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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is diabolical?

79 replies

ChaosAndToast · 14/02/2025 12:27

I have a child whose 4 and they are starting school in September - they have a rare genetic disorder, autism, GDD (currently mentality has been scored between 12-15m) hypermobility and low muscle tone.

He can't walk but is mobile, he walks around on his knees or crawls. Refuses to use walking aids as becomes very distress. He is limited verbal, he can communicate his basic needs (want drink), he isn't potty trained and doesn't understand when he needs to be or knows he needs to be, he has social and emotional needs - he still struggles every morning going to nursery and keeps away from everyone and everything, no awareness of danger - you get the picture.

He has an EHCP.

The local authority have decided he's absolutely fine to attend a mainstream school, one we visited and well, they had a lot of stairs and the headteacher made it very clear he wouldn't be able to support my child in any capacity.

I know it's a money thing and everyone's struggling but it's so shit. I have no idea how my child is going to cope.

OP posts:
User7288339 · 14/02/2025 12:29

It's awful, you will have to go down the appeal route.
Lots of info online about it, sadly parents of SEN children have to become experts in the system 😞

username299 · 14/02/2025 12:29

Can you contact Scope or the National Autistic Society for advice.

SnuffleTruffleHound · 14/02/2025 12:29

You need to appeal the ehc and get a specialist school named.
speak to ipsea if you need help.

FrannyScraps · 14/02/2025 12:31

Well you wouldn't send him would you? I'd appeal and look at private funding a more appropriate setting for him.

Good luck.

Merrygoround8 · 14/02/2025 12:31

Places aren’t confirmed until April, so are the local authority saying he “could” be fine to go to a mainstream school and not supporting one better suited to his needs? Where did you apply and what supporting docs were sent? Surely this must be a mistake from the Local Authority…..

Merrygoround8 · 14/02/2025 12:34

Also was this also your thread? Sorry and hope you get more helpful responses soon x

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5249266-to-think-the-local-authority-can-shove-it-up-somewhere?

Original poster
ChaosAndToast · 14/02/2025 12:35

Merrygoround8 · 14/02/2025 12:31

Places aren’t confirmed until April, so are the local authority saying he “could” be fine to go to a mainstream school and not supporting one better suited to his needs? Where did you apply and what supporting docs were sent? Surely this must be a mistake from the Local Authority…..

It's not a mistake - they confirm school places for children with an EHCP today.

I sent everything, he has an EHCP so multiple professions are involved like a neuro paediatrician, speech and language, physiotherapy, OT, educational psychologist, SENCO etc all detailing his needs.

It's definitely not a mistake, just a shit reality SEN parents seem to have to go through.

I'm speaking to Sendias about appealing so hopefully we can sort it out but I just feel - not great.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChaosAndToast · 14/02/2025 12:36

Merrygoround8 · 14/02/2025 12:34

Also was this also your thread? Sorry and hope you get more helpful responses soon x

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5249266-to-think-the-local-authority-can-shove-it-up-somewhere?

Oh thank you!

I knew that had some helpful responses but couldn't find it.

I'll revisit it.

OP posts:
babyproblems · 14/02/2025 12:39

Sending you a handhold- this sounds so hard xox

Butteredtoast55 · 14/02/2025 12:42

Fight, fight, fight OP. You know this isn't in his best interests and I am sure the school do too but the agenda for many LAs is to place children with very complex needs into unsuitable mainstream settings. It is much less expensive than a specialist place (and these are extremely limited) but it places an enormous pressure on schools to fulfil such high levels of need. I have to say that in primary schools such as mine we have been expected to admit children with similar needs to your child, even more complex in fact, and we have to do it and do the very best job we can for the child whilst jumping through hoop after hoop, struggling to recruit staff capable of working with such children and plundering already stretched resources.
Speak to IPSEA, speak to the school's SENDCO to ask their advice on how to push back. To be honest, September isn't far away and it's likely he will at least have to start at the mainstream settings now, but work with the SENDCO to achieve what's best for your son. Good luck!

ChloeCannotCanCan · 14/02/2025 12:42

Oh that sounds so hard and so unfair - sending you strength for the fight x

StrivingForSleep · 14/02/2025 13:35

Appeal. Do it ASAP. What are B & F like? You should consider appealing them too because the placement in I is the logical conclusion of B&F. Be careful with SENDIASS. Some are good but too many repeat the LA’s unlawful policies.

Places aren’t confirmed until April

@Merrygoround8 OP’s DS has an EHCP so this isn’t true. Phase transfer EHCPs must be finalised by the 15th Feb.

Genandthecats · 14/02/2025 14:01

Appeal it but I warn you the fight sadly never stops but you will become an expert

The eduction system is absolutely awful for SEN children, my daughter was refused a place in a SEMH unit even though she was getting suspended and had shown the same extreme behaviour since reception

She did finally get a place but that was all because of a fantastic SENCO who worked really hard to update her EHCP with the the behavioural needs so the LA couldn't refuse her a place honestly they don't see what's in front of the eyes it's all about whether the EHCP is worded correctly, money and luck!

I paid for an Advocate but again that is risky because anyone can do it, I used FB groups for support and IPSEA

Sorry for my rant and good luck!

