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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for thinking this would be ok?

81 replies

Okbug77 · 19/02/2025 14:25

Looking for opinions and some advice on what others would do or think in this situation please, it’s eating me up and I just need to know if I’m reading it totally wrong or just majorly overthinking the whole thing!

I’ve been going to the same nail salon for over 4 years now, every 3 weeks consistently to a girl that is self employed there. I would consider myself a regular client and we have shared every detail of our lives with each other, celebrated the ups and downs over the years - new houses, babies etc. I bring her gifts, lunches, coffees, she has met my kids, we are “friends” on social media and someone I would consider as a friend even if we don’t see each other as such outwith appointments. I had to cancel my appointment before Christmas due to illness and we were all dropping like flies. I gave more than a few days notice and cancelled well within the time limit, she said she didn’t have another appointment for me and wouldn’t be able to fit me in for a couple of months and asked if I’d still like to book in with her given the fact she wouldn’t be able to fit me in until then. Christmas is a busy time of year I understood that and I’m always respectful of her time so I accepted the next available appointment and asked if she could contact me if she happened to have any cancellations before then. She knew I had a special occasion coming up and was celebrating a big birthday but she never got in touch which I thought was odd. I booked in with another salon so I could have my nails done as I was also going on holiday and it left enough time that I had a chance to remove them before my next appointment with her. So 10 weeks rolls around and I go to the appointment, the vibes felt off immediately but I put it down to the fact that it was late in the day and that maybe she was tired and had a long day. We sat in silence for most of it usually we have great conversations and have quite a bit to catch up on and fill each other in on what’s been going on between my appointments but it just felt awkward 😕

At the end of the appointment when it came to pay she said she has stopped using her card machine now and she will only be accepting cash or bank transfer. I usually pay by bank transfer anyway but I recently changed banks after trouble with my current one and I still had to set up some of her details to transfer the payment over on my new account. My new card had just arrived the day of the appointment and I didn’t have time to confirm the details of the new card on my internet banking app to do it yet and that I would do it right away when I got back to my car - that was literally parked right across the street from the salon. Her next client was there waiting already so I thought I was saving her time and this is where it all went wrong…She refused to let me leave the salon without paying and went on to give an example of how once she did someone’s nails and she had to chase them for payment and that it was unacceptable, at this point I offered to go to the cash machine along the street and I could even leave my car keys with her until I came back but again she refused and said in no way would I be able to rebook unless I paid. So mortified at what was happening in front of another client, I sat down in the waiting area to set the details up and she said she would just wait and make her run late until I’d done it and huffed and puffed while she sat over me. To make matters worse, the app kept crashing but she kept saying how she knew I was connected to the WiFi so it shouldn’t be a problem. It eventually worked thank god 😳the payment went through and I left, I was so embarrassed. I like to think I’m a person of reason so I’ve thought maybe I need to see it from her perspective and that I wouldn’t be able to go into a shop and leave without paying but maybe I’m too trusting I don’t know, I wouldn’t have had a problem if the roles were reversed? It’s just wild to me that she wouldn’t trust that I’d pay her when I’ve never given her any cause for concern regarding payment before and we’ve known each other for years or AIBU here?

She usually sends me an email with my next appointment I had to message her a week after my appointment asking if she had the next one booked in for me and I got the confirmation shortly after but it wasn’t for my usual service. She knows I can’t do that day or time and I always book in for extra nail art but she said that’s all she had and to let her know if I can’t make it. So I said I couldn’t and there was another time available which she has booked me in for but again not the correct service but she said she wouldn’t have time. I’m feeling like she is just being awkward and that she is maybe trying to sack me as a client?! I have no idea how to go about this I feel like our next meeting is going to be really awkward now. Someone tell me if I’m missing something here or how you see it?

OP posts:
CuteEasterBunny · 19/02/2025 14:28

I wouldn’t care to find out. Take your money elsewhere.

rach7979 · 19/02/2025 14:29

Go elsewhere, and don't give rent to it in your head

OnYerselfHen · 19/02/2025 14:29

I wouldn't want to hang around to find out what her problem is. I'd find another salon and not look back. It's a shame though as clearly she didn't value the friendship you thought you had.

SpotlessLeopard · 19/02/2025 14:31

Find another salon and remove her from your social media.

Dotto · 19/02/2025 14:32

She's got the hump, rightly or wrongly.

She wasn't unreasonable to insist on payment, however, but I would prefer to find another tech with more people skills and professionalism, if I was you. Have you paid in advance now?

Also it was your choice to buy her things and bring your kids in. It wouldn't give you extra leeway.

custardpyjamas · 19/02/2025 14:33

You've upset her somehow, just forget it and go somewhere else, too much drama for getting your nails done.

Redscrunchie · 19/02/2025 14:33

She wasn't a friend - she was being nice to you to keep your custom. She sounds nasty, cancelling an appointment is par for the course in her profession and she has handled it really unprofessionally.

Go somewhere else OP.

Neurotoxic · 19/02/2025 14:34

You don't have time for other people's internal drama.
Find someone else. I myself bought a lamp and do my own nails now haha.

CuteEasterBunny · 19/02/2025 14:35

If I was her other client I wouldn’t come back either.

I never support salons that treat their clients badly and it would have been awkward listening to her behave like she did.

WaltzingWaters · 19/02/2025 14:37

Blimey, sounds like a lot of really unnecessary stress. Just find another nail salon and delete her from your social media. Then don’t worry about it anymore.

FetchezLaVache · 19/02/2025 14:38

That's a funny way for a self-employed nail tech to treat long-standing customers! I agree with PPs, she clearly didn't see your friendship in quite the same light you do, which is a shame but not the end of the world. Was the other salon you went to just as good as her?

