Would getting a dog help my dc?

[Elsbels00]

We've been thinking about getting a dog for quite a while. I know what a massive responsibility it is and that's why we've never really gone for it.

Both of my children 10yo and 16yo struggle a bit socially at times and I'm wondering whether a pet would bring some joy to their lives. 10yo especially is such an animal lover

I certainly wouldn't be expecting them to take care of it of course, my 16yo is pretty busy anyway.

But a pet to love might be good for everyone. I can rem her being a teenager myself and my pets were always a great comfort to me. All those evening dog walks when I was feeling fed up.

Oh I think it would definitely help. I remember feeling so happy to get home when we got our family dog, any school worries melted away. I was 10 at the time we got him.

What’s your set up? Do you have time and energy for a dog? Are people wfh? Etc

We could manage a dog just about.

I work part time and wfh a lot. There would be some time the dog would have to be left for a few hours. A couple of mornings a week.

Would an adult cat who is a more stay at home cat also give you that same comfort. My cats give me more comfort that my dogs do.

That would be a very difficult set up for a puppy, ok for an older dog but not a puppy sorry

Getting a dog could potentially be really beneficial for your children. Since your 10-year-old is an animal lover, having a dog around would surely bring a lot of joy and excitement into their life. Pets can be wonderful companions, and for kids who struggle socially, a dog can offer unconditional love and acceptance.

If you take on an adult cat you can’t guarantee it will have the temperament you want.
My rescue was 6 months old when I got him and he is friendly but not a ‘sitting on your lap’ cat.

A cat probably would be easier but really I would like to be able to take the dog for walks.

We go walking most days in all weathers.

Thought about maybe considering a rescue dog but not sure it would be suitable with the 10yo.

Can you afford a dog? Pay for their vets bills? Give them the time and love they deserve?

It can really help. But there’s going to be a settling in period whether you get a rescue or a pup which can be quite difficult. If you aren’t sure then perhaps borrow a dog? Our dog died the year before last and DS has been really sad without him. So I posted on our local dog friendly facebook group about borrowing a dog. We aren’t ready for the full commitment yet. Over a year on, it’s worked out brilliantly. We have a dog half the time, had him over Christmas and taken him on holidays. His normal dog walker collects him from our house so it’s not even that much work or change in his routine. But he gets company and stimulation during the day. His owner has a free sitter for holidays and we get to do the walks and holidays we used to.

DS has him on his screensaver. Invites friends round to meet the dog and rushes home from school to walk him.

Dogs can have hugely positive benefits for children, calming, non judgmental and great company outdoors and indoors. But are a lot of work. If you’re not sure this could be a good tester. There’s bound to be a local dog group to ask around.

Well a puppy is not suitable for your set up so rehoming an adult dog is your only option. No reason why you can't rehome a dog with a 10 year old child. Not as easy as getting a pup but perfectly possible.

We bought a puppy for our daughter 4 years ago when she was 17, to help with her mental health. Best thing ever! He's helped her wellbeing so much. However, he is HER dog. We help out if she's busy, but she is responsible for the rest of his care. I work full time as a childminder and DH has health issues which means he can't walk the dog so DD has to do it.

Just be aware a dog may live to be 14 or 15 and you may have the dog living at home for longer than the DC!! Make sure you are doing it for you as well as them!

I'm not sure why so many people are discouraging you. Yes it's a massive responsibility (which you've acknowledged) but your children are a good age for it, and you sound like you know it'll be your dog and won't expect them to do all the work. No reason why you couldn't get a puppy, as long as you're willing to put in the work with training and can find some sort of daycare/family friend to help you get through the first year or two (not ideal to leave them alone too early). Also depending on breed you might find it hard to WFH. I have a spaniel and it was only around 3.5yo that I started to be able to WFH with her in the house, before that she was too needy and disruptive.

We have an extremely friendly cat that our kids adore . We deliberately chose a breed that likes to
interact with children , fetch toys , sit on laps etc . I can absolutely recommend a pet for kids if done carefully with the pet’s needs in mind .

I agreed to a dog 'for the children' when they were teens. Always said we weren't a dog family and would welcome having some freedom back once everyone had left home, but when he died unexpectedly I was bereft. Lasted under a year before we had another dog, without any pretence about whose dog it was this time!

Your reason for wanting to get a dog is a good one but "We could manage a dog just about." is far from ideal.
Why don't you look at Borrow My Doggy or volunteer elsewhere locally (local dog adoption shelter) for dog walking first, to get an idea of whether your kids would be interested?

Why have several posters claimed a puppy is not right for the OPs set up? It seems almost ideal to me. She only works PT, mostly from home and the puppy would only have a couple of mornings by itself each week. A puppy would quickly get used to that and if it was really a problem, while the puppy is very young the OP could get a dog walker in for 30 mins.

Yes absolutely.

If we did it wouldn't be the dcs dog, but I think it could bring them some comfort over the next few years.

Must admit, the ‘just about’ comment concerns me also. Dogs can’t be left straight away, this needs building up.

Meant to say think about breed carefully. Lots of breed specific rescues will rehome to homes with children but the temperament of the dog needs to fit with your family. Some dogs like quiet households, others are more relaxed. I personally can’t abide barky dogs and prefer larger dogs so tend to go for retrievers. The dog we look after is a ten year old golden retriever, he’s incredibly calm and friendly. We had a labrador so very similar in size and temperament.
i see nothing but benefits to having a dog but it’s good you are thinking about it carefully as it’s a huge commitment and cost.

When I say we could manage just about. What u mean is we would have to adapt to an extra responsibility.

I was thinking of maybe a whippet.

Because she's setting the dog up for separation anxiety, which can be disastrous. Many such dogs end up in rescues (largely because they become destructive in the home and self-harm) and then the rescue has a hell of a job finding such a dog a new home.

My autistic teen adored the dog but even so, found the (occasional) barkiness and scrabbliness hard to cope with at times. You know your children best -- would they be OK with mud, claws, slobber, dog breath, dog hair, poo picking etc, do you think?

On which note -- time to haul self and dog outside for belated walk.

I wish people wouldn't jump the gun. I was scared to start this thread tbh. I asked if people thought a dog could be beneficial for my dc.

I haven't even got a dog and I'm being accused of setting up said hypothetical dog separation anxiety.

I've said I'm out of the house for two mornings a week. Which is something that would need to be considered in terms of arrangements. IF we did go for it.