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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Couple held in Iran

660 replies

StrawDonkey · 15/02/2025 16:44

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c626p6pz7xlo

AIBU to not understand why anyone would go on a motorcycle trip to Iran? Advice is not to go there at all but I can understand that someone desperate to see family would take a risk.

OP posts:
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MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 16/02/2025 10:28

Justalittlehandhold · 16/02/2025 07:52

They weren’t with a tour guide, if it’s so safe why is it recommended not to go? I wonder 🤔

They were with a tour guide - sighs heavily

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 16/02/2025 10:30

Chuchoter · 16/02/2025 08:58

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall as they were arrested. Him standing there grinning like an idiot whilst she is prancing around making stupid faces whilst the Iranian forces stand there stoney faced!

Her - 'We love you guys! How about a hug.....'

Iranian - 'We are going to hang you by your ankles and feed you mouldy rice and water until we decide whether to give you a public flogging or a stoning!'

Husband - 'Oh I say chaps! That doesn't sound like much fun!'

Her (Giggling) - 'They're just joshing! Let's all hold hands and have a sing song about how lovely everyone is ..... tra la la la!'

Iranian - ' Stupid infidels! Prepare the electric shock machine....!'

.........

This made me laugh but also suspect you might be scarily accurate!

Wonder how many renditions of kumbaya the poor souls stuck in there with them have been subjected to so far.

EdithBond · 16/02/2025 10:30

saraclara · 16/02/2025 09:30

It doesn't help that the FO advice is often over cautious though. There are so many cases where it gives an over the top sense of risk, that people start not to take it seriously,

I once read what the FO advice would be about travelling to England, using their same risk assessments. Most people would be put off, especially about going to London, if they took it seriously.

As with any official advice, like medical or health advice, it errs on the side of caution because some people have less common sense or are more at risk. But Foreign Office advice is making you aware of how limited they may be in being able to help you in case of a crisis or emergency. So, it should be taken seriously.

And of course there are risks for tourists to the UK, especially in areas with higher rates of violent crime or dangerous terrain, tides etc.

I’ve often observed British tourists behaving overseas in ways they likely wouldn’t do in certain parts of their own country, such as wandering around with expensive jewellery/equipment on display or swimming in treacherous tides. Same with cultural awareness. Years ago in the Egyptian Museum in Cairo I saw a British tourist wandering around in a bikini top and arse-revealing shorts, which I doubt they’d have done in the British Museum in London.

Takersgonnatake · 16/02/2025 10:31

Hope it was worth it and no, I won’t be donating to the crowdfunding. Pair of utter eejits

AnnaMagnani · 16/02/2025 10:31

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 16/02/2025 10:28

They were with a tour guide - sighs heavily

Apparently they weren't with the tour guide when arrested.

They presumably felt 'connected' to the tour guide and life long friends.

When it's more likely he reported them 10 minutes after they headed off without him.

Hazeby · 16/02/2025 10:34

MagdaLenor · 16/02/2025 10:01

I don't think it's that kind of life coaching.....

You’re right. It’s probably all about positivity and being your best self and holding space or some other such spectacularly inane drivel.

PurpleChrayn · 16/02/2025 10:34

A lot of Westerners have a very rose-tinted optimistic (deluded) view of how countries like Iran actually are.

CeeJay81 · 16/02/2025 10:35

You don't go a country, that's on the don't travel too list and post a load of photos on social media. I don't have Instagram, so no idea what was posted but I'm sure it wasn't hard for the authorities to workout she was r could be on a psychology mission. Which is instant alarm bells to them. The minute they didnt turn up to the hotel, there would have been suspicions about them. I expect anyone from the UK is tracked while there. That's why you are expected to be with a guide. So they did several things that are instant alarm bells to the authorities. Wether you agree with it or not.

MagdaLenor · 16/02/2025 10:38

Hazeby · 16/02/2025 10:34

You’re right. It’s probably all about positivity and being your best self and holding space or some other such spectacularly inane drivel.

