Dragging myself through life

[Puttheneedleontheracket95]

At the moment. Not sure what’s going on, but don’t remember feeling this low in a long time, anyone the same?

Any tips/small things to keep going/that make you feel better?

I feel much better when I make myself go out into nature for a walk with the dog and family. Most of the time it all seems an effort at the moment

How to get that spark back?

Following because I'm knackered and life seems shit.

It's seasonal. I always find February worse than January because you feel that winter should be over already, and yet here we are. I always feel better around mid March. Would it be possible to book yourself a holiday? That's what I'm doing this year. I've booked myself one for early March and another for late May, and then will likely have another end of year. It doesn't have to be for very long, just a few days of some sunshine can work wonders.

I feel like this at the moment too. Turns out I have low iron levels. Could it be something like that for you? Pretty sure I’m hitting perimenopause too which probably doesn’t help.

Me - menopause, can’t have HRT, live alone, WFH.

I highly recommend taking a strong dose of vitamin D. I used to feel like that every winter and it got worse as the winter progressed. Then about 4 years ago I started taking 4000IU (100mcg) of Vit D3 daily (this is considered to be the safe upper limit) from October to March and I've felt so much better.

One of the years, a pharmacist friend told me I didn't need to take so much, so I took less and the depression came right back.

It takes a couple of weeks for build up in your system so don't expect immediate results, it doesn't mean it's not working.

I am also barely holding on. But it’s probably because I’m breastfeeding and so my hormones are wonky.

Same. I'm pretty sure mine is hormonal. Today is my day off and I have no plans other than to sit on the sofa and maybe watch TV. So many things that I could be doing but just don't have it in me. I do have days where I get things done and maybe later today might have a wave of enthusiasm.. but yes it's an effort.
I hope spring makes a difference.
I'm also going to get a blood test just to make sure no deficiency of anything (I almost hope there is!!)

You're jot perimenopausal, are you? It's quite common to feel very flat during the perimenopause. Everything seems like a big effort! If not, perhaps you're depressed.

I agree. Since my kids have all got over 18 I’m struggling to see the point of my life now, but not in a depressive way. I don’t seem to have a purpose beyond cooking and cleaning now.

I could have written this OP. My advice is : do more of what makes you feel better - more of those walks in nature. If you possibly can, I realise it may not be that simple. If you have a garden, even just a 5 minute mooch out there might help : look up at the sky, hear the sounds, see what the plants are doing, even if it’s just which weeds are growing in the lawn!

I also tell myself it’s temporary, I do think these spells are quite normal, and possibly they have a purpose in terms of letting us rest and reflect.

I hope you feel better soon. Try to make sure you’re eating well too. I know that goes awry with me when I’m like this.

Yoga.
Gym.
Good diet helps.
1/2 drinks a week max.
Evening class or social group (wild swim or something).
Really early nights.
Walking in nature, even 10 mins in a park.
Monthly weekly cheeky treatment. Massage etc
To look forward to.

My life is very monotonous, with neither happiness nor sadness, except for occasionally complaining about my evil boss? I think I should keep a small animal to keep me company, maybe I will feel better.

Just do one thing to get you started then build up. I have to choose to make myself feel better longer term because it’s so easy to fall into withdrawing and being passive with some TV and ‘treat’ food but only short term feeling (apparently it’s to do with dopamineءء I sympathise OP it’s hard not to get into a slump in the darker days. Spring is coming.

Plant some seeds to grow indoors to start off.
Buy some flowering scented bulbs.
put a bunch of sunny daffodils on your kitchen table.
Find a delicious simple winter recipe and make a long slow stew (Nigel Slater Guardian excellent ideas) The kitchen will smell lovely.
on a walk do a senses meditation -what can you see hear touch smell taste if you find something edible😀 (new sorrel or pennywort leaf) Look for signs of new life.
play some music you love
In the evening light a candle, light a fire, read an uplifting book, write down your feelings, hopes and plans for the new year ahead.
Phone a dear friend.
Long bubble bath and cherish yourself.

