Does this indicate any atypical behaviour

[Vittoria2512]

Hi everyone . My DD just turned 2 a week ago . I highly suspect she is on the mild side of the spectrum or ADHD . I live in the Uk and we don’t have levels here .
She doesn’t have issues communicating her needs and can answer what’s, where’s , who’s simple questions . She has good joint attention and good receptive and expressive language for a 2 year old . She can put 2/3 words together that are spontaneous but she still uses single words .
She sleeps like a champ and rarely has a tantrum ( if she does it doesn’t last more than 10 minutes ) .

Understands “Come here” and “Sit down”
• Identifies several body parts
• Follows 2 step commands during play
• Understands some early prepositions she understands on )
• Finds familiar objects not in sight
• Chooses familiar objects from a group on request
• Understands familiar action words
• Attends to and identifies familiar pictures
She loves pulling faces in the mirror

What has concerned me for a while now it’s the following list .

• Always the need to carry objects in her hand
• She doesn’t like dirt on hands but doesn’t mind playing with mud and sand
• Struggling in social settings like coffee shops , she shakes and gets excited and doesn’t stay still
• Anxious around her peers but always tries to fit in
• When meeting a new person she starts using jargon and singing nursery rhymes.
• Toe walking

Now , I have expresses these concerns with the GP and HV on multiple occasions . In November , the HV put a referral for the community paediatrician forward and a couple of weeks ago we got a text saying that our application was rejected on the basis that’s this is typical development and we should continue to expose her to social settings .
My hands are tied at the moment short of going private as I am the only one who thinks this is atypical . It is causing a lot of friction with my husband and family and I am starting to doubt my own mind .
I realise she is very young but I’d like to hear from any parents who can give me any advice or point me in the right direction ☺️.

Hi so not anyone in either my husband’s or my family has been diagnosed with ADHD or not showing any traits . She is not in nursery as I am SAHM . She had her 2.5 review already and she is all in white in the ASQ questionnaire apart from the fact that she is not good at holding a cup and drinking from it . She had the social emotional questionnaire as well as she scores 10 . I think the cut off point in the uk is 65 but not sure .

Then I kindly advise you not look for traits that are so far not presenting themselves. Even as a stay at home mum, I’d start looking into nursery or a preschool. It will give you space to not be in ‘mum mode’ all the time (something I am very guilty of myself, and mine go to school and spend one night a week at their dad’s!), and if there is any genuine developmental concerns they will be picked up on.

I think you may have posted about this a few times where the advice has always been the same. Even if your child has ASD/adhd, intensely looking for traits at this age will not help you or her. You’ve done everything right so far, so give yourself a break.

Even if she does have ADHD what good will a diagnosis do now? You can't even get one as you say, she's too young. You are just causing stress on yourself and tension in your marriage for something you can't change. The reason you can't diagnose someone as young as her is because most of what you say is normal child behaviour.

I'd say let her be, enjoy her, love her and it's highly likely this will all be normal development as other posters and said and the referral response has said.

And then, at the age at which it can be determined, if she is still showing signs, get her assessed.

You're just causing yourself stress and anxiety.

My DS is autistic. There were signs from birth with sensory issues, but it's only because those things continued, alongside new signs that also continued past the age they were appropriate for that they meant anything if you see what I mean?

Your DD sounds fine for a two year old.