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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is anyone else just stuck in debt and fed up?

235 replies

Catsarekings123 · 18/02/2025 14:55

I am actually owed a refund of £1500 from something which will be wonderful, but it's just a waiting game and could be another 2 months yet, however I know I will be getting it.

I'm not the worst with money but I'm not the best either. Every month before my wage comes in I calculate everything that's going out that month, and what ill have left.

I live alone. To give a rundown:
Mortgage- £440, boiler cover- £31.50, gas- £35, electric- £35, water not yet been billed as moved in last few months, ongoing orthodontic treatment- £54, petplan and insurance- £43, phone contract and handset- £32, gym- £14, YouTube/netflix- £22, wifi- £24, £300 on clearing debt atm across x2 credit cards and one loan.
Student loan- £30, then it's food, public transport etc.

I know i could cancel the gym but it's working out at around £3.50 a week and benefits me hugely. I don't have any Sky or anything like that and only have netflix so watch a lot of films etc on it.

If anyone sees any areas I could cut back on I'd be willing to take suggestions..I paid £300 alone on my credit card this month but then had an unexpected £190 repair bill.
It's living alone with a mortgage which is stressful as you have to plan for these unexpected emergencies.

I don't get expensive clothes, make up, hair etc. Everything is as cheap as I can make it.
I'm changing jobs next week and will be on 28k base salary and have got an evening job which will be £300 extra a month.
I don't drive, mainly use public transport but occasionally take an Uber, as waiting outside in blistering wind and rain is depressing a lot of the time.
I don't buy expensive food either, do what I can in terms of cheap or free hobbies. Used to do a dance class but now I just do one on YouTube. Will restart running once it warms up next week.

OP posts:
liverpoolgal82 · 19/02/2025 12:08

The money you pay for the boiler- could you put that money away into another account every month until you get to £1,000 or £1,500 then you know it’s there if you ever do need a new boiler and there’ll be a little extra there for a service every year. Then when you’ve reached your target that then becomes spare money a month. Same with pet insurance , though I appreciate that’ll take a much longer time to get a cushion large enough for emergencies. But if you saved up until you had £2,000 perhaps then that’d be enough for a one night emergency surgery (we had this - cost £1,700 to pick him up the next morning) but obviously isn’t going to cover if any ongoing long term medical conditions.

napody · 19/02/2025 12:09

Haven't rtft but just want to check whether you are time travelling from the 1990s- your mortgage, gas, electric, CT, gym are all unbelievably low!

Catsarekings123 · 19/02/2025 12:10

That's a good idea re the tutoring. I'm lucky that my bills are very low, but the flat is tiny.

OP posts:
Catsarekings123 · 19/02/2025 12:11

And I bought it for just over 70k.

OP posts:
GreenElfWitch · 19/02/2025 12:11

I think you need to re-visit you tutoring T&Cs around cancellations - why should you miss out?

Catsarekings123 · 19/02/2025 12:11

Gym is low as it's during off peak hours only.

OP posts:
Completelyjo · 19/02/2025 12:13

On a 2k income you’ve still got over 1k of available money even after your mortgage, bills and debt.
It should be enough to feed one person, I haven’t seen you mention any child items on your budget?
It really depends on how much your debt it and where it has come from.

liverpoolgal82 · 19/02/2025 12:14

I always had to pay for any tutoring , piano lessons etc if I was to cancel the children’s lessons last minute. You shouldn’t be out of pocket because of a last minute cancellation. Can you not get them to pay say four lessons in advance or a monthly invoice paid in advance like swim clubs do and piano tutors do then you’re not out of pocket because of a cancellation.

Catsarekings123 · 19/02/2025 12:16

Agree I need to rethink the tutoring. I can't keep being out of pocket because of this.

OP posts:
iamnotalemon · 19/02/2025 12:22

It sounds like you're doing everything you can. It is tough. I'm not in debt now but I was and I also had two jobs and it was miserable! I used to scour moneysavingexpert for offers and freebies to bring a bit of joy to my life.

What are the APRs like on your debt? Could they be moved to 0%? How long will you be paying them off? Can you sell anything on vinted?

Diningtableornot · 19/02/2025 12:23

You might knock something off your phone bill by keeping your old phone and going SIM only rather than accepting upgrades (if that is what you're doing).
I've never had boiler cover just paid for annual services and occasional repairs, adding up to around £100 per year.
Great idea to forgo the wifi if it's not brilliant but of course you would probably need more phone data.

When you get a bit more income, paying off your credit card bill and not building it up again would save a lot of money. TBH I suspect that's why you're finding money tight. If you can save up for things rather than getting them on credit, life is cheaper.

