To not know how to manage social situations and kids with colds

[StillTryingtoBuy]

I think I’ve lost the ability to judge how to manage social situations and kids with colds so am looking for a steer. amy kids were very young before covid so not sure what was the norm then or what the new norm is now either.

I have young children, toddler and school age. Among other friends with young children there is an acceptance that kids get colds, they are in childcare and school and basically very exploded to bugs. If we have plans with another family and one of mine has a cough / runny nose I’ll usually tell the other family and they will say they are happy to stick with the plan and still meet. If the child has a fever we would cancel as the sick child won’t be well enough to enjoy the activity anyway.

I should say we are lucky we have no particular vulnerabilities to illness and would also stick with plans if a child we’re meeting had a cold i.e. cough / runny nose. I appreciate a heads up but wouldn’t especially mind if a child we were meeting turned out to have cold symptoms. Different if they were very unwell but runny nose / cough symptoms seem constant with small kids and wouldn’t bother me.

I find it more difficult though with extended family where we have plans with adults who don’t have young kids. Do they expect us to cancel or warn in advance about cold symptoms…?

We are meant to meet wider family tomorrow and my toddler has a cough. No fever and they’ve had it for a week, checked by doctor about 4 days in and no treatment needed - viral and let it ride out. Everyone else in the family is well.

I’ve told those people I’m in regular touch with as it came up in conversation - how’s your week, fine, X has a cough etc. But I haven’t messaged everyone we’ll be seeing to let them know about this cough. Should I? Is that what people generally do? I don’t know if people have reasons to be more cautious about coughs for example. Or is messaging everyone over the top and will they think my child is more ill than they actually are or that I want to cancel?

What is the norm here with kids and colds…thanks!

I don’t have kids and colds always go to my chest, meaning I get quite ill with them. I’d be quite irritated if someone just brought their sick child around me and didn’t let me know in advance, as I would definitely postpone. Even family.

This wasn’t something we could postpone though. It was a family event with about 10 kids and 30 adults. At this time of year I would think you’d be quite likely to catch something, with those numbers? That’s the part that makes me wonder; is it worth keeping kids away when so much is circulating anyway.

I meant that I would postpone, meaning I’d miss the event, not the child.

But I don’t think it’s necessarily a good argument to have sick kids out on the basis that so much is circulating - that’s probably why so much is circulating!

At this time of year I would think you’d be quite likely to catch something, with those numbers? That’s the part that makes me wonder; is it worth keeping kids away when so much is circulating anyway.

Just because colds are circulating, is that a reason to compound it? Maybe its selfish people letting their sick children be around people that is the reason its circulating! 🙄

One person's cold is another person's pneumonia. It's put me in hospital before and I'm not even immunocompromised. I think you should always let people know so they can make their own decision, otherwise you're essentially deciding to take risks for them.

I get this - but so many viruses are spread before people have any symptoms so it seems like we could end up missing events and people would still catch things? I don’t disagree though, I actually wonder if we should move to having fewer gatherings in winter months as a means of stopping so much circulation.

Just to say thanks for all the views, it’s helpful to know people appreciate being let know in advance.

I would never cancel unless it was D&V or something requiring A&E. I don’t warn or expect to be warned neither. Crack on!

I'm not sure avoidance of standard bugs is more important than socialising for the majority of people.
If some have particular considerations the balance might tip for them but we can't all live as though we are immune suppressed we are sociable creatures and don't thrive when prevented from doing that, especially in the darker months! 😱

Very true.

That would be fine, thanks 😀

I have no kids, but it would never enter my head to say that people couldn't visit if they or their children had a cold. Colds are just one of those things - we all get them, we can catch them on the bus, in the cinema, shops etc. They do not merit anyone cancelling a visit.
Just forget about it, OP, because it really doesn't matter.

I think at a large event like that it’s fine. Especially if this is a lingering cough that toddler has had for week - you’re more infectious just before symptoms not weeks later. Probably a few with colds at this time of year and that’s the risk with a large event.

If I have friends coming over and we’ll be in a confined space or they are staying over I like a heads up.

Out in a crowded restaurant- they’ll be quite a few people with coughs/colds so that’s the risk you take.

Agree @Delatron

I should have added a poll really - only conclusion seems to be that enough people would appreciate a heads up so better to share information in advance if in doubt, especially if the meet up is going to involve lots of close contact / less so if mild illness and easy to avoid at a larger event.

Agree, and the less well I know someone, the more likely I am to err on the side of caution. Because I already know what the pov of people I know well is.