It's a long one.....: 😳

[Marsh40]

So I've posted on here a while back about issues I'm having but thought I'd re do an updated version as I couldn't find my old post!

So since September 2024 (a few weeks of being with new partner) I started getting UTI's which was something I've never struggled with in the past.
Well these symptoms continued and still continue now! :( I've done numerous urine tests/samples some of which come back with an infection (e-coli) and some clear.
I've also passed blood in urine a few times (especially after sex)
I've had numerous blood tests taken
a few hospital visits
I've had severe lower back pain (mainly left sided) since November 2024

Tests I've had so far:
Bladder Scan- clear
ultrasound scan - clear
CT scan- clear (kidneys etc all clear)
mri on pelvis - clear but since has been re checked and Cyst found inside lower back. (Waiting on another MRI of back for this)

I'm just noticing that I'm having issues everytime I've had sex with my partner!!
We've both had clear STI tests (infact I've been tested twice nuts to make sure)

i also noticed that if he ejaculated in me I am in agony! It's like I'm allergic to his cum! Is this even a thing??

sorry for the essay but hoping somone has some insight! 🙏
its effecting everything I do, want to do and now me physically and mentally :(

xx

When you say bladder scan, do you mean a flexible cystoscope where they put a camera up into the bladder?

and yes it’s possible to be allergic to his ejaculate- have you tried condoms?

How old are you?
Is there a chance this could be linked to perimenopause.
The drop in hormones cause the tissues to thin and become less elastic internally. The increased friction then causes microtears in the urethra which can become damaged during sex and more susceptible to infections.

If this is the case, time to discuss HRT.

Hi, yes a flexi into the bladder 😳 very uncomfortable 🥴

Condoms will be the way forward from now on.
I just wondered if this is a thing... also could I be allergic even if he doesn't cum inside me? I know guys have pre cum? Just never had these issues with any other partner before so just linking things up I guess!

I've recently turned 40!
I have wondered this and mentioned to doctors but they brushed it off and said not!
How would they test for this? I've had numerous bloods taken.

would some of my issues link to this would you say? X

Frequent uti sufferer here too :( I have been with the same partner for 22 years and I have similar problems. My utis are usually triggered by intercourse, they tend to come in clusters so there’ll be six months of one a month then nothing for 6 months etc
are you doing all the usual stuff? Cotton underwear/peeing after sex. My partner has started showering before bed too (also showers in the morning) and I think it’s made a difference, I think our chemicals just don’t interact well :/

I got loads of UTIs the last two years from sex. Married, and we're both clear of all stis!

In short, vaginal estrogen pessaries and jumping in the shower immediately after sex - not even a cuddle first 😂 - and I've not had another in a year.

This began when I was 41. This year I'm on HRT as well for perimenopause.

I had a partner that would cause me problems every time we had sex. All STI checks came back clear each time.

In the end I broke off the relationship and my problems never came back.

I was 30 if it makes any difference - I know perimenopause has been mentioned but these things can happen without that being the cause.

Has anyone ever mentioned interstitial cystitis?

I've read a few times now about people finding there bodies juts don't click with certain people! I'm dreading this to be the case as I know there's Noway I can handle this forver!😩

yes I've had interstitial cystitis mentioned before but nothing they give me helps in anyway!
I honestly feel like I'm going around in circles to be honest!
Did you ever bleed after sex 'blood in urine'?

Thank you for your reply :)

I think I may mention to my doctor about these Vaginal estrogen pessaries in hope this may help 🙏
A few people have mentioned Perimenopause also but surely doctors should have picked up on this?

I just want to be fixed and back to me again 🙏

Xx

I'm starting to worry that it's my partner and like you've said our chemicals just don't mix! :(

yes to showering after sex and washing down!
He's also banned from 💦 in me!!🤣

I've never suffered with these things before meeting him and now for the past 6 months I have had constant daily uti symptoms and reoccurring UTI's every month x2/3x a month!!!
Give a girl a break. 😩😩
Did you ever have blood in your urine with this?
it feels like the pain is in my Ureathra constantly.

Thank you for the reply xx

A few people have mentioned Perimenopause also but surely doctors should have picked up on this?

Gp's IMO are often less knowledgeable than a woman who has spent a day on the internet researching peri menopause.

