Just been sacked for the first time ever after a funeral

[PrueD]

On Monday I was at a funeral and yesterday I was off on compassionate leave. When I returned today the director sacked me. Been there 9 months.

Before now, I hadn’t been made aware of any issues in my one to ones, the last one being a week and a half ago. I had told my manager a month ago about my terminally ill relative. It was harder to work at my usual capacity at this time but I was still doing a good job on important projects. The main problem I had was they kept piling on more work on top of existing work.

I said I would’ve liked the chance to address any issues and they said they don’t have capacity to support and that’s it. I’m in shock, having an awful week as it is.

Decide what? I have no idea what you're talking about if you don't quote my post.

So in terms of your CV

say that this was a nine month contract, that you needed something that was shorter term and well paying while you looked after your Nan. If you are able to, contact your old manager on mat leave and ask if she will be a reference.

if it is your old company then they will not care about references, it wont be a step back, be clear you want development opportunities. While grieving your energy will be low for a while, so maybe the familiarity of the old company and the ability to do work that you know well might suit.

I once had a manager I hated, my work was fine, he would have given a good reference, but I just did not want to ask him. I gave the details of other people I worked with and it was fine.

Speak to ACAS. Long time since I was an employer but I always went with verbal warning, second verbal warning, written warning, then termination.

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time at the moment. It was really shitty of your employer to do that. I know you're in shock right now, but please do not miss the opportunity to apply for the role advertised at your previous employer.

It would be a shame to miss out on that. Don't think of it as going backwards, sometimes it's better to work in a pleasant environment, with people you like, than at a firm you've just had to leave.

Am really surprised they don't have to follow a disciplinary investigation and share feedback with you before dismissing you. I'm a manager and have some who has conducted significant gross misconduct (really bad stuff) and it needs to go through a whole process of suspension while she's investigated, and then a disciplinary committee where she'll be able to provide her say. She's been with us 18 months too so not eligible for an unfair dismissal claim and we still have to do it.

I kinda assumed that all companies in the UK did this, but I guess not?

What you've done would not even warrant a formal performance review if i hadn't given you an opportunity to be informally managed with feedback!

Really sorry this has happened but does sound like they just wanted to get rid of you for cost cutting rather than real performance concerns.

I think that was what hurt me the most.

I'm so sorry they have done this to you. I know it seems pretty impossible right now, but personally I took that grief and used it to pursue better things. It took a few months on JSA but I did eventually get a much better job where I feel my efforts are properly rewarded. That was coming up on 10 years ago now!

Support is one of the shittest words at work at the moment imo. It’s better to have found out now that this is a shit employer than in a few years. Do they have glassdoor reviews?

Yes, they are on glassdoor.

If asked in future you could say that you successfully delivered on a project in an x month timeframe and then they let you go, historically they had also done the same with other employees.

I'd absolutely try to swallow my pride and approach allies from my old company.
Be truthful about what happened but without moaning or being bitter.
You might not get offered or want to take a job there, but you never know what other opportunities your old colleagues and their network might know about.

I'm so sorry, OP, it sounds as if they've treated you in a really shitty way.

This is no help to you now, but the new Employment Rights Bill going through Parliament will provide protection against unfair dismissal from day one in a new job. It also includes a right to (unpaid) bereavement leave.

Thank you everyone who has replied so far.

Usually when sad I’d cuddle my cat but she died 6 months ago. Another loss. Feels endless this past year.

As you've only been there a short while, you could leave it off your CV. You could say you took time off to care for a sick relative (your gran).

A few years down the line you can. But any new job now will want a P45 - plus people talk.

My current job (which does require a lot of security checks) asked for the last few years of HMRC records.

I'd be honest about it, say you'd completed the project, last in, first out. No one is going to question people getting laid off in the current climate.

And definitely talk to your old company- ask of they know of any other roles.

Bless you OP - I do really feel for you.

I would try to use a different phrase other than "sacked". Not just when talking to others, but in your own mind too.

You KNOW they're being unreasonable in getting rid of you and the word "sacked" comes with connotations of you having done something wrong.

How about saying "they let me go". When talking to your family, I'd specifically say "They decided X days off for a significant bereavement was too much for them so they let me go - good riddance I reckon!".

I too would approach former colleagues and tell them similar. "Following taking a short break following a recent bereavement, my new employer took the decision to let me go. I'm therefore back in the market for a new job, so if you're aware of anything that comes up, either inside or outside [former employer's name], please do let me know."

You could even chuck in something about your previous manager may have had a point about not staying at your new employer long and perhaps he knew what they were like before you did.

A colleague and friend got in touch. She thought I’d resigned as they stated I left them in a company wide message.

