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AIBU?

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Original poster

Parents who are just too protective.

80 replies

SleepToad · 18/02/2025 20:06

Following on from the unpaid nanny thread where the step mum left an 11 year old for 10 minutes and then later cooked a meal with her. I walked past the local comprehensive school today. It's half term and the artificial sports pitch is being used for all day long coaching sessions. kids about 10 years old. There were 2 parents sat in their cars watching the training...they were spending their day overseeing the coaching of their kids in a group situation of about 30 kids and 4 coaches. If they don't believe their kids to be safe why send them?

It is also very noticeable how much less traffic there is on the road...kids not being driven to the comprehensive.

Am I being unreasonable to worry that we will have a generation of adults unable to do anything alone, unable to evaluate risk, even to cross the road because their parents are not allowing them the chance to indulge in some independent life of their own?

OP posts:
UninterestingFirstPost · 18/02/2025 20:08

Are you sure that’s why they were watching the training? Perhaps they live too far away to return home and were listening to an audiobook while looking out the window

sprigatito · 18/02/2025 20:09

Do you actually know why they were there? Did you ask them? You sound really nosy and judgmental.

YoungGunsHavingSomeFunCrazyLadiesKeepEmOnTheRun · 18/02/2025 20:10

I watch one of my dds sports because its a pain to get home and back again.

Another of my dds has serious health conditions and I encourage her to live her life as much as possible but I have to be nearby at all times (until we get the right meds) in case she has a fit.

There's a million reasons why they could be there.

Original poster
SleepToad · 18/02/2025 20:10

sprigatito · 18/02/2025 20:09

Do you actually know why they were there? Did you ask them? You sound really nosy and judgmental.

Maybe the deck chairs were a give away?

OP posts:
VikingLady · 18/02/2025 20:11

Two parents, 30 odd kids. Stats would suggest that at least a handful of those kids have SEN or other support needs abc could likely only access that event if their parents were near. I certainly know mine could.

Get over it, stop being so judgemental and offensive about other people's parenting when you have no idea about their lives.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/02/2025 20:12

UninterestingFirstPost · 18/02/2025 20:08

Are you sure that’s why they were watching the training? Perhaps they live too far away to return home and were listening to an audiobook while looking out the window

This. I used to watch DD's sports. Didn't want to and I trust the coaches (except for the creepy gymnastics one) but it was too far.

Jesusisking23 · 18/02/2025 20:12

Maybe they actually wanted to watch…….

MixedBananas · 18/02/2025 20:14

My DM used to take my DB to training and sit and wait as it was too far to go back home and then come right back. So dont assume it is over protectiveness.

I am a 80s baby but Inhave cousins who were born 2001 - 2009 and they are as you described. Parents did everything for them.
While I did everything alone. I organised my work experince, I worked from age 15 and applied for my own jobs did my own CV etc. My cousins in the other hand ate scared to step out the door and speak to an adult. They never worked until they finished university and as peoppe they lack depth. They were wrapped in bubble wrap and conversations are shallow. They have no personality and no sparkle to them. Rather sad. I had a full childhood learning and experincing things for myself. Whereas they watched others do things and sat behind a screen all day.

UndermyShoeJoe · 18/02/2025 20:22

When my children went to their old school it was a 40 minute each way trip. Certainly wouldn’t be going home for a one hour training.

Littlebrownfreckle · 18/02/2025 20:24

I always watch my kids’ sports. I really enjoy it. They’re having fun and it’s nice to see them happy.

menopausalfart · 18/02/2025 20:25

I'm a Gen Xer and my DM was extremely overprotective. I wasn't allowed on school trips, swimming, sleepovers, etc.
I went off the rails at 15 and left home at 18.
I don't think waiting for your child to finish their sporting activity is overprotective in the slightest. As others have said, they may have to travel quite far or might enjoy having time away from the home, even if it is just sat in a car.

Scarlettpixie · 18/02/2025 20:26

SleepToad · 18/02/2025 20:10

Maybe the deck chairs were a give away?

Show quote history

You said in your OP they were sat in their cars?

if there were only 2 parents but 30 kids, it’s not that widespread is it?

ProfessorTiddles · 18/02/2025 20:34

I sit in the car when dd has sports practice as no one can talk to me. Not supervisinf any coaching. Just enjoying the peace and quiet.

Completelyjo · 18/02/2025 20:36

There are a whole host of reasons they might be in the car and “overseeing the training” because they don’t trust the coach is probably right at the bottom.

The tone of this post is pretty nasty and unnecessary.

Completelyjo · 18/02/2025 20:39

SleepToad · 18/02/2025 20:10

Maybe the deck chairs were a give away?

Show quote history

There were 2 parents sat in their cars watching the training...they were spending their day overseeing the coaching of their kids

Deck chairs while they sat in their cars?

Do you even have kids? Watching sports training is a fairly normal parental activity.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 18/02/2025 20:39

I used to 'oversee' my dc's martial arts lessons, because it wasn't worth me going home and coming back again. Did you not even think of that, OP? It's a very obvious reason. You sound very snarky and judgmental.

JandamiHash · 18/02/2025 20:41

My kids participate in sports at county level and it means they often train or play at venues miles from home. It’s not worth going home as id have to set off again from the moment I got back, so I sit with a book in my car.

There’s definitely over protective parents but these people aren’t them!

CarpetKnees · 18/02/2025 20:42

sprigatito · 18/02/2025 20:09

Do you actually know why they were there? Did you ask them? You sound really nosy and judgmental.

Have to agree with this.

Also unclear where the deckchairs comment came from.

As others have suggested, there could be 101 reasons why a parent might stay near a training session.

ARichtGoodDram · 18/02/2025 20:42

Me being around is the only way my DD is allowed to participate in any activities. Sports coaches, brownie leaders and the likes don't have the medical training needed for her condition (and nor do I expect them to!)

It's also common for parents to stay and watch round here as folks travel from the other villages and it wouldn't be long enough to go home and come back.

Don't see many folks in deck chairs in their cars right enough, can see why that caught your attention...

Simonjt · 18/02/2025 20:44

SleepToad · 18/02/2025 20:10

Maybe the deck chairs were a give away?

Show quote history

They were sat on deck chairs inside their cars?

Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen · 18/02/2025 20:44

Someone I know is like this. Two lovely well behaved girls (no SEN or dietary needs) There was a school day trip arranged to a lovely location. Perfectly safe, no obvious reasons for any concern. She went along too and spent the whole day following her children who were in the school group but never at any point letting her kids or anyone from the school know that she was there. At the end of the trip, she drove home and they went on the coach.

Then of course that evening she was asking them all about their day out. Shes like that about everything to do with her girls.

JandamiHash · 18/02/2025 20:45

Simonjt · 18/02/2025 20:44

They were sat on deck chairs inside their cars?

Show quote history

Doesn’t sound very comfy

Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen · 18/02/2025 20:46

Also - it was a 90 minute drive away!

JandamiHash · 18/02/2025 20:46

CarpetKnees · 18/02/2025 20:42

Have to agree with this.

Also unclear where the deckchairs comment came from.

As others have suggested, there could be 101 reasons why a parent might stay near a training session.

Show quote history

Yep including “My kid has asked me to watch them”.

MellersSmellers · 18/02/2025 20:48

A more interesting line of discussion is whether over protective parenting (health issues aside) causes developmental issues - social anxiety, lack of resilience, poor self confidence etc.
My feeling is Yes....