Did you know the training for Gp's on menopause, something around half the population will face, is about one day out of 7 years medical training. It's ridiculous.

Unless you have a GP who is particularly interested in the subject, they know little more than anyone else.

I'd def ask for the vaginal pessaries. They made a huge difference to a friend of mine who thought she was having UTI symptoms - it was actually the vaginal atrophy that meant the thinner walls meant she felt more of the pressure in her urethra. She was only 44-45.

Hey, thank you for your reply and info.
This was my exact thoughts on thinking surely the doctors would have mentioned/looked into Perimenopause. But I have had quite a few people mention this now that I think I may bring this up again with them when I go in this afternoon but I do feel like it will be brushed away as I mentioned this at the very start back in September 2024.
But it's 100% worth a second shot! 🙏
I think I will mention these pressures.

Thank you again :) x

No, a GP won't prompt you on perimenopause for single symptoms. In the last year my symptoms have ramped up and I begged for help.

Remember that no blood test will show you in perimenopause, but they may do that to exclude other things.

I went armed with a list of symptoms and asked for HRT. I'm only 5 weeks into it and have a 3 month review booked in.

Yes I found this out this afternoon when I mentioned 'perimenopause' she pretty much shut it down instantly saying at my age she doubts it!!
I'm early 40's.

i've had so many blood tests done so be Sep 2024 😳

I don't know where to go with it all now to be honest.
Am currently waiting on gynaecology appointment and also MRI on my back.
hoping I will be back to normal asap' 🙏

But all these replies help and make me feel a little less stressed knowing I'm not the only one having these kind of issues. 🫶

xx

I didn’t have blood in my urine but I had a lot of UTIs and constant recurrent BV!!

I would get treated and they would be back the next time I had sex with him. One nurse suggested it could be from being too wet during sex. He wouldn’t cum in me but nothing made a difference.
I would pee straight away, I switched to showers only, loose clothes and no tight jeans etc but nothing would stop the problems from happening. He was also very clean so no issues with hygiene.

Have you had a little break from having sex to see if it clears up?

I used to suffer from UTI occasionally when I was in my 20's, mainly from enthusiastic sex (numerous times!). I had a UTI in 2020, that I didn't pick up on quick enough and it turned into a kidney infection (bloody horrendous, the pain is awful). After that I started getting them more regularly, and after speaking to the nurse, she told me that as a woman starts approaching the perimenopause, into the perimenopause, the risk of reoccurring UTI's is common. Yay! I thought, something else to bloody well deal with!! 🙄 I use a vaginal hormone pessary, which helps. I make sure I drink plenty straight after sex, pee and wash after sex. Only one round of sex, and also make sure I have at least a day in between having sex and drink plenty of water the next day too!! Basically, it's my age! In 2020 when I had my first UTI for over 20 years, I was 45.

its so annoying just not being able to say 'that's the issue' and then being able to sort it!

I've tried all the things that you've said also.
I said to him the other day that we need to avoid sex at all costs for a while and see what happens! If it all stops then my answer is there... but then what do i do!!🥺 xx

Thank you for all this... I think I'm going to keep trying these precautions like you've said!
yes bloody typical something to look forward to with the perimenopause! I was curious as to what age women can start perimenopause as the doctor just snubbed the idea saying I was too young!
i'm in my early 40's

xx

There's an episode on Private Practice, season 2 i think? That has a story line of the woman being allergic to the man's sperms although she presented differently with symptoms. It's absolutely a thing but no idea if this is causing your issue as I'm not medically trained

I get UTIs after sex, particularly if it's more vigorous. I take an antibiotic after sex (just 1 tablet) it seems to help.

I've had this 16 years since I met my husband never had an issue previously

Ohhhh no! Im not sure I can cope with this all the time!😳
I wonder why this happens? X

People always say when he’s having sex with other people that this is the main symptom but I don’t think my partner was.

Ask the GP to prescribe estriol cream. Game-changer x

Just to jump on and say my friend has just turned 40 and they’ve established she’s probably been in perimenopause for the last 18 months at least. It can and does happen so maybe push back with the doctors to investigate more if this seems a likely cause?

Sorry, sorry, sorry but it's sperm, C** is 🤮