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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this upset / annoy you?

44 replies

Molly2008 · 15/02/2025 11:14

Context:

I got some new black jeans and my mum admired them and asked for the link to get some. Ordered a pair and the didn't fit. Then returned and ordered a different pair 3 x the price which I complemented her on. She said they were cheaper than mine in the sale end of. Few days later I get this:

I forgot to ask you before I send them back if you wanted to try the black jeans I ordered from reiss. It’s a size 10, but a little too big for me. They are exactly like the one I was wearing last Sunday

What would your reaction be?!

OP posts:
DreamW3aver · 15/02/2025 11:17

Well it depends on whether I'm interested in having a second pair of similar trousers so either yes please or no, thanks I don't need a second pair

On even, I'm not a size 10 so no good for me

Togglebullets · 15/02/2025 11:17

I mean, if she's slimmer than me I'd be fine with that and probably try them if I liked them.

If we were very obviously the same size or I was obviously slimmer and she had a history of being weird about my weight I'd feel got at I suppose.

littlekipling · 15/02/2025 11:18

I'd think my mum wanted me to have some jeans that don't fit her but may fit me. She also might not be bothered to go through returns process and thought simpler if you just have them

Changingplace · 15/02/2025 11:20

I’d think do I want to try on these jeans or not since I’ve already got some very similar ones.

I wouldn’t really think it’s a big deal to even think about, bit of a non event really.

Original poster
Molly2008 · 15/02/2025 11:22

Thanks all I think I'm being over sensitive we are quite clearly the same size or I am slightly slimmer.

Needed a head wobble

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 15/02/2025 11:22

I'd want to try on the jeans. What is there to be upset about?

Sheknowsaboutme · 15/02/2025 11:24

What???

jeez. You’re lucky if this is what bothers you

UpUpUpU · 15/02/2025 11:24

I’m really confused what there is to be upset about?

LillyPJ · 15/02/2025 11:24

Isn't she just giving you the chance to try them before the bother of sending them back? I wouldn't think any more than that.

Togglebullets · 15/02/2025 11:25

Molly2008 · 15/02/2025 11:22

Thanks all I think I'm being over sensitive we are quite clearly the same size or I am slightly slimmer.

Needed a head wobble

Does she have a history of having a go at you about your weight? You can be slimmer or the same size but be a different shape. Unless this is part of a pattern it doesn't mean she's trying to put you down.

repellingmnvipers · 15/02/2025 11:26

Just reply that if the jeans are too big for her then they will be likely to be too big for you also.

Mumsntfan1 · 15/02/2025 11:27

Molly2008 · 15/02/2025 11:22

Thanks all I think I'm being over sensitive we are quite clearly the same size or I am slightly slimmer.

Needed a head wobble

Even if you're the same size they might just sit better on you due to your body shape.

Spirallingdownwards · 15/02/2025 11:28

I would think she is actually sending back the ones she wore and knows they will be able to tell they are worn so wants you to pay for her expensive jeans she no longer wants. Are you sure they are a different pair and not the ones she was wearing?

Completelyjo · 15/02/2025 11:28

I honestly don’t understand what you’re annoyed about?

Changingplace · 15/02/2025 11:31

Molly2008 · 15/02/2025 11:22

Thanks all I think I'm being over sensitive we are quite clearly the same size or I am slightly slimmer.

Needed a head wobble

Do you think she’s implying you’re not? What does it even matter? She’s saying they’re too big for her (so probably too big for you too?), but try them if you want?

Yeah I think you’re being over sensitive here.

Cnf1 · 15/02/2025 11:38

My sister offered me her black jeans that she wore home from the hospital after giving birth to her third child. They were a size 10 but didn't fit her a month later. I laughed and happily took them and enjoyed telling any admirers of them that they were my sister's post-partum pants and that she offered them to me because she knew she'd never be that 'big' again! I just thought of it as a funny faux-pas! I get a weird kick out of people putting their foot in it! Don't take things too seriously if you know the intention isn't unkind; you're the only one who'll suffer.

Pigeonqueen · 15/02/2025 11:47

littlekipling · 15/02/2025 11:18

I'd think my mum wanted me to have some jeans that don't fit her but may fit me. She also might not be bothered to go through returns process and thought simpler if you just have them

This. Unless there’s a massive weight backstory I wouldn’t even think anything of it. Size 10s (or any size) are different in every brand anyway!

SlovenlyOldSlut · 15/02/2025 11:59

Seriously? She’s offering you a pair of size 10 jeans and you think she’s calling you fat?!

Want to swap your “problem” for one of my real ones?

dudsville · 15/02/2025 12:02

It's ok if this bothered you, but it's not overtly rude, so your feelings about it say something more about some deeper aspect of your feelings towards your mother or yourself.

Dolambslikemintsauce · 15/02/2025 12:06

A bit of upmanship? She got hers cheaper and she is thinner? My dm would do this... As a teen (whilst I was obviously still growing) dm would regularly whip out a tape measure and measure my thighs against hers... She had to be thinner... She had been anorexic I now know.... When I divorced I was a size 6 and 6 stone. Her mh occurred to me . Wasn't great obviously then either.. Is your dm OK op? I am nc with mine. Very needy and unmanageable...

Loveduppenguin · 15/02/2025 12:11

UpUpUpU · 15/02/2025 11:24

I’m really confused what there is to be upset about?

This!! I’ve literally read it all about 5 times to try to understand what there is to be upset about. With all due respect @Molly2008 i don’t see why you are reading too much into this? Why are you so sensitive over your size compared to your mum?

PinkPonyClub25 · 15/02/2025 12:13

I'd not give it a seconds thought, strange thing to get worked up about either you want to try the jeans on or you don't?

JC03745 · 15/02/2025 12:19

I'm still utterly confused! If you were a size 6 or 26, then I could see you might be upset, but have no idea what you are offended about when you are the same size? 😕

CandyCane457 · 15/02/2025 12:19

To answer the question in your title: no it would absolutely not upset or annoy me. There is literally nothing there to get upset over.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 15/02/2025 12:20

UpUpUpU · 15/02/2025 11:24

I’m really confused what there is to be upset about?

This.

I feel this is why I struggle with some people who are eternally offended. I really can't see the issue here at all