Hope you feel more joie de vivre soon and your spirits are raised OP.

What I hate most is "anything is OK". Which ones are OK?

I'm the same.. unsure I'd my anti depressants have stopped working after many years (so I'm changing them) or just winter or what.. I'm always bad in winter but this year seems extra for some reason. The weather is too crap to make me want to go out, it's too cold, so I'm just napping the winter away until my seasonal job gets busy again and I'm forced out the house 😒

Interesting, I only take 1000.. maybe I should increase

Sleep helps me. Making myself walk. I’ve been going to a gym fairly regularly 3 times a week this winter in the morning….very unlikely to anyone that knows me….and I’ve found that routine and getting up and going has helped this winter.

vitamin d.

chatting to a friend.

it also seems to me like it’s been the longest winter ever as we didn’t have much of a summer.

get to the GP is this isn’t helping though.

Also I know everything isn’t peri menopause but it might be….

I love my life but this morning its shit because the bloody gas man came at stupid oclock 8.16 am to start work.
I dont get out of bed till gone 9 at the earliest.

Walks definitely help me a lot, even more if I have someone to walk with.

Have you got people you could walk with so you can walk with someone pretty much every day? Walking groups, friends trying to get fit after Christmas? I'll walk day or night to make sure I fit it in and I plan ahead rather than wait to see if I feel like it on the day!

This is my first winter at home since retirement and I found it a real struggle . I feel I'm existing until the spring , I long for some sun even if cold winter sun . This constant grey gloom is so hard to negotiate and that's with doing a lot of what's been suggested on this thread . I see friends probably twice a week , walk my dogs daily , spend time planning my garden / projects etc and yet I still have this inexplicable draw to Netflix and my sofa . Maybe I hibernated in a past life who knows . I am going to Morocco next month which I'm looking forward to . Next year I've taken note of how I'm struggling this year and have booked Vietnam for 3 weeks in February . It's hard .

Same here - 55 and still getting regular periods so not in menopause. Live alone with 3 adult children elsewhere in the country who I do see often and they are the reason I keep going. Adopted a dog Dec 23 so although just getting out of bed is a huge effort - I dread to think what I would be like if I didn't have to take the dog for walks. Sunny weather helps but we haven't had much of that in the past year!
Work is on the borders of bankruptcy but i have 15 people who have never worked anywhere else, all in our 40s, 50s and 60s who need me to keep it going until retirement. However the Budget has put the final nail in the coffin I fear and I'm having to seriously consider that we won't be here by the end of the year.
Divorced ten years ago so had to start again with savings, house etc. Meagre savings 'loaned' to help company cash flow 3 years ago along with taking a 25% pay cut. Neither paid back and unlikely to be so I'm really struggling for money to do anything other than exist - essential house repairs have been paid for by taking a lump sum from pension.
No friends. Partner since 2017 died in 2022 after battling with a mental breakdown (lived with me) then four months living alone in another city where his alcoholism took over,. Mercifully died within a week of being in hospital but the guilt of sending him away is still overpowering at times.

Me too.
Oh me too.
I'm so sad.
Just this pervasive greyness that persists. I try distraction. I try exercise and basic self care - staying clean, wearing make up, but I feel so hopeless as soon as I stop being distracted. Hopeless. Helpless. Unimportant.

My partner is at work and busy and I stupidly feel abandoned.
I've started therapy for my security and attachment issues but it's brand new and i suspect is just stirring everything up at the moment.

I'm reaching out to everyone I can - I called my mum, I messaged friends, but I can't actually tll anyone how I feel because I'm worried they'll all just get bored of me being a misery, or will try and fix things. I don't want solutions fired at me. I just want company and to be held.

Agree with this. I went to the southern hemisphere for February one year and it made a huge difference.

Solidarity OP. I'm struggling at the moment.

There is an actual thing called SAD it's seasonal depression, I get this and it starts in October, I tend to hibernate and don't go out i start feeling better around march time. It's very weird how we get like this. It doesn't help that winters in the UK are long winded and don't seem to end!