AIBU to consider giving birth alone?

[mumofboysinlondon]

I am pregnant with my third child, two existing kids are 1.5 and 4.

My problem is - what do I do with my kids when I give birth?

Family support is either non-existent, too elderly or too far away to be helpful.

We live in an area of London where people tend to move on quickly and sadly we’ve lost our really good local friends in the past couple of years. We have acquaintances, but no one I’d ask to take my kids in the middle of the night, if it came to it.

I’m planning a home birth and my hope is either the kids will be out at childcare or it will happen overnight (and quickly) so they won’t know anything about it. This is what happened with #2 so no problems.

At this stage I think it would be less stressful to plan for my husband not to be there. I just have no idea what we’ll do if the kids are at home and I need to go to hospital.

Anyone else ever done this/ in the same boat?

Thank you so much everyone for all your kind and reassuring replies. I felt like I was the only person in this situation and I’m so pleased to hear other similar experiences. You’re all very lovely.

To clarify a few things: there are potentially a few paid-for babysitting options we could look into but it’s the unpredictable element that I was worried about - no point in booking someone obviously as no idea when the baby will decide to arrive!

Also I don’t want it to be traumatic or unsettling for my other kids - I’d rather they were with my husband and I was alone, than they were with someone random.

I have had two previous speedy home births so hoping for the same.

To those suggesting my husband is useless - he was a bit of a spare part previously haha. I had fantastic midwives both times and to be honest, it was lovely having my husband there for the actual moment of birth but he did very little to help, of course. I’d also feel slightly bad for him missing it, but I’m not sure he feels as emotional about it as I do. I should say though that he is absolutely fantastic and supportive, that’s not in doubt for those who were confused.

Thanks again all - I feel so much better.

I had my DS3 alone, it was fine
We had childcare arranged but labour progressed quickly during the night and I had to be blue lighted in.
Had him 7 minutes after arriving at hospital.
Honestly if it comes to it, you'll be ok and your only focus at the time will be getting the baby out.
I was back home by lunchtime!

It is worth considering then at least you've a plan unless something changes at the last minute minute and your husband can be with you .
Our sitter fell through when I was giving birth to my daughter so my husband has to wait until reinforcements could look after our son .
To be honest it was fine I had a lovely midwife that totally supported me through the birth and my husband rocked up about 10 minutes after the birth .
It is difficult if you've no family support but it is doable and it's really not that bad not having your husband there ,it's probably going to be easier for you knowing he's looking after your other children .

In your shoes I'd be asking your paid for option babysitters what they think re availability for being called to cover your labour.
I would think most could cover you, it's a big event, if you are lucky enough to have a supportive husband who can advocate for you if needed and to be by your side then I don't know why you wouldn't want that?

I don't have any free childcare, I have to pay babysitters all the time if I want to have any medical appointments/dentist etc, I think putting your hand in you pocket for a birth would be a no brainer!

There's no need for your husband to be present and if it's more convenient that he looks after DC that's fine.

NB your post title suggests that you intend giving birth without any attendants, which might get you some unexpected answers! Might get MN to amend?