I am currently on mat leave and took redundancy from my job. I was given a payout and knew for some time last year that this was happening. Myself and partner have always wanted to take the kids to Disneyland and the money I’ve received has finally made this an option. We are a family of 6, 11 yr old boy (from 12 he’s classed as an adult at Disney so this is part of the reason this year is the best to go for us) 9 yr old boy, 5 yr old boy (stepson he comes on weekends etc) and almost 1 baby girl. We will all be going to Disney.
a few months ago I mentioned to my mum that we were looking to go to Disney. It was in passing we didn’t speak too much about it. The next time I see her she says she has been speaking to my sister and her partner (they have a baby who has some health issues) and she said they’re feeling like they need something to look forward to and want to all go on holiday together. I thought it was strange timing and she said we should all go to Disney. I said I didn’t think my sister would want to due to babies age and health issues (we would drive to Disney it’s 5 hrs) she said they would look at other things. She said she’d booked off work for a week and the week she has booked off is the week my partner is on call at work. I said to her it’s very unlikely we could do that week and that’s the only week she can do due to work commitments. I also said I’m not sure what we can afford as I’m not working.
anyway we have now booked Disney and I’ve told my mum I’m sorry but we won’t be able to afford to go away on top of that. Disney’s pretty expensive and going somewhere else in the UK even for a weekend with 6 of us is going to be really stressful financially for us. I do feel especially guilty on my sister because I know they’ve had a stressful year and would be looking forward to us going. I’ve said we can deffo plan some cheaper days out. My mum has taken this really badly and basically said my priories are wrong and that I’ve upset her (my mum)etc. she’s been pretty personal tbh. No other family members like my partners family have reacted this way. The week she has off we can’t even do anyway I reminded her of.
I’d also like to add I was a single mum for quite some time and so have never been able to take my children on a holiday outside of the uk, aside from a family one when they were small. I’ve struggled financially and know how stressful that can be so wouldn’t want to put pressure on myself to be able to afford two holidays we can barely afford this one and I was super proud of myself that i could do this for them. It means a lot to me.
I do tend to distance myself from my mum because she does tend to react this way over things and I find it draining. She currently has a big thing about wanting to decorate our house we’ve just moved into which I’ve said no a few times but she still continues to ask, and she also turns up at the house unannounced so i think she has issues with boundaries maybe so I tend to try and avoid anything with her anyway. it also puts a strain on my partners relationship with her because he doesn’t agree with how she behaves and how it affects me which again makes it even less likely we would do a holiday with her.
I’m wondering if anyone else has had to say no to a family get together etc before and how to navigate things going forward as I’m getting to a point where I don’t really want to speak to her but would still like my children to have a relationship with her because they would be upset with this.
thanks sorry it’s a long read!