Original poster
ChaosAndToast · 14/02/2025 14:13

So on the EHCP they've said he needs 1:1 support, extensive therapy etc but then have no allocated any funding for him so I guess that's fun.

I've rung the school they've named and they are genuinely confused and have no idea why they've been named as they said they can't meet his needs in the consultation.

I'm going to appeal it, I just genuinely don't understand.

OP posts:
Catslovingoliveoil · 14/02/2025 14:18

I know it has been recommended above but I'd also say contact IPSEA asap. At the very least they have templates for appealing, but I'm sure they'd give you good advice too.

pastapeteliketoeat · 14/02/2025 14:19

@ChaosAndToast Contact your local SENDIASS service (every area has one). Also contact IPSEA, and set up a call where someone can advise you.

Here is the info on how to appeal a placement

www.ipsea.org.uk/Handlers/Download.ashx?IDMF=b7de95a4-479c-4b2d-9a1b-5a9e93f734e2

TipsyJoker · 14/02/2025 14:39

ChaosAndToast · 14/02/2025 12:27

I have a child whose 4 and they are starting school in September - they have a rare genetic disorder, autism, GDD (currently mentality has been scored between 12-15m) hypermobility and low muscle tone.

He can't walk but is mobile, he walks around on his knees or crawls. Refuses to use walking aids as becomes very distress. He is limited verbal, he can communicate his basic needs (want drink), he isn't potty trained and doesn't understand when he needs to be or knows he needs to be, he has social and emotional needs - he still struggles every morning going to nursery and keeps away from everyone and everything, no awareness of danger - you get the picture.

He has an EHCP.

The local authority have decided he's absolutely fine to attend a mainstream school, one we visited and well, they had a lot of stairs and the headteacher made it very clear he wouldn't be able to support my child in any capacity.

I know it's a money thing and everyone's struggling but it's so shit. I have no idea how my child is going to cope.

He probably won’t cope. This is why I home educate my ASN child I’m afraid. Schools can’t meet their needs.

StrivingForSleep · 14/02/2025 14:40

Look at the wording of the 1:1, therapies and other provision in section F very carefully. Is it detailed, specified and quantified? Or is it vague and woolly with wording such as “access to”, “or equivalent”, “opportunities for”, “as appropriate”, “would benefit from”, “regular”, “up to”, “would be useful/helpful”, “such as”, “as required”, “as advised”, “key adult(s)”? Lots of people don’t realise the wording is vague and woolly until they need to try to enforce provision. Vague and woolly wording is unenforceable and makes it more likely your preferred placement won’t be named because B+F=I.

TipsyJoker · 14/02/2025 14:42

ChaosAndToast · 14/02/2025 14:13

So on the EHCP they've said he needs 1:1 support, extensive therapy etc but then have no allocated any funding for him so I guess that's fun.

I've rung the school they've named and they are genuinely confused and have no idea why they've been named as they said they can't meet his needs in the consultation.

I'm going to appeal it, I just genuinely don't understand.

Get this confirmed in writing/email by the school to add to your appeal.

Puddlewoman · 14/02/2025 15:05

You are going to have to be stubborn I'm sorry and its likely you will have this fight every year now until they are out of education.

1st tip get everything in writing they will promise you the earth to get you off the phone and they very rarely deliver.
If they do phone confirm all theyve said with a follow up email.

2nd tip squeaky wheel gets the grease, give people 24 hours to reply to you then follow up then if still no reply call them.

3rd get yourself a list of people up the chain you want your ehcp person, their manager, then you want your CSFL councillor then there is your mp, the department for education.All these people are responsible for ensuring your child gets the education they have a right to. work your way up the chain when you cant get anywhere with the current person.

As of now get school to email you stating they cant meet needs.
search for schools you think will be suitable, and then email ehcp people and tell them you want to try these schools.

TiredMummma · 14/02/2025 19:09

Is there a reason why you wouldn't delay for a year? Especially as they don't need to legally be in school?

Original poster
ChaosAndToast · 14/02/2025 19:11

TiredMummma · 14/02/2025 19:09

Is there a reason why you wouldn't delay for a year? Especially as they don't need to legally be in school?

Then we'll be in the same position next year ?

He's 5 in January so I can keep in nursery until next April and then he'll have nothing between April and September and then we'll probably have to appeal and go to court then so I don't know what the benefit would be really.

OP posts:
elliejjtiny · 14/02/2025 19:39

Yanbu. I am going through similar myself as I have a year 6 child who has autism, pica and is emotionally like a 3 year old. He will hopefully be ok in mainstream with a load of interventions that the LA agree he needs but are refusing to fund.

SleepToad · 14/02/2025 20:03

Personally I'd be emailing to my mp and county councillor. Plus I would contact the council and Ask to meet the head of education and take my child. I would also personally contact the local press and inform all of the above I had.

I had an uncle who was refused planning permission to develop a barn on his land...so he chained his kids to the council office, contacted the press and said " I'm not allowed to house them so the council can". The press discovered that a member of the council lived near and didn't want his view spoilt as my uncle knew! He got permission....sometimes you need to be ruthless

Newyearsametroubles · 14/02/2025 20:08

Appeal. Go to tribunal. Parents pretty much always win at tribunals because LAs don’t follow the law. It will be stressful but if there is a school you believe will suit him then absolutely fight for it.