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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not farting in front of DH

414 replies

Dancingatthepinkponyclub · 16/02/2025 20:24

Not really an AIBU but I love hearing what others think!

Have been with my DH for 18 years and have never intentionally farted in front of him. I mean I know it’s impossible to hold every fart in but he’s never actually heard one! If I need to I would go in another room or be discreet. My mum and sister are the same and a couple of friends. Also my DH is the same and won’t in front of me unless he does by mistake!

I know it’s natural and everyone does it but I’d never want to endure someone’s else’s fart nor make them endure mine! It hardly makes you attractive does it! That being said I wouldn’t fart in front of anyone… I mean maybe the dog!

what do you think?!

OP posts:
DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 16/02/2025 21:35

Sebsaloysius · 16/02/2025 21:30

Wait. So the non-farters have never experienced the huge entertainment value of a game of 'Guess my fart'?

What are they guessing? Whether it became more significant having fully committed yourself than initially expected?!

wooliegloves · 16/02/2025 21:36

you fart in your sleep and they tend to
slip out as you age

Zippidydoodah · 16/02/2025 21:36

Autther · 16/02/2025 20:27

We fart with freedom in this house

Same here! I don’t fart as much as dp as I’m more polite than him, and will mostly save it for the toilet. I do fart sometimes though.

Netcam · 16/02/2025 21:36

Funnily enough, despite not pooing or farting in front of each other at home, DH and I have a mini caravan and poo in that toilet in the little cubicle with a door that has a gap in the top, so not very private. And we go and empty the toilet cassette together and joke with each other about who a big poo belonged to when we see it come out.

wooliegloves · 16/02/2025 21:37

Not everyone has stinky farts

Halling · 16/02/2025 21:37

I don’t even like the word fart

ThisQuickPlumFinch · 16/02/2025 21:37

I never did in 22 years.

PandaTime · 16/02/2025 21:37

We don't fart in front of each other either. It's not because we're holding it or anything. We just don't get the urge. We do use the toilet in front of each other though. Many a conversation happens while one of us sits on the porcelain throne and the other sits across the room.

AlleyRose · 16/02/2025 21:37

It was the beginning of the end with my ex. Proper gave me the ick.

He used to say he couldn't hold it in. But he never did it in front of our parents, friends etc.

Which meant he could hold it in, he just chose not to for me. Yuk.

Spacehoppersrule · 16/02/2025 21:37

Lyannaa · 16/02/2025 21:27

That’s completely different. Crapping yourself when you’ve got something as vile as campylobacter is not something anyone can help.

Show quote history

I was utterly mortified - we hadn’t been together all that long (maybe a year?) He was really kind about it though (whilst vomiting in a bucket because he couldn’t make it to the bathroom) and it made me love him more 🥰 20+ yrs later we are fairly relaxed about bodily functions. But not when anyone is eating or if we are having sex 🤣🤣🤣 Works for us.….

Mydogmylife · 16/02/2025 21:38

DiscoBeat · 16/02/2025 20:45

Nope, it's a bathroom thing! Obviously over 20 years there are the occasional slips but I'm mortified if it happens! DH v rarely too but he just says 'sorry'. Manners don't have to disappear when you get together with someone!

married 46 years - unrealistic to say never farted in front of each other in all that time but I don’t unless by accident - not really difficult for me as I am not usually a windy person ! Probably do at night unknowingly I expect😂 he does sometimes but will apologise, it’s usually sneaked up on him rather than just trumping away . It’s just manners really isn’t it

Inastatus · 16/02/2025 21:39

I’m with you OP, we don’t deliberately share smelly farts with each other, that’s just gross. We have a great relationship but I think some things are just best kept private. We don’t go to the toilet in front of each other either (caveat - we have more than one bathroom, neither of us have ibs or other digestive problems, pregnancy/menopause did not make me flatulent).

The13thFairy · 16/02/2025 21:39

My little dog used to come in bed with me and I could never bring myself to fart while she was snuggled up to me. She had no such scruples.

TENSsion · 16/02/2025 21:40

I was like a punctured tire during my pregnancies. I couldn’t have not farted in front of him even if I tried.

OP, he will have definitely heard you fart in your sleep.

Teenagehorrorbag · 16/02/2025 21:40

Same OP.

I just wish DH of 20 years would get the message! He thinks it's fine to do it wherever and whenever - it's such a turn off! I tried telling him that but he just laughs.

Of course we all have occasional slips - that's only natural. But I hate deliberate and uncaring (and loud) blasts. So gross! And I really hate when he gets up at 4 in the morning and does huge loud echoing farts in the en-suite - if he hadn't woken me getting out of bed I'd have no chance sleeping through that.

He says he does it so as not to do it in bed - so I suppose I should be thankful. But why can't he do it quietly? It just makes me cringe! Aargh......

tobyiana · 16/02/2025 21:41

Have you ever been in a busy ward in hospital for a week?

Franjipanl8r · 16/02/2025 21:41

One of my funniest memories of my DH when we first met was him timing a jump up in the air with a fart when we were on a walk. I knew then he was the man for me.

Sebsaloysius · 16/02/2025 21:42

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 16/02/2025 21:35

What are they guessing? Whether it became more significant having fully committed yourself than initially expected?!

Show quote history

When one person in the room feels a fart coming on, they announce "Guess my fart". Everyone else has to try and guess what the fart is going to sound like by way of blowing the appropriately toned/pitched raspberry. The farter then farts and the winner is whoever guessed the closest sound! It's so much more fun than Uno.

I'm told there's a lot of good examples on TikTok (I may fart, but I don't do TikTok!).

JANEY205 · 16/02/2025 21:43

I have IBS and am postpartum so no longer trust them and am envious of anyone who can let rip freely. I don’t ever fart around my husband. I go to the bathroom. My husband will claim he can’t control them which I find deeply concerning 😂

wooliegloves · 16/02/2025 21:43

I've been through peri and it didn't make me fart any more that normal (which is only about once a day anyway).

I don't fart that often, wonder what's a normal amount

Matronic6 · 16/02/2025 21:44

We are comfortable farting in front of each other. My resolve to never do it was broken by a tummy bug in our second year together, never looked back. Prefer not having to hold it in or sneak off to the bathroom during the night or make unnecessary bathroom trips.

JenniferBooth · 16/02/2025 21:46

Lyannaa · 16/02/2025 21:27

That’s completely different. Crapping yourself when you’ve got something as vile as campylobacter is not something anyone can help.

Show quote history

Unfortunately the only marriage vow most of MN seem to be bothered with is "keep you only unto them" The rest including "in sickness and in health" seem to be optional

wooliegloves · 16/02/2025 21:46

He used to say he couldn't hold it in. But he never did it in front of our parents, friends etc.

Surely he spent more time with you though?

annlee3817 · 16/02/2025 21:47

Same, we don't fart in front of each other, other than a couple of accidental ones during pregnancy and then only time I've ever heard DH fart was in his sleep. My ex was the same, to the point that he was so desperate not to, he went off in an alley way on pretence of doing a wee, farted and followed through, that was a little harder to explain away lol

Bobbie12345 · 16/02/2025 21:48

I fart in front of my husband and kids.
In part, it started when one of my daughters was super farty and very embarrassed about it as a 6-7 year old. I realised I needed to normalise it and show her I was ok with farting around near family.
Never looked back!