To think you can still achieve things even if your progress is slower ? AIBU to find my friend's comment very rude ?

[PoppyMeadows]

My friend's child and my child have been attending the same swimming classes for years since they were about 4/5. It was to give them some basic life skills and so they can spend time together (they go to different schools). The kids are now 8 and a few months back her child progressed to the next more advanced stage and mine was left in the current swim group. They recently introduced swimming galas in our local swimming pool but only kids from her childs group and older are allowed to compete. Yesterday, my friend made a weird comment that one cannot become a competitive swimmer if at the age of 9 they are still not swimming full length /not competing and asked if I had considered any other sports for my child.

AIBU to think you can still improve and catch up at this age in sports with the right coaching and even if not, these expectations are not healthy for children ?

You’re talking bobbins too. If a child has had swimming lessons for 4 years and still cannot swim a full length then they are never going to be a competitive swimmer. Honesty is the best policy.

Did she mean the gala is a competition so that’s why kids in the lower class aren’t able to participate, as they aren’t at that stage yet, which to be honest, seems fair. I’m sure your kid will move up and then can compete in galas if this is what your child wishes.

OP, this woman is technically probably correct. The question is do you care? Does your child want to be a competitive swimmer? If not, it's a moot point anyway.

My daughter did gymnastics. She had a natural aptitude but was pushed into competing by the club before she was ready for that pressure and completely lost interest and her confidence.

I found her a different club that was less focused on competing but there was also less focus on teaching skills amd progressing and the children didn't have as much natural aptitude so it was a slower pace and she wasn't happy with that. Then covid hit, clubs closed and then she was into GCSEs and A Levels.and it felt less important to her so she stopped altogether.

Anyway, she's now at university. Joined a competitive team there and training to coach others when she gets into the 2nd and 3rd years has already been discussed.

She'll never be a professional but neither does she want to be. She's followed her own path and is quite happy with that.

Fortunately, I don't value my own worth through my children's successes like some so I was happy for her to find her own way.

If your child doesn't want to be a competitive swimmer but enjoys swimming, does it matter?

I have a different perspective. I think it's really healthy for kids to learn that, sometimes, however hard you try, others are better than you and that's ok

IMHO, there's too much focus on wanting ti be the best at everything and it's not healthy. We all have different skills and talents