Parents who are just too protective.

[SleepToad]

Following on from the unpaid nanny thread where the step mum left an 11 year old for 10 minutes and then later cooked a meal with her. I walked past the local comprehensive school today. It's half term and the artificial sports pitch is being used for all day long coaching sessions. kids about 10 years old. There were 2 parents sat in their cars watching the training...they were spending their day overseeing the coaching of their kids in a group situation of about 30 kids and 4 coaches. If they don't believe their kids to be safe why send them?

It is also very noticeable how much less traffic there is on the road...kids not being driven to the comprehensive.

Am I being unreasonable to worry that we will have a generation of adults unable to do anything alone, unable to evaluate risk, even to cross the road because their parents are not allowing them the chance to indulge in some independent life of their own?

Depends what kind of coaching it was. My kids do sports and some of the other parents are just obsessed tiger parents, timing each lap the kids run, checking the coaching is up to scratch, etc etc.

Ooooh nasty little person.

Observant and curious isn’t the same as nosy. OP is being observant and curious.

I personally find it very odd that you were watching these poor people in their cars, all day.

They possibly thought - 'there's an odd creepy person milling about staring in cars. I think I'll just sit here til they're gone'.

3 or 4 hours later you r still there looking at them, milling around, looking at their kids again etc.. so these poor parents have to keep hanging around to ensure the safety of their kids while a weirdo is lurking around....

I'd be careful OP, one of these parents might call the police if you keeping lurking and watching them and their children...

Find another hobby

Why would people be sitting on deck chairs in February? When they could be in their cars keeping warm.

All v strange if you ask me.

Weird. (The thread, not the parents. Although they are also weird if they’re putting deck chairs out in February. Especially if those deck chairs are on top of their car.)

Because it’s made up? 🤣

YANBU

The deck chairs comment was a joke? That’s how I read it?!

if it’s an all day sports session for primary school aged kids then yes YANBU - why would parents stay for a holiday sport camp style activity. Weirdos! It’s holiday childcare!

If it’s a hours training session run by the local club with parents doing the coaching (eg most local football/rugby clubs are ran like this for kids) then YABU. I trust my DS coaches, but they are parents who volunteer and yes, while they have done DBS checks/coaching courses, I’m still responsible for my child. It’s not childcare! Stay and help with the goals/clearing up/drinks/oranges etc

Yes you are right. Driving kids everywhere . They have no idea of the harm they are causing.

OP Whilst I agree with you that a lot of parents are too protective today to the detriment of their child, I don’t think the example you have given in your post is an example of this.

For the vast majority of parents, even ones that live nearby, it is much much easier to stay and watch your child’s 1 hour activity than it is to go home and make a round trip. You’d be leaving the house as soon as you got in! Most parents sort of half-watch the activity and answer emails at the same time, read, run through a shopping list in their head, listen to an audiobook, use it as a social activity to interact with other parents or they might even just want to genuinely watch as they enjoy seeing their child gain confidence, become competent at a skill and socialise. Being overprotective or not trusting the coach would be bottom of my list of reasons I would assume a parent is watching their child’s activity for.

I have a camping chair in the back of my car at all times. It's not odd. I use it when I'm watching my son's football matches on a Saturday & Sunday morning.

I also use it two days a week when I take him to training.

They aren’t an hour, they’re all day long. It’s right there in the 3rd sentence of the OP.

I agree with your point about learning to cross a road by themselves. A friend recently was furious her husband allowed their (extremely sensible and trustworthy) daughter to cross a road to pop to a local shop with a friend whilst at her house on a play date (the hosting Mum checked, he okayed it). I would 100% trust this girl & that road, didn’t really get it. I’m almost 40, but was allowed to go to local shops with my younger brother & cousins on a Saturday, confidently crossing many side streets and a much busier main road using a pedestrian crossing from age 7 up with zero issues. It’s important to build confidence and independence for sure.

But how does she know these parents are there all day (or in fact that they’re parents) unless she’s standing watching them?

I disagree OP.

Comparing my childhood with that of my DS, I used to walk, catch a train and then walk some more to get to school. My DS travels twenty miles to his school. On Mondays and Fridays he walks three miles home in the dark from the bus.

I had a job at 13, he does not but only because the rules are now much tighter.

He is calm, confident, capable and able to cook a meal, manage his money, organise travel etc. He is far less stressed than I was and got much better GCSE results. He will take his A'levels and go to university when he is ready. I don't have any concerns so far.

Usually it's to either see how the kids are doing, so they can feel slightly involved and chat to them about it after. Or a social opportunity as it wasn't just one parent alone.
Or an anxious child, maybe someone on the team has been bullying them or they weren't sure about going so the parent said they'd stay incase they wanted to leave.
Or behavioural issues so they want to be there if the kid starts playing up or runs off if upset etc.
I'd much rather a parent who isn't sure about their child's behaviour stays than the coach having to be distracted contacting and waiting for the parent to arrive.

I don't know any teens who are driven everywhere?
Most walk to school unless it's too far, then some are driven or some take the bus when its too far to walk. The only teen I know who is driven routinely to school who could walk in 20 minutes is driven due to being reluctant to go to school (potential additional needs, struggles academically) but even she walks home.

Do you know what? I’m a fairly overprotective parent and I am sick to DEATH of being judged/questioned about it. My eldest is 11. A really young 11. No, I don’t want her wandering the streets/walking home on her own/going to the park in a dodgy area. Stop fucking putting pressure on me to allow it just because you want your child to have someone to walk with. That’s not my problem. I’ll let her go when I determine that she is ready for it.

You parent your child. And I will parent mine.

She doesn’t. But I wasn’t commenting on whether the parents stay an hour or whether OP knows how long they’re there. I was pointing out that blackbird77’s argument that the kids are only there an hour so it’s not worth the parents going home is not relevant to this discussion.

Overprotectiveness is an issue but watching your kids do sports isn't it - sometimes you just want to watch because its nice to see how they are doing, see how they've progressed etc.

We often have to hang around while our son plays football. It depends on the set up of the group/training and distance. All day would seem like a big ask but unless you were there all day how would you know anyone else was?

While I do not think the reason the parents are waiting is to make sure they were ok. The U.K. has become very unsafe for kids and teens in the urban cities. Knife crime and gangs. County lines and trafficking. Most parents would like to know where and who the children are with. Collect them personally and wait for a lesson if practical.

Does it last all day though?

@SleepToad
So they were 'sat in their cars' on deck chairs?

@SleepToad

Next to the car. In the car park. .while the area is very green. We are one of many commuter towns for Bristol...so I doubt if any kid has come more than 2 miles.
So although your OP states they were sitting in their cars you are now saying they were sitting next to their cars on deckchairs. In the UK? In January?

Yeah. None of this happened did it OP.

Anyone staying for whatever reason would 100% sit in their car. To what end would they bother sitting in their freezing cold in a deck chair right next to their cars in a car park^^
😶