Okbug77 · 19/02/2025 14:41

Dotto · 19/02/2025 14:32

She's got the hump, rightly or wrongly.

She wasn't unreasonable to insist on payment, however, but I would prefer to find another tech with more people skills and professionalism, if I was you. Have you paid in advance now?

Also it was your choice to buy her things and bring your kids in. It wouldn't give you extra leeway.

I pay at the end of the service so no payment has been taken for the next one yet and it’s not until the end of next week so I still have time to cancel. I didn’t think it would give me any extra leverage just because I bought them anything or they’d met my kids, in my mind that’s a friendship and she always asked me to take my kids in to see her so I genuinely thought we had one

OP posts:
Dotto · 19/02/2025 14:43

Okbug77 · 19/02/2025 14:41

I pay at the end of the service so no payment has been taken for the next one yet and it’s not until the end of next week so I still have time to cancel. I didn’t think it would give me any extra leverage just because I bought them anything or they’d met my kids, in my mind that’s a friendship and she always asked me to take my kids in to see her so I genuinely thought we had one

I do feel for you.. Yes I would just cancel and draw a line under it. You wouldn't deliberately pay for any service to feel awkward any other time, if you had a choice, and you don't owe her anything. It's her own fault.

RoastDinnerSmellsNice · 19/02/2025 14:44

How disappointing for you OP! It does sound like she got the hump because you had to cancel at Christmas, which is incredibly unprofessional, as so many people go down with flu, colds and viruses at that time of year. As everyone else has suggested, dump her and don't give her a second thought, she really isn't worth it.

Dancingatthepinkponyclub · 19/02/2025 14:45

Wow she sounds horrible! I’d have to message her asking what’s changed and then move salons!

Okbug77 · 19/02/2025 14:51

CuteEasterBunny · 19/02/2025 14:35

If I was her other client I wouldn’t come back either.

I never support salons that treat their clients badly and it would have been awkward listening to her behave like she did.

I was mortified in front of the other client, I just kept apologising to her. It was horrible, I keep replaying the situation over in my head and I know I shouldn’t feel so upset but I always looked forward to my appointment but I don’t know if I can go back after that. I keep thinking that she was probably bad mouthing me to that next client and it’s just always going to feel off now

OP posts:
McGregor33 · 19/02/2025 14:52

Would she rather you potentially making her unwell at Christmas?

I wouldn’t message her nor give her an explanation for no longer booking in with her. She has handled the whole situation terribly. I personally wouldn’t have attempted to book again after that performance. My nail/lash techs I’ve used for approx 7 years, if I’ve ever struggled for a signal to bank transfer they trust that I will transfer as soon as I get signal. Never have they made a massive show like that, I could understand if it was your first appointment and yous didn’t develop a ‘friendship’.

Okbug77 · 19/02/2025 14:55

FetchezLaVache · 19/02/2025 14:38

That's a funny way for a self-employed nail tech to treat long-standing customers! I agree with PPs, she clearly didn't see your friendship in quite the same light you do, which is a shame but not the end of the world. Was the other salon you went to just as good as her?

Funnily enough she bad mouthed the other salons and nail techs in the area, including the other nail tech that is based in the same salon as her which should’ve set alarm bells ringing but my experience was good at the other salon and I told her that so maybe I shouldn’t have said anything and I offended her

OP posts:
Cattery · 19/02/2025 14:59

Bin it off. Not worth the hassle

AngelicKaty · 19/02/2025 15:00

Okbug77 · 19/02/2025 14:55

Funnily enough she bad mouthed the other salons and nail techs in the area, including the other nail tech that is based in the same salon as her which should’ve set alarm bells ringing but my experience was good at the other salon and I told her that so maybe I shouldn’t have said anything and I offended her

YANBU OP. I wouldn't be upset with her, I'd be furious! Four years of loyal custom, always paying on time, buying her gifts, only cancelling before Christmas to spare passing on a virus to her (haven't we all become more conscious/considerate of that since Covid?) and she treats you like this? I would never rebook with her again (I had a similar experience - nowhere near as bad as yours - with a hairdresser I'd been going to for years - she's never seen my face or my money since and likely doesn't understand why. 😂) Take your business elsewhere OP.

Lightsoy · 19/02/2025 15:00

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ThriveIn2025 · 19/02/2025 15:02

I’d also cancel the next appointment. I had a regular beauty treatment and got to know the lady really well. When she moved I sent her a message saying how great she was and how much I’d miss her and she never replied or acknowledged it 🫣 I felt so embarrassed. The ‘friendship’ obviously meant more to me than her!

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 19/02/2025 15:02

She’s not your friend, just someone you are or have been friendly with.
I am sure if you cancelled in good time over Christmas she would have filled your appointment.
The palaver over the payment was really, really awful. Yes, some clients bog off and don’t pay but you’d offered to get cash and she said no. Making you sit there and berate you is unprofessional.
Your cash, your power. Having your hair and nails done etc are supposed to be about a bit of pamper time that you pay for. You are not paying to be humiliated and shouted at.
Go somewhere else and perhaps this time be pleasantly polite, but keep your friendships in the real world.

Loafbeginsat60 · 19/02/2025 15:05

I would be gutted if my nail tech did that to me! Especially after so long and I definitely wouldn't go back ever again!

Frostynoman · 19/02/2025 15:08

Either cut your losses or call her on it.

Tell her that isn’t acceptable or mature to have the hump with you for cancelling when unwell with good notice and to still be acting out about it in February (or ever!) If you are sure that she knows your schedule (and remembers it..) then tell her that she knows your regular service and ask if you are to take her deliberate booking of a different service on times and days when you can’t do as that she doesn’t want your custom.

Or, just leave. She’s acted absolutely terribly. She isn’t in Gloucestershire by any chance is she…?