunned

OP posts:
JimHalpertsWife · 22/02/2025 12:32

ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:31

I don't want to go for fear of being shunned

You're assuming whoever is going to be training you would be unprofessional. That's really unfair on them.

HoppityBun · 22/02/2025 12:32

JimHalpertsWife · 22/02/2025 12:26

Yabu. It's presumptive of you to already expect that whoever has agreed to deliver training will be somewhat unwelcoming or hostile to you, rather than just act professionally.

It’s reasonably presumptive, that’s what the post is about, but I don’t think it’s presumptuous. I should go and make the most of it, if I were you, OP. Go and make it clear you’re ready to listen and open minded. Can you make contact before you go m with those who work there?

NDHz · 22/02/2025 12:32

Weird post.

So it’s not actually got anything at all to do with Scotland.

The issue is that you don’t want to go to the office of an acquisition. Combined with you not liking having more responsibility through your boss delegating.

Hoppinggreen · 22/02/2025 12:33

ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:31

I don't want to go for fear of being shunned

Oh come on OP
Get your big girl pants on, be professional and go.

Original poster
ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:34

I mentioned Scotland because there is sometimes a divide between English and Scottish.

I feel like this is the responsibility of my line manager, who also doesn't want to go in case it turns out to be hostile.

Maybe I am being unfair I'm just trying to get other people's perspective as I'm aware mine may be faulty

OP posts:
Quinlan · 22/02/2025 12:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JimHalpertsWife · 22/02/2025 12:37

ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:34

I mentioned Scotland because there is sometimes a divide between English and Scottish.

I feel like this is the responsibility of my line manager, who also doesn't want to go in case it turns out to be hostile.

Maybe I am being unfair I'm just trying to get other people's perspective as I'm aware mine may be faulty

Oh honestly, stop it. You're embarrassing yourself. "A divide between the Scottish and the English" its not bloody Roman times.

Just go do the training you are being asked to do, and whilst you are there, show some respect to the person training you.

Original poster
ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:37

Maybe I am being xenophobic that had not occurred to me. I just remember the hostility between rival factions at Murrayfield

OP posts:
Genevieva · 22/02/2025 12:37

You’d be a fool. Put your big girl pants on and go. It’s something to add to your CV do that you can be promoted into your boss’s job one day.

wholettheturnipsburn · 22/02/2025 12:37

This is comedy gold

Original poster
ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:38

Ironically I welcome the brutal comments. I am actually seeking clarity and not validation so thank you all for your candour

OP posts:
wholettheturnipsburn · 22/02/2025 12:38

ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:37

Maybe I am being xenophobic that had not occurred to me. I just remember the hostility between rival factions at Murrayfield

I've never seen hostility at Murrayfield. you do know that rugby fans are generally friendly to each other

JimHalpertsWife · 22/02/2025 12:39

"Rival factions" makes it sound like the Bloods and the Crips and the KKK

Original poster
ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:39

@wholettheturnipsburn that's not my recollection but then I was only 12 years old last time I went

OP posts:
Quinlan · 22/02/2025 12:39

ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:37

Maybe I am being xenophobic that had not occurred to me. I just remember the hostility between rival factions at Murrayfield

What? Rugby is one of the few male dominated sports which doesn’t have that nonsenses. Fans all sit together and there isn’t the football yob nonsense. There are obviously isolated incidents, but Scottish fans do not have some massive thing against English fans. Grow up.

There is usually an undertone on mumsnet that England is the UK and everyone else is less than, or that we are less civilised or you’re just better. At least you’re being totally honest about your xenophobia… but maybe just pack it in?

Original poster
ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:40

@JimHalpertsWife probably not the Kkk but maybe montagues and capulets

OP posts:
NDHz · 22/02/2025 12:40

ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:37

Maybe I am being xenophobic that had not occurred to me. I just remember the hostility between rival factions at Murrayfield

I … don’t even know how to respond to this 😂

Rival factions? Do you mean rugby teams?

Original poster
ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:41

@Quinlan pack it in is exactly what my boss's boss said to me when I told him I didn't want to go as it's above my pay grade

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 22/02/2025 12:42

ohyesido · 22/02/2025 12:37

Maybe I am being xenophobic that had not occurred to me. I just remember the hostility between rival factions at Murrayfield

Maybe don't go to a footie match wearing a union jack while you are there then

Quinlan · 22/02/2025 12:42

People in Scotland are just as capable of being professional as you are. They are also just as capable of doing their job. You will get some stick if you go into the office saying stuff you have said here, because it is insulting.

Honestly OP, I really think the only person causing any strife will be you, not them. Just go and do your job, treat people with respect and be professional. Stop acting like Scottish people are thugs. We are not.