This.

MagdaLenor · 16/02/2025 10:38

PurpleChrayn · 16/02/2025 10:34

A lot of Westerners have a very rose-tinted optimistic (deluded) view of how countries like Iran actually are.

I agree.

Wintersgirl · 16/02/2025 10:39

Butchyrestingface · 15/02/2025 19:08

NO-ONE, ABSOLUTELY NO-ONE: I wonder if they have travel insurance?

It's invalid if you go against Foreign office advice...

NebulousHog · 16/02/2025 10:40

Not all insurance is invalid - you can still get insurance, specialist insurance + due to the length of their trip they would have needed specialist insurance anyway.

No one should be arrested due to their citizenship.

EdithBond · 16/02/2025 10:43

CeeJay81 · 16/02/2025 10:35

You don't go a country, that's on the don't travel too list and post a load of photos on social media. I don't have Instagram, so no idea what was posted but I'm sure it wasn't hard for the authorities to workout she was r could be on a psychology mission. Which is instant alarm bells to them. The minute they didnt turn up to the hotel, there would have been suspicions about them. I expect anyone from the UK is tracked while there. That's why you are expected to be with a guide. So they did several things that are instant alarm bells to the authorities. Wether you agree with it or not.

It’s vital to have political awareness. Even when travelling with an official guide, if a government can capitalise on bargaining chips, it’s quite possible a government-appointed guide could allow, or even encourage, you to do things you could be charged with. You should be aware of the law and cultural expectations, make your own informed judgement and behave impeccably. Even then, it can be risky. People get stitched up all the time in many countries, often due to corruption or political oppression.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 16/02/2025 10:44

@EdithBond But Foreign Office advice is making you aware of how limited they may be in being able to help you in case of a crisis or emergency. So, it should be taken seriously.

I think if people are wilfully choosing to ignore the foreign office advice then before they are allowed travel there they should have to sign something legally binding to say they won't ask for their help if things go wrong.

Sturnidae · 16/02/2025 10:45

FatAgain · 15/02/2025 16:48

My dads from there and I’d never go near the place - neither would he. Idiots

Exactly the same here. My two aunts used to go back and forth for 6 months at a time, they cut their last trips short a few years ago and have not been back since.

EdithBond · 16/02/2025 10:53

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 16/02/2025 10:44

@EdithBond But Foreign Office advice is making you aware of how limited they may be in being able to help you in case of a crisis or emergency. So, it should be taken seriously.

I think if people are wilfully choosing to ignore the foreign office advice then before they are allowed travel there they should have to sign something legally binding to say they won't ask for their help if things go wrong.

I don’t think we can or should simply abandon our own nationals overseas, however foolhardy or aware of the risks they may have been. But I agree it’s a good idea to insist people sign something to say they’re ignoring official advice and are fully aware of the limited scope our consulate will have to help them. Could be enough to stop them.

Perhaps they should also have to sign to say they’ve read a basic guide to the laws, risks and cultural norms of a country, if very different to our own.

But it’s pretty obvious.

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 16/02/2025 11:05

EdithBond · 16/02/2025 08:31

Imagine the photos won’t have helped. They don’t come across as very respectful.

Plus, one of the news reports says they’d said on their social media they were having to use a vpn, in order to post on social media while there. Pretty sure that’s illegal so why advertise it publicly? It’s like taunting the authorities. Why post anything while there if only planning to be there for a few days?

In another of the photos, she has her hand on what looks like a bottle of beer. Even if taken in a neighbouring Islamic country (she had her head covered), I imagine that won’t have gone down well. Apparent shocking lack of cultural awareness.

Those aren’t necessarily the crimes you think they are.

Firstly, everyone uses a VPN to get round the social media restrictions in Iran. Everyone. It’s completely normal. Secondly, alcohol free beer is freely available. Alcohol is hard to find - I have travelled in Iran (albeit at a time when tourism was encouraged) and did not see alcohol once. It’s very much an underground thing, as far as I understood.

