This is a long one. And I am changing some details to make it less identifiable.
I preface this with my dad passing away when I was young.
Unfortunately I have a very up and down relationship with the rest of my family- that as I get older and I have gone through extensive therapy - have realised that large parts of my relationship with my family is dysfunctional at best and abusive at worst. For example I'm the butt of criticism and cruel jokes. I'm the only one in my family to get a degree and have a professional job. This has been mocked by my family. Lots of very unkind things have been said to me over the years that are "jokes" or been in response to me standing up for my self.
I have received insults , character assassinations and them being incredibly angry towards me. To the point that over the years I've distanced my self and kept them very at arms length.
My family live closely. They don't have many people other than each other. I have a lot of friends and a wide support network other than family. I also moved very far away to be away . ( Other side of the country )
I'm lucky to have the people I do.
Forward to my wedding it's next month, and my family have been the issue the whole way.
Comments about the venue.
Comments about my figure .
Asking me to buy their outfits/pay for their treatment and hair / give roles to children/ hand invites to people I have no relationship with Ie my siblings spouse of the month that they are no longer with.
I asked my mum to come to a final fitting in some semblance of trying to make some positive memories and my mum commented that she could see my poochy tummy and bits . Everyone else stared at her and said I looked lovely. It's been an issue that ive taken bridesmaids to things over them.
The final straw is my mum saying she may not attend the wedding as she may be too unwell but she doesn't know. If she can come she'll get her partner to drive to the church to watch through the car window if she can manage it.
My sibling having an unhinged rant when I placed a boundary about my child that has very little to do with them which resulted in demanding I hand them money for the wedding dress purchased by my dad's money which was stipulated for that purpose.
My sibling have stated they won't attend the wedding or sten parties multiple times and left wattsapp groups demanding money for accomodation that had been pre paid when ever I have said no to requests for random people to be invited or for me to purchase them something.
All I wanted was a normal supportive family that would cheer me on but it's been miserable and I dont know if I even want them their.
But I constantly doubt my self and think that I must be at fault for them to treat me like this.
Sorry about the essay. I'm feeling really vulnerable. What should I do ?