To think introverts are discriminated against in office settings?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

In 2025, a lot of people still don’t understand quiet people. We’re not shy, and we’re not clueless - we just don’t always feel the need to speak unless there’s something worth saying. Despite this, introverts often face unfair treatment in the workplace. Some colleagues assume we’re stuck-up or disengaged, while some managers think we’re pushovers.

I once had a manager openly admit that she hired me because I was quiet - she thought I’d be easy to control. When I pushed back, she was completely thrown and acted like I had suddenly revealed an “evil side.”

Even now, a manager who sits near me keeps commenting on how “quiet” our team is, as if it’s a problem. Meanwhile, his team spends all day loudly complaining about minor things. Is this really what we’re supposed to aspire to?

One thing I’ve noticed is that posher offices tend to be more accepting of quiet people. They seem to appreciate a calmer environment, whereas in some workplaces, silence makes people uncomfortable. Some people just can’t sit with their own thoughts and feel the need to fill every silence.

I’ve also stopped forcing small talk to fit in, but it can make office conversations a bit awkward. Some people genuinely seem confused or even irritated when I don’t want to discuss the exact route I took to work every morning. (“Did you go down Sherborne Road by the bridge? Yeah, I go that way too!”)

AIBU to think introverts get unfair treatment in office settings? Have others experienced this?

Can you describe how exactly you are being discriminated against?

Nope. I'm pretty quiet and introverted and I'm middle aged and worked in loads of offices. I have absolutely never felt discriminated against because of it - quite the opposite

being quiet doesn’t mean you’re an introvert so YABU

I hear you, but I don't think it's discrimination. What you seem to be complaining about is being misunderstood and thought of as miserable, aloof, or mousy by your colleagues. But you can't control how others see you, any more than they can control the fact that you might see them as wittering airheads who should be getting on with their work.

Never been discriminated against in my life. And when does everyone manage to do actual work if they are all chatting?

Discrimination might be a strong word, but introverts do face biases in office settings. For example, being overlooked for promotions because we’re not the loudest in the room, or being labelled as ‘not a team player’ simply for preferring to focus rather than engage in constant small talk. I’ve had managers assume I’m passive or easy to control just because I’m quiet, and I’ve seen louder, less competent colleagues get more recognition simply for being more vocal.

There’s also the cultural expectation that extroversion = leadership material, while introversion = lacking initiative. In some workplaces, quiet people are subtly pressured to ‘speak up more’ or ‘be more social’ just to fit in, even when our actual work speaks for itself.

I think you’re making the word ‘discrimination’ do a lot of heavy lifting here.

Yawn. Another thread about "introverts" (most of whom aren't actually introverts but just people with social anxiety or congenital grumpiness) expecting to be treated as if they are special or deserving of some sort of protected characteristic.

What you are describing here is not being an "introvert", it's being "quiet" and "not wanting to make small talk". That's fine and very normal: a lot of people are quiet and a lot of people struggle with small talk.

Offices and workplaces are social environments. You don't have to spend your life socialising with people you work with maintaining a basic level of courtesy, inclusiveness and interest is pretty important to the basic functioning of a work environment.

If you're grumpy all the time it's hardly surprising people don't think you're making a great effort. And it's not discrimination.

I mean, you're also suggesting that extroverts are unproductive and not as good at their jobs as you are. A bit of chat can be good for team morale and bonding, as well as problem solving, identifying common issues etc. I'd personally find it hell to sit in a silent room with everyone staring at their screen.

Leadership does generally involve a lot of talking to people and it sounds like you aren't interested in doing that at all, so why would you want to?

You also seem to be pretty judgemental of people in office environments who are more extroverted to be fair.

You claim that you're the victim of discrimination, but your post comes across as a bit superior

"our actual work speaks for itself"

"preferring to focus rather than engage in constant small talk"

"Some people just can’t sit with their own thoughts and feel the need to fill every silence"

"we just don’t always feel the need to speak unless there’s something worth saying"

You seem to look down on the people in your office who are more vocal than you. Maybe they've picked up on this and that's the reason that there's a disconnect between you.