For the poster above who accused her of “grinning like a loon” or whatever, Iran isn’t some dark land where smiling is banned. It is a beautiful country with incredibly hospitable people and we didn’t have any problems from officials while we were there.

But you DO have to play by the rules - it isn’t permitted for women to have their heads uncovered, or to sing and dance in public, you aren’t allowed to sit at the front of a bus and there are different attitudes towards women generally. Did I chafe against that? Yes, but I went there knowing it’s the rules and the price for breaking them can be high. Their biggest problem is that this couple didn’t play by the rules. As a Brit, you must have a guide who is responsible for you at all times - they didn’t do that, according to the BBC article. And you must be aware that bringing yourselves to the attention of the Iranian authorities is not going to go well, particularly at the moment. And travelling against FCO advice, because you believe in the goodness of humanity or something? Fucking idiots.

EdithBond · 16/02/2025 11:08

NebulousHog · 16/02/2025 10:40

Not all insurance is invalid - you can still get insurance, specialist insurance + due to the length of their trip they would have needed specialist insurance anyway.

No one should be arrested due to their citizenship.

Another huge risk is, according to reports, they only got a motorbike licence last year. Even if you’re an experience biker, travelling by motorbike is pretty dangerous and risky in certain locations. Even breakdowns in certain climates, terrains and/or isolated areas, can put you at risk or be very difficult to solve.

ImmediateReaction · 16/02/2025 11:10

PurpleChrayn · 16/02/2025 10:34

A lot of Westerners have a very rose-tinted optimistic (deluded) view of how countries like Iran actually are.

You see thst same rosy tinted glasses view about many middle east countries

Developedanillness · 16/02/2025 11:10

CeeJay81 · 16/02/2025 10:35

You don't go a country, that's on the don't travel too list and post a load of photos on social media. I don't have Instagram, so no idea what was posted but I'm sure it wasn't hard for the authorities to workout she was r could be on a psychology mission. Which is instant alarm bells to them. The minute they didnt turn up to the hotel, there would have been suspicions about them. I expect anyone from the UK is tracked while there. That's why you are expected to be with a guide. So they did several things that are instant alarm bells to the authorities. Wether you agree with it or not.

I presumed that they didn't turn up at the hotel because they'd been arrested at this point?

Probably was the tour guide who turned them in

EdithBond · 16/02/2025 11:14

@GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin I hear what you’re saying. Locals break the law all the time in almost every country. But it can put you at risk of arrest and foreigners can be made an example of. So, not a great idea to publicly advertise it. If a foreign national in UK posted they were planning to break the law, the authorities may well be compelled to act.

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 16/02/2025 11:16

Probably was the tour guide who turned them in

What a horrible thing to say. Tour guides earn very little, work bloody hard and it’s far more likely that he’d have also got into trouble.

Iran isn’t some hellhole where everyone is a Stasi-esque informer Hmm

Cotonsugar · 16/02/2025 11:18

The type of people who like to boast about going off the beaten track when they travel🙄

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 16/02/2025 11:18

EdithBond · 16/02/2025 11:14

@GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin I hear what you’re saying. Locals break the law all the time in almost every country. But it can put you at risk of arrest and foreigners can be made an example of. So, not a great idea to publicly advertise it. If a foreign national in UK posted they were planning to break the law, the authorities may well be compelled to act.

I do agree that they are things that are going to be used against them. If the authorities want to find a reason to accuse them of spying or whatever, these things are going to be presented as “proof”. Take that (relatively minor) risk if you want but don’t then bring yourselves to the authorities’ attention.

EdithBond · 16/02/2025 11:22

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 16/02/2025 11:18

I do agree that they are things that are going to be used against them. If the authorities want to find a reason to accuse them of spying or whatever, these things are going to be presented as “proof”. Take that (relatively minor) risk if you want but don’t then bring yourselves to the authorities’ attention.

I believe it’s illegal to use an unauthorised vpn in Iran and the punishment can include imprisonment. So best not to offer up proof yourself.