About DD and birthday party?

[toastandtwo]

DD11 is going to her friend’s party this weekend. The party is escape room, back to friend’s house, sleepover. She can’t make the sleepover because she has a full day of swim meet starting early on Sunday and she’s ok with that.

Where I’m not sure if I’m BU is the escape room. It conflicts with her other sport (trampolining) which is a sport we only agreed to her doing because she begged and pleaded - she already has a huge amount of time swim training and already misses a lot of trampolining because of swimming. So if I work out how much we are paying per session, it doesn’t look good 😆 Plus we’ve done an escape room as a family and she wasn’t really that keen on it so it’s not like it’s a favourite activity.

I’ve said I’ll take her straight from trampolining to the friend’s house and she can stay there til late in the evening but she thinks this is VU.

So am I being too strict or is it reasonable for her to miss both ends of the party but still get about 6 hours with her friends?

If it’s this weekend presumably you’ve already committed to the parents of the birthday child that your child will be there. It’s really poor form to pull out now I’d say cos those things cost money per head…. What would you say ‘oh two days before the party we’ve decided my child needs to go to her regular trampolining instead of your child’s party that you’ve paid a lot of money and planning into. Sorry I’m so disorganised I didn’t think of this til the day before and now you can’t invite someone else to fill the spit without it looking crap for you’ 🤨

Let her go to the party if she wants to go. Socialising is also really important. I say this as another swim mum with a similar age dd

Sorry just read you last post and see the circumstances were different. If you haven’t committed then no problem I’d say. As a mum of a swimmer thinks say more down time to allow child time for friendships. Although it’s hard when swim coaches try to take over all your free time for sure.

She either attends the party or she doesn’t. Popping in for a bit, sandwiched between other more important engagements is very poor behaviour.
It wouldn’t be too surprising if she gets uninvited by the friend if she tries this.

There are doubtless other friends she can invite who’d be happy with the full itinerary.

Maybe the escape rooms is something she would enjoy more, because she'd be doing it with her friends.

Respectfully, I don’t think you’ve read my posts. Mum of party girl is very happy for DD to just go for the middle bit as I explained from the get go that would be all she could manage and if it was inconvenient then I completely understood and she didn’t have to go.

Party girl would I’m sure prefer DD to be there the entire time as they’re friends, but either you’ve never had an 11 year old or they moved in very different circles to mine as there’s just no way any of the girls would be falling out or removing invites over something like this. They’re all hugely supportive of each other’s sporting and musical commitments outside school.