BountifulPantry · 19/02/2025 12:25

Catsarekings123 · 19/02/2025 11:57

Thank you for all suggestions. I don't drink alcohol, coffee or smoke. Don't have live TV or pay for a licence so netflix is the only thing I have.
I do evening tutoring but it's not always reliable, someone's just cancelled last minute so that's £40 gone.

I have luckily just been offered a bank care home role which I can do the odd weekend and holiday, it will be more reliable than tutoring.

Brilliant idea re the care home role!

Fencehedge · 19/02/2025 12:25

Sometimes I've been pleasantly surprised at the lump sum I was offered to pay to end a phone contract early. Always less than I think because you don't have to pay the VAT and some other elements.

You keep the phone and can get quite a lot of data for £5 a month via Lebara or GiffGaff

TicklishMintDuck · 19/02/2025 12:28

Catsarekings123 · 18/02/2025 15:01

It depends how much you earn? My mortgage is that much because my flat is the size of a shoebox and needs work doing.

Exactly! It depends on where you live and what you earn. I have the same mortgage and outgoings as you, living in a flat in the north with a cat! Imagine not being able to have a TV and a cat! 🐱 Sorry, I have no tips to save money as I’m in the same situation!

Eggsandavocado · 19/02/2025 12:34

CharSiu · 18/02/2025 15:03

I have never had boiler cover, I understand replacing a boiler is expensive but I just pay 55 per year for a service. I think in the past they were a lot less reliable.

I do not have pet insurance, I personally would never put an animal through an extensive course of treatment when they have no comprehension of what’s going on.

The orthodontic treatment will end, how many more months is this expected to go on for? How long before the debt is paid off because that is obviously your main problem.

Pet insurance can mean life or death for a pet, it doesn’t always mean extensive treatment, an emergency out of hours visit is around £350, add a simple out of hours operation you could be looking at 3-10K depending on the pet. I would never like to chose between money or my pets life

moderndilemma · 19/02/2025 12:36

I think you need to get a really good understanding of your finances, doubly important before your move in with your boyfriend.

Your take home pay should be about £2K per month, and your commitments, including an estimated £30 for water, and £300 towards your credit card every month, add up to £1,300. Potentially leaving you with £700 for food, transport and other personal costs.

When I was struggling to manage my money, I set up different bank accounts for different purposes. So as soon as my salary came in I transferred the money for bills to a different account (in your case that would be c£1,300K) and had all the bills paid by direct debit / standing order.

Next I set up a savings account and as soon as my salary came in I transferred £100 per month into savings. It might not seem a lot, but for me it was an important mindset, that I saved before I spent. I also knew that I was gradually building up money to cover unexpected costs / breakdowns.

From the rest, which should be about £600, I suggest you keep a meticulous note of exactly what you are spending that on - every single item, every single day. You say £40 per week on food, but what about the big expensive items like washing powder, cleaning products, sanitary products, moisturiser, birthday cards, wrapping paper...? The ocassional take away pizza, or the £5 contribution to a colleague's leaving present - include them all. And all your transport costs too. Even if you don't buy expensive clothes or have expensive salon treatments, you still need new shoes sometimes, and will need the ocassional haircut.

I worked it out over a 6 month period and there were all kinds of little, but mostly unavoidable, costs in there. I also found out where I had 'bad' spending habits - for me it was buying things from Amazon (things like shampoo or presents) and not factoring them into my overall spend. The £600 per month that you have for food etc, will fluctuate, some months are more expensive than others, that's why it's difficult to manage, and why you need to understand everything you buy weekly, monthy or quarterly.

I also kept a really close eye on the 'bills' account to make sure that my estimates were correct.

I can't tell you how good it made me feel to really be on top of all my spending and to understand where all of it was going. It didn't make me richer but it did make me feel less like things were out of my control.

If your credit card / loan is £1,500 then paying £300 each month could see that paid off in about 6 months too. Then you could put your refund money directly into savings. Wouldn't that make you feel good? If you pay that off, you could then put another £200 or so into your savings account.

I think it is particulalry important to work this all out now. When you move in with your boyfriend (or will he move in with you?) you need to know that your finances are fair right from the start. No point in you thinking you put £40 per week towards food if in really all the other personal and household items add up to twice that. It could be tempting to think that one rent or mortage means you save the rest, but who saves it? You or him? And will you save it or spend it?

Do you know what your boyfriend's approach to money is? Is he a saver or a spender, and does he have debt. All very unromantic, but essential. I think.

