Does this indicate any atypical behaviour

[Vittoria2512]

Hi everyone . My DD just turned 2 a week ago . I highly suspect she is on the mild side of the spectrum or ADHD . I live in the Uk and we don’t have levels here .
She doesn’t have issues communicating her needs and can answer what’s, where’s , who’s simple questions . She has good joint attention and good receptive and expressive language for a 2 year old . She can put 2/3 words together that are spontaneous but she still uses single words .
She sleeps like a champ and rarely has a tantrum ( if she does it doesn’t last more than 10 minutes ) .

Understands “Come here” and “Sit down”
• Identifies several body parts
• Follows 2 step commands during play
• Understands some early prepositions she understands on )
• Finds familiar objects not in sight
• Chooses familiar objects from a group on request
• Understands familiar action words
• Attends to and identifies familiar pictures
She loves pulling faces in the mirror

What has concerned me for a while now it’s the following list .

• Always the need to carry objects in her hand
• She doesn’t like dirt on hands but doesn’t mind playing with mud and sand
• Struggling in social settings like coffee shops , she shakes and gets excited and doesn’t stay still
• Anxious around her peers but always tries to fit in
• When meeting a new person she starts using jargon and singing nursery rhymes.
• Toe walking

Now , I have expresses these concerns with the GP and HV on multiple occasions . In November , the HV put a referral for the community paediatrician forward and a couple of weeks ago we got a text saying that our application was rejected on the basis that’s this is typical development and we should continue to expose her to social settings .
My hands are tied at the moment short of going private as I am the only one who thinks this is atypical . It is causing a lot of friction with my husband and family and I am starting to doubt my own mind .
I realise she is very young but I’d like to hear from any parents who can give me any advice or point me in the right direction ☺️.

Sounds fairly normal to me.

No concerns from me. How do you know she is anxious? She is not able to express it at that age. What "jargon" is she using?

What jargon does a 2 year old use?

Other than that the rest sounds fairly normal to me

What is it with all these threads recently saying similar? It's like parents want their DC to have a problem. She's just turned 2, she sounds totally normal

She sounds like a totally normal two year old.

No completely normal. Just let her be.

This is the third thread you have started today under different names. Your threads indicate you are concerned and anxious about DD, so you should speak to the GP. However, much of what you list is entirely typical of some toddlers.

Sounds pretty normal and maybe has a bit of anxiety. Which I’m guessing she picks up from you.

Have you read about schema ( normal patterns of play) which would explain the carrying ( transporting, possibly).

https://www.myteachingcupboard.com/blog/a-guide-to-play-schemas-in-early-childhood-education

https://www.onehundredtoys.com/understanding-schema-play-in-toddlers/

Jargon meaning gibberish when she tries to talk fast or pretending to be on the phone .

@Vittoria2512
'Jargon meaning gibberish when she tries to talk fast or pretending to be on the phone .'
This is quite a normal stage of language development and isn't jargon it's just she hasn't developed the full vocabulary she needs for these situations yet.

The reason why I worry is that she was never able to sit still for toddler groups activity whether it was story time or circle time

Of course she can't sit still - she's two!

I understand your point and I agree that age comes a lot into play but I know that there are kids younger than her or her age that can do it and all that u have read is that it is a huge red flag for ADHD .

You’ve described a typically developing two year old. As you have been told by multiple posters, and medical professionals. You need urgent support with your health anxiety. Make a GP appointment and take a list of ALL the threads you have started, professionals you have consulted, friends you have spoken to about your concerns. Explain that you aren’t able to relax about you dds development and ask them for help.

So stop reading Honestly, you had multiple professionals say it's normal, you have strangers on the internet telling you it's normal and you have your own family who also don't see the issue. The problem here is clearly your own anxiety (which you need to address separately with your own GP)
Who knows what she doesn't and doesn't have. Is it currently stopping her from functioning? No. That's all that matters.

Ok, look at it another way.
If she has……. There’s not much you can do that you aren’t already doing, just keeping her stimulation to levels she can cope with etc….. she’s two, let her be two, let her grow and develop . And what will be will be
You’re realistically not going to medicate her!!

That all sounds fairly normal.
At that age, my DS refused to sit still for any toddler class and was uninterested in the other children as well as the music and games they played and just wanted to check out the environment. I was really envious of the other mums who got a bit of a sit down and break. At a few points, I wondered if he had developmental issues, so I get where you're coming from. He doesn't, and this seems to be part of his personality.

I think all you can do is wait it out and note your concerns. There is nothing preventing you from using strategies to support her if you think it would be helpful.

Even if her development is different to the majority of children it doesn't mean anything will get done/treated at her age.

You need to stop worrying about it. Especially as she's so young and many people have told you the exact same thing.

I agree with the other poster who said you're the one with a problem here. You need peace to enjoy your child. You're giving yourself anxiety.

It's too much. You need to stop.

If you are unable to stop stressing and looking for signs of things that are wrong or different you need medical help yourself.

definitely too young to tell based on what you’ve said. But I’d be putting money on typical behaviour at this stage.

Honestly, the toe walking is the thing I'd try to do something about as it can become habitual and lead to a shortening of the Achilles tendon.

Reminders to walk on flat feet and maybe have a podiatrist have a look.

As people (including me) have said on a number of similar threads, lots of behaviours linked to ADHD and ASD are entirely normal development and are only a cause for concern when they persist outside the normal age range.

Everything you describe is normal for a 2 year old.

They all use jargon because they can't yet speak like adults and jargon is them pretending to speak quickly and fluently like we do. If she's still doing it at 4-5, it might be a concern.

Like many of the other professionals on your threads, i am more concerned about your need to pathologise your child's entirely normal development.

And, to be completely honest, if she does have mild ADHD, there will be absolutely nothing you can do except manage the behaviour through usual strategies.

@Vittoria2512 I have a feeling you're not going to listen to anything anyone here tells you about your DD's behaviour.

She's two years old. Absolutely nothing you describe is even remotely abnormal for a two year old.

As others have said, it sounds like normal 2 year old behaviour. The only thing that I would address and keep an eye on is the toe walking.
I have no idea if you've started various similar threads under different names but if you have, I'd suggest you see your GP about your anxiety.

There isn’t a ‘mild end of the spectrum’, but what you’re describing here is within the realms of typical 2 year old development. Is there any immediate familial links to autism or adhd? If a parent has (or highly suspects) they are ND then it may be something to keep an eye on. Is she going to nursery? Staff are usually well versed in what is not typical development and come from an independent view. Any concerns can also be discussed with an HV, has she had her 2.5 review?

Do you have other children or lots of experience dealing with children OP?

Sometimes there are tells that experienced people pick out fairly early on. But there is always more than one, it’s a pattern of behaviour that becomes obvious.

A child I know flaps their hands when excited. Another has sensory issues around socks. Neither are autistic, nowhere even close, even though you see both these sort of ‘traits’ linked with autism.

Your child is very young and you will need to wait and see I think. These things become much more obvious as they grow, they become atypical for their developmental stage. Agree with pp to ask nursery staff to keep an eye on her. Try not to worry, she’s your beautiful child in any case.