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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Child ear piercing gone wrong - help me with what to say

416 replies

formula3 · 15/02/2025 20:30

DD8 had ears pierced today at Claire’s. All went fine, until we got home and she said “my earring has fallen out” and after initially telling her that was impossible l looked, and sure enough there was no earring in right ear. She hadn’t fiddled with them in the 3 hours they had been pierced and we got home, and I found the earring itself in the hood of her coat, no sign of the back so assume it was loose from start and is still somewhere in the shopping centre.
she was very upset, obviously, as she’s 8 and was panicking due to some blood around hole. I called Claire’s and explained what happened, the lady I spoke to sounded very shocked and said she had never had this happen and she needed to call her senior. She called back to say they were very sorry, that it must have been a fault with the earring (though it looks fine) and all that can be done is to leave it a week to heal over and they will pierce it again and as an apology not make me pay again!

I was too shocked to really process it other than to say that I didn’t think she’d want to come back there given she’d been brave to get it done in the first place and was now very upset, and said I had to go as had a very upset little girl to sort out but Could someone senior get back to me. That didn’t happen by the end of the day.

what do I do now? Contact head office? I spent £68 on good quality piercing earrings and about £15 on the piercing aftercare which for me is a lot but it was a special occasion that has gone really wrong. I’d like a refund because I feel I’ve paid for a service that has been poor (be it the fault of the equipment, or staff not checking the back was secure). My daughter is upset she only has one earring (fair enough) and I will try and encourage her to get it re-done elsewhere but right now there’s no way she’d agree to being pierced again.

I don’t write very well- could someone help me word an email and what I should say/ask for? I mainly want to stop this happening to someone other child but I’d also like my money back, not just free new piercing which can’t be goof
for her ear after a week? ☹️

thank you X

OP posts:
Frostynoman · 15/02/2025 23:13

For all those suggesting it’s a result of fiddling - they’re bloody rock solid to move the backs off when done properly! I can still remember how hard it was to get the backs off decades later! You’ve paid for a service and it hasn’t been adequately delivered - you e had some good advice to get recourse OP. I hope your girl bounces back from this quickly and enjoys the next time she has them done

Mumtobabyhavoc · 15/02/2025 23:13

Fluffydino21 · 15/02/2025 23:10

In fairness it’s confusing because you keep saying she can handle the pain and discomfort so is old enough to get it done but then say she’s so distressed that she won’t allow you near her ear to attempt to put the earring back in and was upset at the blood 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mum tried for 30 mins... probably should've stoped after one or two attempts instead.

Concretejungle1 · 15/02/2025 23:13

wait for them to heal then wait till she is old enough to go to a piecing studio.
i had my first ones at Claire's as a child ( they got infected).
i had others done with a gun and even though i no longer have studs in i still have pain where the piercings were.
every piercing i have had done with a gun have gotten infected/not healed/had pain.
( i was young and didn't know better).
thankfully I've since managed to have a few redone with a needle and they've all been fine.
i do not recommend a gun at all.

some studios do pierce under 18’s with a parent, lobes only.
have you checked the back is not actually stuck in her ear? ( this happened to my family members child).

WinterBones · 15/02/2025 23:14

As a thought, and just to reiterate, any piercer worth their salt will probably help get the other one out of her ear with minimal pain and fuss. Look one up and pop along!

MinnieBalloon · 15/02/2025 23:15

formula3 · 15/02/2025 23:09

You seem oddly emotional about this, even swearing🤷‍♀️it absolutely matters she knows what she does and doesn’t want - her body, her rules. She wanted her ears pierced, it’s not neglect (which is what failing to keep your child safe falls under). I took her to the place everyone else I spoke to had a positive experience with. Sadly not my daughter and we won’t go there again and hopefully this helps others too.

Her body, her rules? She’s 8.

Is it still her body, her rules if she decides she wants to sleep around at 12/13/14? Still her body, her rules if she wants a backyard tattoo at 15?

You are the parent. You have a duty to keep your CHILD safe. It is not her body, her rules and you are failing to keep her safe — as proven here — by believing that.

You’re in for a hell of a ride in her teenage years.

formula3 · 15/02/2025 23:15

Fluffydino21 · 15/02/2025 23:10

In fairness it’s confusing because you keep saying she can handle the pain and discomfort so is old enough to get it done but then say she’s so distressed that she won’t allow you near her ear to attempt to put the earring back in and was upset at the blood 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not really no- she was prepared for the pain of piercing and aftercare and was fine, she was very disappointed that it fell out and that it was hurting her when I tried to shove it back in (blindly as have 0 experience of piercings and she was nervous, as was I so that explains her feelings there) again I think any child / teenager would feel gutted to have finally been allowed to get their ears pierced after 2+ years of asking and not being able to, feeling so proud dancing home and then finding one…gone and me not able to get it back in, that doesn’t mean she was too young, it means she’s disappointed in the piercing failure as am I, which is the point of the thread!

OP posts:
formula3 · 15/02/2025 23:17

MinnieBalloon · 15/02/2025 23:15

Her body, her rules? She’s 8.

Is it still her body, her rules if she decides she wants to sleep around at 12/13/14? Still her body, her rules if she wants a backyard tattoo at 15?

