Child ear piercing gone wrong - help me with what to say

[formula3]

DD8 had ears pierced today at Claire’s. All went fine, until we got home and she said “my earring has fallen out” and after initially telling her that was impossible l looked, and sure enough there was no earring in right ear. She hadn’t fiddled with them in the 3 hours they had been pierced and we got home, and I found the earring itself in the hood of her coat, no sign of the back so assume it was loose from start and is still somewhere in the shopping centre.
she was very upset, obviously, as she’s 8 and was panicking due to some blood around hole. I called Claire’s and explained what happened, the lady I spoke to sounded very shocked and said she had never had this happen and she needed to call her senior. She called back to say they were very sorry, that it must have been a fault with the earring (though it looks fine) and all that can be done is to leave it a week to heal over and they will pierce it again and as an apology not make me pay again!

I was too shocked to really process it other than to say that I didn’t think she’d want to come back there given she’d been brave to get it done in the first place and was now very upset, and said I had to go as had a very upset little girl to sort out but Could someone senior get back to me. That didn’t happen by the end of the day.

what do I do now? Contact head office? I spent £68 on good quality piercing earrings and about £15 on the piercing aftercare which for me is a lot but it was a special occasion that has gone really wrong. I’d like a refund because I feel I’ve paid for a service that has been poor (be it the fault of the equipment, or staff not checking the back was secure). My daughter is upset she only has one earring (fair enough) and I will try and encourage her to get it re-done elsewhere but right now there’s no way she’d agree to being pierced again.

I don’t write very well- could someone help me word an email and what I should say/ask for? I mainly want to stop this happening to someone other child but I’d also like my money back, not just free new piercing which can’t be goof
for her ear after a week? ☹️

thank you X

Sorry, slightly off topic I suppose, but if Claire's and Blue Banana are so bad, WHERE do you go and how do you know that they will do a good job?

When she’s calmer take the other one out and let them heal. When she’s older she can go somewhere more reputable.

I briefly worked at Claire’s as a teenager during the holidays. I’d been there two days and had zero training when I was asked to pierce someone’s ears with that gun. I refused. That’s how much they value their customers. It’s just £££.

I try to educate people on going to a piercer rather than using a gun, would i berate them and say they hadn't put their child's safety first? No.
unsure why this is upsetting you but op made a mistake. Her child is not injured by it.
her child is upset at losing an earring.
op will know better next time.

No, I’m not upset, but this is exactly why some parents cannot be trusted.

Even now she still doesn’t think she needed to do any research because “everyone does it”, and even now she still thinks “her body, her rules” in regard to an 8 year old child.

Mum has not learnt anything here.

Politely and with due respect, I need to report you now for mentioning my 8 year old
”sleeping around in a few years”, it’s at best odd given its a thread on how to write a complaint letter, and at worst triggering for people so I’m gently going to flag it and again say I’m sorry for this thread upsetting you so much.

I also knew from a young age i wanted my ears pierced. I asked every single year. My parents gave in at around 11/12as i never stopped asking ( they also were very strict).
i don't see this as a bad age at all. Its easier before she starts big school.

As a child you are not capable of making that decision no matter how much you want it.

There is also a big difference between 8 and 12.

Also if you do not think there is a diff between sleeping around, piercings and tattoos then i think there may be a bigger problem.
i don't think its with the op as thats quite a shocking thing to say about a child.

My daughter has hers done last June on her 7th birthday.
I went to a reputable tattooist’s that also did piercings. For young children they have two piercers (one for each ear so they’re done at the same time) and they do it with a sterilised needle.
They were so good with DD and gave her so many chances to change her mind, they explicitly asked her for consent, explained the pain, practiced yoga breathing with her and did little chants once the needles were in and counted down from 10 which was long enough to get the earrings in.

I’d had my “seconds” pierced by the same women 2 years before and I didn’t get any of that special treatment 😂

I think if your DD is highly distressed, take both earrings out, let them heal properly (12 months plus) and take her to a proper piercer (usually at a tattoo studio). x

Good idea. And next time do it at the start of the summer holidays so she doesn’t have to deal with having micropore put over her ears every time she does pe at school .

My point is that the attitude of “her body, her rules” is incredibly damaging, and that lack of parenting only leads one way.

I’m absolutely reeling at £68. I don’t think it’s a problem. “Unfortunately one earring was faulty and fell out. dd is understandably reluctant to be repierced until her ear is completely healed and doesn’t want to be walking around with one earring so I will require a full refund.” There will be a policy - they will apply it. You may have to argue but you paid for her to be pierced and they’ve done half a job. I don’t think elaborate wording is going to help you.

I pierced dds ears with a needle during lockdown and she didn’t like the placement so took it out and it healed really quickly with no scaring and I redid them later. I forget how long - Covid was strange.

My daughter had a Claire’s style piercing (but not Claire’s) and her ear lobe swelled up and swallowed the ear ring. She needed to go under GA to have a minor operation to remove it. I refused to take her ever again lol but last year relented but took her to a needle piercer recommended to me locally. She had no problems and they healed quickly.