I’m not saying extroverts are unproductive or bad at their jobs - just that in some workplaces, being talkative is valued more than actual competence. There’s a difference between reasonable workplace chat and an expectation that everyone must constantly be talking to be seen as engaged.

I get that some people thrive in a more social environment, but that doesn’t mean silence = bad morale. Some of us find too much chatter distracting and prefer to focus. And as for leadership, I think there are different styles - plenty of great leaders aren’t the loudest in the room but are effective because they listen more than talk. The assumption that introverts don’t want to engage at all is part of the issue.

Perhaps they are being overlooked for promotions because the role requires good interpersonal skills, the ability to build connections through conversation, make other people feel relaxed and valued through engaging with them, a willingness to speak to communicate ideas and opinions etc.

Well said. This could be the reason.

Discrimination might be a strong word, but introverts do face biases in office settings. For example, being overlooked for promotions because we’re not the loudest in the room

Completely disagree with that. I think sometimes the opposite is true and the social livewires are taken less seriously and seen as, not less capable necessarily, but less productive, less diligent and less professional.

I'd agree with that, I think being quieter means our achievements are not recognised as much and promotions are harder to prove why we deserve one. Louder teams tend to get more work-achievement awards, from what I have seen. The louder they are, the less work they do, the more they shout about any work they have done, and then get promoted or awards. In my opinion it's a problem with the award/promotion systems being too subjective despite their boxes and criteria they use, ultimately it's still a human that gives the go ahead for the promotion/award and they can't help but be socially swayed.

Yet more navel gazing bollocks.
Yes OP, you are far superior to those mere mortals that chat to their colleagues. Obviously the only reason you would be passed over for promotion is because you are so quiet no-one has noticed you work there.....nothing to do with needing to actually speak to people and communicate effectively the further up the career ladder you go.

And extroverts are treated like attention seeking gobshites or the ones who should make the effort with certain things.

Being an internet or an extrovert isn’t a prospected characteristic and it’s not discrimination

I kind of see where you're coming from but I work in a "posh" office and people respect when you don't want to engage.
I think schools are the same, many things in the world are set up to favour extroverts

I'm an introvert but I don't think it's held me back - not in the right environment anyway. If you work in a decent environment with good management, they'll appreciate the person for who they are.

Maybe not discriminating against introverts per se but set up so that extroverts will thrive

"...being overlooked for promotions because we’re not the loudest in the room..."

The tendency - indeed, a desire - to communicate is a pretty huge prerequisite for leadership. I've certainly promoted people who were not the best at doing the thing, but were absolutely the best at getting other people to do the thing - and a lot of that has to do with being a natural communicator.

Some of the most effective people I know are introverts. BUT they still make sure they contribute to the team beyond doing the bare minimum. For example they will send their ideas to the team in written format for us to have a chat about, or they will draw up the PowerPoints for a training session.

I do hate when people give the reason for lack of contribution that they are introverted or shy or quiet. ok so you didn’t feel compelled to contribute in the team meeting - don’t tell me you we’re discriminated against unless you found another way to communicate. It’s not for your team members to drag your ideas out of you.

Introverts tend not to get the job in the first place and don't forget the empty vessels make most sound

First of all, quiet and introverted are not the same. Introverts recharge their batteries by being alone, extroverts do it by being with people. You can just as easily be a loud introvert or a quiet extrovert.

Secondly, you're right. You are ever so much better than noisy chatty friendly people who gain all the plaudits while you focus on the tasks and are suited to posher offices. Well done you, have a cigar.

No, introverts are discriminated against. Nor are extroverts. Both do well in a variety of settings.

OP your posts are littered with judgemental comments about extroverts / non introverts. Do you think you discriminate against them? Unconscious bias sort of thing. Because you seem to think they are bunch of vacuous, bullying arsehiles.