DM offering me a house.

[ThelittleBee]

So I moved overseas some 10 years ago, and in that time my DM met her now DP and they decided to move in together. DM has asked me a couple of times about if I will be buying a place of my own, but I have explained to her that after footing the bill for mine and DH wedding last year and the country I reside in requiring a 20-25% deposit, that would not be happening any time soon. She then went on to tell me that since she has no mortgage any more, she will be selling her place to move into the new house that her DP purchased for them, and he will also be selling his. They jointly own the property but he paid for the majority of the mortgage on the new house which is also paid off directly. My DM then explained to me that her plan was to give me some off my nest egg early, basically the deposit I would need over here. It was a very generous and kind offer of her, and it would have a huge impact on where we will be in the future. Issue now is that my landlord has approached us about selling the property in the future, and asked if we would be interested in buying. We love our place, its the perfect first house for a small family, and the landlord is even happy to wait a couple of years if we wanted to rent to buy. This would be an amazing opportunity for us. The kicker is... that when I have mentioned this opportunity to my mum, she has congratulated us, expressed what an amazing opportunity it would be and has told us to go for it. I mentioned that we wouldnt have the 25% sadly and she said 'well I can help out a little when I get my stuff sorted' (as in finish moving in to new place ect). The problem is, with out it we simply don't have the deposit, not even half. This offer from her is the difference between a discussion happening and there being zero point even addressing the landlord with interest. I don't want to make her feel pressure about it, but I also am frightened to start agreeing to things I couldn't afford with out this 'early nest egg'. How do I broach it? Or do I just accept that although a lovely idea, some people can say things in the moment which were never going to happen?

Ahhh the coffee comments. Hilarious considering coffee shops and cafes are packed to the brim with pensioners every single day in my town.

A weekly coffee and Netflix some how equals tens of thousands for a house deposit in their eyes.

To be fair the coffee comment was made by the youngster struggling to afford to buy a home, it wasn't a suggestion from any home owner here as a way forwards.

My mum has done this in the past too not with big things like a house but other things I don't really know what the answer is.
I know there are hundreds of countries in the world so not sure which one you are in but in mine they have released some 90 and 100% mortgages recently for residents. We are considering it because rental prices are sky high.

OP, I know you're frustrated by your situation, but insulting other people won't help.

Talk to your mother, and ask how much money she'll be able to give you and exactly when.

My 20s daughter doesn't have a car. They just live near good public transport. She doesn't take holidays. I would never expect her to pay for my parent's or grandparents' funerals either (and would expect her to ask about their own funds in the bank or assets or insurances). No pets, no fancy outings or cars. Does own a house though. And does buy regular coffees.

OP, I would just make your plans without your mother's involvement, if she can't commit. It's always best to make decisions based on what is real now, not on what might happen.

I’ve voted YABU because your casual ageism towards “boomers” is not a good look.

People are so careful with language these days to avoid stereotyping others - apart from when it comes to people who through an accident of birth happen to be born at a certain time. Hating on “boomers” won’t help your situation.