ServantsGonnaServe · 19/02/2025 12:41

I'd bin the boiler insurance and proactively save the money instead. You might get unlucky and have it go next month but you most likely only need it to last a few years to "win".

Are you meeting any mandatory terms of your bpiler cover, like an annual service? If not then it may be wasted money anyway.

Do you have the cheapest possible debt I.e. are you on a 0% interest credit card or have you/can you consolidate into a loan if cheaper?

MercurialButton · 19/02/2025 12:41

Sharptonguedwoman · 19/02/2025 12:05

Poor cat. What a miserable thought.

Miserable is right, but many pets are re-homed for financial reasons.

People sorting finances may need to make tough decisions including rehoming a pet, or buying pet cheaper food, no new accessories.

It can cost £1-2,000 to have a pet cat, food, insurance, care, etc . That’s her additional income from tutoring. It’s either a luxury …. Or a necessity. if it’s a luxury, she can re-home.

maximalistmaximus · 19/02/2025 12:44

When I was in debt I just didn't spend on any of those extras. Fair enough you can't get rid of the cat but it was foolish to commit to a pet you couldnt afford.

Drop Netflix & watch the YT ads.

You can get dvds for free from your local library.

No boiler cover.

No taxis ever.

No orthodontics.

No gym. Go jogging & buy some weights from a charity shop.

lovemycbf · 19/02/2025 12:48

I seriously wouldn't be cancelling the pet insurance having experienced monthly vet visits for more than a decade due to a ongoing medical issue.
You'd be foolish to cancel it
Even an overnight emergency vets can be £1000 per day

lovemycbf · 19/02/2025 12:51

Loveduppenguin · 18/02/2025 15:45

you need to try and give every single £ a job…this is what I do
In -2750
CB-280
Benefits-177

Total: 3,207

Rent 1400
Electricity 120
Life insurance 40
Internet/tv/2 phones 86
Bin charge 23
Apple 20
Disney 10
DS club 25

Total 1,724
that means I have Leftover 1,483 pm

This 1483 goes to
300 food
240 fuel
200 savings
50 kids clubs/school trips etc
100 treats/coffees/takeaways
100 clothes/shoes
50 birthdays/gifts
50 prescriptions/medicines
150 holidays/trips (either as a payment off a booking or as savings)

I know this essentially leaves over 243 but it gets eaten up somewhere with unexpected things usually and if not it’s put into savings.

like this month I have 353 left for now and I’ll get 41 on Thursday. I get paid on the 24th. BUT it’s half term and my dc are off this Thursday and Friday so I’ll want to bring them bowling/cinema etc and I’ve had an unexpected bill of 50 for something, so i may not have as much leftover as I thought. I need to rethink a bit of my budget too but the bones are there.

I have a prepayment prescription certificate I pay £11 ish a month for limitless prescriptions

Catsarekings123 · 19/02/2025 12:52

I think sometimes if you have a car you don't realise. Buses don't always turn up, or turn up 30 mins late. Sometimes if you need to be somewhere quick there's Uber for convenience. It's not all the time but sometimes it's a choice between that or standing 30 minutes in the rain and being late.

OP posts:
LGBirmingham · 19/02/2025 12:53

Your boiler insurance and pet insurance is a lot. We pay 150 per year for a boiler service with a local gas engineer and we don't bother with pet insurance for our two cats. If you have savings you don't need insurance because you can manage the bills when they crop. Neither insurance is better value than saving the money yourself because the insurance company is making money out of it.

Why don't you cancel those and put that money into a special savings account just for those two things? You'll soon see ot add up. You'd have a £900 pot for those type of expenses after a year. Make sure you service your boiler annually so it's less likely to break.

Catsarekings123 · 19/02/2025 12:53

I don't have live TV or a licence. I don't have a dvd player. If I cancel all subscriptions I will be watching nothing. There's saving money and then there's just living in misery. I may as well just live by candlelight and eat gruel by the sounds of it.

OP posts:
LolaPeony · 19/02/2025 12:55

Catsarekings123 · 19/02/2025 12:53

I don't have live TV or a licence. I don't have a dvd player. If I cancel all subscriptions I will be watching nothing. There's saving money and then there's just living in misery. I may as well just live by candlelight and eat gruel by the sounds of it.

Do you need both Netflix and YouTube premium at the same time though? Couldn’t you switch between them - subscribe to one for a couple of months, and then switch to the other?

I rotate subscription services - I have Netflix for a couple of months, then Now TV, then Disney Plus, timed around particular shows I want to watch on each. I don’t see any point paying for multiple services simultaneously.

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