Oh my god, just stop seriously

My personal feeling is 8 yrs old is too young. From experience, my DD had hers done at 11 or 12 yrs old. I seem to remember her secondary school being OK with the initial 6 weeks (I think her hair was hiding them) but come summer, her hair was tied up and she was MADE to remove the studs for PE. The PE teacher took them and never returned them. I made a major complaint to the school about the teacher stealing them. They weren't expensive luckily. The teacher denied it but I'm 100% sure that DD didn't lose them.

Eventually DD just let the holes close up as just too much hassle. The holes would close up when she had the earrings out a bit each time.

They were redone at a proper piercing salon when she went to college. No issues.

Her ears were done at Claires the 1st time. But mumsnet will say Claires use a gun and it's not very sterile and punches the hole through the ear or the earrings are punched through the ear.

Forgive me if locations have already been mentioned, but https://silverliningstore.setmore.com/ have various locations in the north and are excellent. I paid about £40 to have dd's ears pierced, with titanium earrings that are internally threaded not butterfly backed. Pierced with a needle by a proper pierced not just someone with a gun. No paying for aftercare products either, they sent me all the aftercare info in an email, and have been using boiled water and sea salt as instructed. No redness, no swelling, no pain.

@formula3 she will be fine, these things happened. Just let this one heal (or both heal if you can get the other earring out - however these ‘first earring’ studs have tiger do you have to be more forceful in the ‘tug’ how the front and back (and explain there will be a ‘tug’) although I would personally leave one in as getting fingers too close could make the other one infected.

you would have been having trouble getting it back in as these earrings are thicker to create the ‘cut’ to then allow the ‘hole’ to heal around it,

anyway you mentioned how to find a reputable piercer and you are right those attchached to tattoo studios often don’t do under 14s or sometimes 18, however there are certain dedicated piercing studios (well there are in my area and where my children got theirs done, this studio was recommended to me by a tattoo studio), these people are highly skilled with accreditation and have usually been piercing for years both ears and body.

so do some research on your area and see what’s what.

p.s I defo do not think 8 is too young :)

I think children shouldn't have their ears pierced until they are 16. Even after then, it's a bit bollocks. like why?

Get a refund and give your daughter some time and see if she wants them done again.

I got mine die at 12, then stopped wearing them at 14 and they healed over at the back.

Got them done again at 25 had some issues and then got them done again last year.

All done with a gun though £68 seema an awful lot of money.

I still have my original gold studs. Pierced at 13 yrs old. I'm 49 yrs now and I can't fit them in lol! The posts are thick indeed. Perhaps I should take to a gold shop?

Frightening to think this is what happens - but I can well believe it.

I had my ears pierced at Claire’s around a similar age - they never healed and my Mum took them out and eventually took me in to an actual tattoo and piercing shop to have them done. No issues afterward (I’m 29 now and still done! ☺️)

If it was me I’d take the other one out, clean for next few days with the solution you got at the shop, let them heal and get her some clip on or magnet earrings. Take her in to a different shop in a few months (can you tell her you will go in summer hols or something so she knows roughly when and can look forward to it)

Don’t agree with trying to force the earring in. I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me as an adult, so why would anyone do that to an eight year old who is already upset?! 😵‍💫

Unsure if you will get a refund as shop could easily say she has fiddled with them or the back was caught on clothing etc and not take responsibility. I’d call back tomorrow and ask them to refund you (even if it’s just a voucher of equal value that you can use on her come birthday or Christmas time)

xx

Just to advise as I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned it yet, please be on the look out for swelling. The ear where the earring fell out will likely swell and feel quite bruised due to trying to put it back in.
The one with the earring still in - i assume they have used butterfly backs, these are notorious for the ear swelling over the back of them as the bars are not suitable for fresh piercings as they aren't long enough to fully accommodate potential swelling.

If you are leaving that one in please keep a close eye on it. I'm not sure what cleaning supplies they have sold you but I would get rid of them and just do sea salt soaks 3 times a day, do not twist or turn the earring - Claires have a nasty habit of telling you to twist the earrings to stop them 'sticking' to your skin. All you will do is tear open the wound and prolong healing.

If you are taking the earring out and it is a butterfly back you have to gently squeeze the back together - there are two slightly sticky out parts, one on either side of where the bar sits. Squeeze before trying to pull it off the bar and it should come off easier.

A week isn't long enough to heal before trying again. I would give it 6 weeks minimum.

And please do find a reputable piercer, anyone who uses a piercing gun or automatic delivery system as they are sometimes called, avoid. Piercings should only be done with needles. This makes way for the earring whereas the piercing guns force a blunt object through and causes excessive trauma to the piercing site. They also cannot be autoclaved so aren't actually able to be properly sterilised after each use.
A proper piercer uses a one time needle which should always be opened in front of you and disposed of in front of you.

Please also only use titanium or niobium for the earring material. Other materials can contain nickle which people often find they are allergic to and this will irritate the piercing site.