I think the wording is interesting because when they let go of another woman 6 months ago they stated plainly they let her go as it wasn’t working out.

another colleague sent a job he knows needs filling in the industry. At least I met some good people.

You should not get a 'good' reference; or a bad one. Just a factual one. Employers can write what they see fit in a reference, provided they can clearly back it up with facts.

You could ask the employer to write a reference which includes details of your achievements and projects you have worked on; you could even offer to write the statement yourself? Just dates of employment without stating the reason for leaving.....is there a sympathetic manager who would agree to issue this for you?

I note that they have skirted around any specific reasons for ending your employment, and you mention that there is no evidence of performance issues. So they may be on really dodgy ground if they ever referred to poor performance in a reference, or (as you mentioned you feared) suggested this to a third party - that could well be slanderous.

I am very sorry for your loss and that you are having such a horrible time. Take care of yourself, I am sure things will improve for you and you will find something much better. Unfortunately many people (myself included) are put through such experiences with dodgy low-integrity employers like this one, so do not be ashamed. I always think of the friend of my DH who kept the pompous dismissal letter from his first employer; he got it framed and displayed it on his toilet door. Needless to say he has long moved on to better things.

It’s not a reflection on you.

It’s a reflection of a toxic and unprofessional workplace, that’s quite clear.

It may feel like your world is crashing down around you, but I promise things will get better.

Take a bit of time to grieve your Nan. Apply for UC. Try not to stress or worry too much. And definitely do not dwell on this “sacking”.

Then when you feel up for it, remember who you are and start applying for new roles.

You don’t have to tell anyone at interview ‘why’ you left or were let go. You don’t have to put them as a reference. This will NOT look bad on you.

@HolyPeaches thank you. I’ve been in turmoil all day.

I was looking forward to going back to work after the bereavement to focus my energies now I don’t have that. I feel so sad.

My partner who is a lawyer (but not in employment rights) thinks there could be a claim to be made as it is illegal to fire during compassionate leave. Technically they fired me the morning after it ended so doubt I’ll have grounds. Think I’ll phone ACAS anyway, someone to talk to aside from anything else.

I woke up feeling angry this morning. I noticed their attitude change when my gran died a month ago. In addition to the projects I was already handling well, they kept trying to shovel more on my plate.

I had a conversation about this with the interim manager who then took things back off my plate. But I think she’s had a hand in this because she micromanaged from day one. I think if my gran hadn’t died I’d still have a job. But I’m human and not a cog.

@PrueD You're right to feel angry OP. It was people that did this - WTF is wrong with them? Do they have so little imagination that they couldn't envisage being in your shoes and how they would feel if they were grieving and other people treated them this way? It's like they're missing the empathy gene!

Yes you have the right to be angry, but as you worked there less than 2 years they can let you go for any reason they like as long as it is not discrimination.

They didn't fire you for going on compassionate leave, they fired you because they felt you weren't up to scratch at the time.

If your partner is a lawyer, then they'll know how few unfair dismissal cases actually win. By all means phone ACAS, but what are you actually hoping to get from this?! An apology? Your job back?

Have you updated your CV? Have you applied for other jobs yet?

My advice is just to put this behind you and move on. It's their loss and another company's gain.

The irony is that they'd probably be the type of people to expect everyone to drop everything and come running to their aid when they suffer a bereavement.

They're just arseholes and I repeat what I said earlier - you're better off away from them OP.

@DazedDragon you say they didn’t fire me for going on compassionate leave but it is linked.

i believe they fired me due to bereavement. I had a conversation with them 1.5 weeks ago stating current workload was fine but more being piled on top wasn’t. At this point they said don’t worry and removed the additional pile but I think my card was marked.

But at no time was I told my work was bad quality or not up to scratch. I don’t think it should be legal to fire without a procedure.

Anyway your previous advice was good, so thank you for that.

I haven’t updated anything. The reality of being fired and a funeral (where I also did the eulogy) in the same week has sunk in. I’m only just managing to eat, but I’m making myself leave the house to see a friend tomorrow. That’s something.

Have a think, is the new company in direct competition with your old company? Could they have lured you away with a salary increase to stop you doing a good job for your old employer? I hope you find a new job, where you are more appreciated.

It really does suck, but with less than 2 years performance there is nothing you can do.

An engineering company I worked for was restructured whilst I was on maternity. I applied for a team lead position and awaited an interview. They allocated the 4 team lead positions without even considering my application. They interviewed every other candidate. They basically forgot about my application because I was on maternity. I flagged this up and I got this bullshit story about considering me for another position. I then got an interview for this "other" team lead position and was then told I didn't get it. That position never did exist...

Some companies are just crap. Put it behind you and look forward. Their loss and another company's gain.