You are the parent. You have a duty to keep your CHILD safe. It is not her body, her rules and you are failing to keep her safe — as proven here — by believing that.

You’re in for a hell of a ride in her teenage years.

Please calm down 😞

OP posts:
MinnieBalloon · 15/02/2025 23:17

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PorridgeEater · 15/02/2025 23:18

LillyPJ · 15/02/2025 20:49

I suppose this will be unpopular but I can't imagine why anybody would want to pierce any part of a child. It just seems like (admittedly mild) mutilation to me. You say she was being 'brave' so who's forcing her to have her ears pierced? And what for? I say wait until you're 16, then people are old enough to make up their own minds.

Not unpopular with me! Would not inflict this on a child, she probably didn't understand that there could be problems. Waiting till 16 is better if she really must have it.

formula3 · 15/02/2025 23:18

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You seem so oddly over emotional about this, please calm down.

OP posts:
MinnieBalloon · 15/02/2025 23:20

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WinterBones · 15/02/2025 23:20

MinnieBalloon · 15/02/2025 23:15

Her body, her rules? She’s 8.

Is it still her body, her rules if she decides she wants to sleep around at 12/13/14? Still her body, her rules if she wants a backyard tattoo at 15?

You are the parent. You have a duty to keep your CHILD safe. It is not her body, her rules and you are failing to keep her safe — as proven here — by believing that.

You’re in for a hell of a ride in her teenage years.

You are aware that what happened to the OP's daughter can happen to anyone, of any age, who has their ear pierced with a gun?

The persons age is irrelevant, the piercers are the ones at fault here not the OP.

formula3 · 15/02/2025 23:20

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Oh good grief, please focus on another thread tonight, you really do sound weirdly over invested.

OP posts:
formula3 · 15/02/2025 23:21

WinterBones · 15/02/2025 23:20

You are aware that what happened to the OP's daughter can happen to anyone, of any age, who has their ear pierced with a gun?

The persons age is irrelevant, the piercers are the ones at fault here not the OP.

Thank you!

OP posts:
Concretejungle1 · 15/02/2025 23:21

Houndown · 15/02/2025 23:06

I thought sleeper earrings had to be used when the ears are pierced. I remember being told to turn them a little every so often and bathe the areas in a cleansing solution 2-3 times a day. Sounds like you made the wrong choice of ear piercer.

no you should never turn the piercings, it can harm the healing process

MinnieBalloon · 15/02/2025 23:21

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MinnieBalloon · 15/02/2025 23:22

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formula3 · 15/02/2025 23:24

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The third person use of “mum” is considered really outdated now in social&health care and education, I am sorry this is affecting you so much, maybe stop following it as you sound really angry about it.

OP posts:
Fluffydino21 · 15/02/2025 23:24

Being disappointed is fair enough, anyone of any age would be disappointed if this happened.

What I mean is, your description of your DD’s distress at the physical repercussions of it falling out suggest she’s not ready for this. E.g. panicking at the blood, reluctant to let you look at her ear etc. And I think that’s what a lot of posters are picking up on.

There are often complications with ear piercings. And they’re uncomfortable and painful. This is one of them. And it seems like it’s been too much for your DD.

By all means request a refund and try again in 6 months but even getting it done by the best most professional ear piercer won’t completely eliminate the risk of infection or it getting caught on something / falling out.

formula3 · 15/02/2025 23:25

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You don’t need to help me at all.
sending you a gentle hug for whatever you are feeling and I’m sorry my thread has upset you 💞

OP posts:
WinterBones · 15/02/2025 23:25

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Politely, it isn't your place to keep having a go at the OP, she is very aware of the consequences of what has happened today.

Your constant badgering of her serves no purpose.

MinnieBalloon · 15/02/2025 23:25

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snowmichael · 15/02/2025 23:26

To me, an unpierced person, sounds like excellent customer service

MinnieBalloon · 15/02/2025 23:27

formula3 · 15/02/2025 23:25

You don’t need to help me at all.
sending you a gentle hug for whatever you are feeling and I’m sorry my thread has upset you 💞

No, I’m not angry or upset.

I’m very concerned for the child you are unable to parent or protect, though.

formula3 · 15/02/2025 23:27

Fluffydino21 · 15/02/2025 23:24

Being disappointed is fair enough, anyone of any age would be disappointed if this happened.

What I mean is, your description of your DD’s distress at the physical repercussions of it falling out suggest she’s not ready for this. E.g. panicking at the blood, reluctant to let you look at her ear etc. And I think that’s what a lot of posters are picking up on.

There are often complications with ear piercings. And they’re uncomfortable and painful. This is one of them. And it seems like it’s been too much for your DD.

By all means request a refund and try again in 6 months but even getting it done by the best most professional ear piercer won’t completely eliminate the risk of infection or it getting caught on something / falling out.

I think the blood panic was only because the piercer said watch out for bleeding as it can mean infection so she had a “oh no” moment. I’d tried for a while to get it back in with no success which had clearly really hurt her and she didn’t really want me to keep going to I stopped. That’s all. Perhaps I didn’t explain it very well in my first post, hope this helps a bit.

OP posts:
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