Am I wasting my time with him

[ChasingRainbows123]

Nearly a year ago I dated a guy for a few months. Then out of the blue he texted it was over as he couldn't commit to me with his busy work schedule & working away all week.
Never heard from him except the odd message every few months.
Then a few weeks ago he messaged to say he had made a mistake, regretted what he did to me, missed me & wanted to put things right.
He messages every day & it's just general chat.
Then the other day he was on about how he should never of walked away like he did.
I said why have you got back in touch after all this time regretting what you did. What do you actually want from me.
His reply was love & friendship.
What does that mean to you lot on here.
He only wants friendship or friendship leading to more in time.
Is this a red flag with him.
Am I wasting my time with him & should walk away now.
Or is he being genuine & I should give him a chance & see where it goes
Any advice much appreciated.
How others see this looking at it from the outside.
Thanks

Yep

Leave the past where it belongs.

When he was seeing you originally he was seeing somebody else he liked more.

That did not work out so now he is back to you as his back-up plan.

That’s what I get from this.

Ha ha ha!

This was EXACTLY my read of the situation!

You mention you’re still single after it ended with him. Did he know you were still single? Just wondering whether he would have still got in touch with you if you weren’t single? The messaging could be because he’s lonely and bored. Have you met up face to face or is it all texting? Maybe you’re feeling lonely too. If you still have feelings for him, be careful. Don’t let your feelings be trifled with (as my mum used to say). Boomerang blokes prevent you meeting someone else who you wouldn’t have to question their intentions. You will know when it’s the right one. If it were me I would step back and move on to pastures new. Very rarely does it work out getting back together in these situations. When I was younger I wasted 7 years of my life with someone like that. Life’s too short for guys like that screwing with your affections, you deserve better. Listen to your gut instincts. Xx

If you get back with him he will do exactly the same again. Or it could just be a one off shag. I wouldn’t bother.

Yes you’re most likely wasting your time. As you said yourself if he was really in to you he’d have made time and made it work.
It will never work out after a start like this.

I agree with those saying he had a better offer before and now it’s ended he wants you back. Tell him he missed his chance.

You're asking too many questions which give different answers.

He wants an ego boost shag. This is not the love of your life. Block and delete. Maybe send a 😂emoji first.

This.

That's an easy no.

He is playing the field. He'll be with you until someone else comes along that he prefers. Was probably dumped and now trying to get his selfesteem back by using you.

I would ask: What has changed in your life since last time? Have you changed jobs/ got different hours?

It's bs ofcourse, I have never heard of a single man breaking up a relationship because he doesn't got time. It's all about priorities and you weren't one so LTB.

He's single again and fancies a shag.

Time to block his number.

Most likely he met someone else and dropped you for her; now it's over and he thinks it might be worth trying again with you. He hasn't been clear or honest and it sounds a bad deal for you. You're right to be cautious.

What do you want?

Why not reply "what do you mean by love and friendship?" instead of asking strangers on Mumsnet?

A bit honesty from him.
I'm cautious that he's doing what most of you have suggested on here.
That he's only here until someone else comes along & then he will be off again

You are not going to get honesty from him @ChasingRainbows123 .Seriously leave him alone, don't reopen this chapter of your life.

If you do you'll definitely regret it.

so, go with your gut. Trust yourself.

Nope

Men who are really into you don’t break it off because they have busy schedules. They rearrange the schedules to make the time.

He broke it off because he met someone else and now that has ended.

Don’t over analyse his words. He’s unlikely to say ‘I want a FWB because my gf, who I left you for, broke it off with me, and I’m lonely’

I can pretty much guarantee he’ll do the same again if you get back with him.

💐

Of course he isn’t being genuine but he knows you’re an easy one to pick up where he left you. You’ll go along with it and then he will be off again.

How right you all were on here.
Chatting everyday for weeks. Him telling me he regretted what he did to me last time. Wanted to meet up & put things right with us to how they were. Realised he had made a mistake. Wanted to try again.
Every weekend he was going to meet up & every Thursday/Friday the excuse came. He was tired after working away all week to drive to meet up. I offered to drive 10 mins from him.
The chatting continued everyday & it was nice messages.
Then out the blue I get a message saying you forget about me & I'll forget about you.
Sorry for wasting your time all these years & sorry for getting back in touch.
Then he blocked me.
No idea what happened or what I did.
I should of listened to you all weeks ago & blocked him & walked away.
Now I'm left hurt & confused by him.

I had this sort of thing as well. I was stupid to try again with him.

Lucky escape though. Sorry you feel hurt.

Oh I had one of these years ago before meeting dh.
They have major issues. He's probably doing it to a few. Needs his ego massaging with all the attention. No intention to commit.

@ChasingRainbows123 you dodged a bullet.