To think introverts are discriminated against in office settings?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

In 2025, a lot of people still don’t understand quiet people. We’re not shy, and we’re not clueless - we just don’t always feel the need to speak unless there’s something worth saying. Despite this, introverts often face unfair treatment in the workplace. Some colleagues assume we’re stuck-up or disengaged, while some managers think we’re pushovers.

I once had a manager openly admit that she hired me because I was quiet - she thought I’d be easy to control. When I pushed back, she was completely thrown and acted like I had suddenly revealed an “evil side.”

Even now, a manager who sits near me keeps commenting on how “quiet” our team is, as if it’s a problem. Meanwhile, his team spends all day loudly complaining about minor things. Is this really what we’re supposed to aspire to?

One thing I’ve noticed is that posher offices tend to be more accepting of quiet people. They seem to appreciate a calmer environment, whereas in some workplaces, silence makes people uncomfortable. Some people just can’t sit with their own thoughts and feel the need to fill every silence.

I’ve also stopped forcing small talk to fit in, but it can make office conversations a bit awkward. Some people genuinely seem confused or even irritated when I don’t want to discuss the exact route I took to work every morning. (“Did you go down Sherborne Road by the bridge? Yeah, I go that way too!”)

AIBU to think introverts get unfair treatment in office settings? Have others experienced this?

I'm an introvert, but I have to actively 'lean in' to being more outgoing at work, and the same is true of other introverts I know in senior management.

Saying less can be a good thing, but quite often the best/most dynamic ideas can come from a really stupid or ill-thought-out comment from an extrovert that then gets built on by others until it works. If you always wait to talk until you're sure its necessary or worth saying, you can be discarding good ideas because you think of a reason they won't work. But actually if you voice the idea, others may have a solution you hadn't thought of yet! (It took me a long, long time in the workplace to realise this, after spending years keeping my head down/only speaking when I thought it was worthwhile).

I don’t think all extroverts are vacuous or bullies at all. My issue is with workplace cultures that treat being talkative as a measure of competence or engagement. I’m pointing out a pattern I’ve noticed, not saying every extrovert behaves this way.

That said, introverts do get unfairly judged too - we’re often seen as cold, disengaged, or lacking leadership potential just because we don’t constantly talk. If I’ve come across as harsh, it’s probably out of frustration with those kinds of assumptions.

I wonder if what you see as introverted comes across to others as rude and superior? Because that's how your original OP comes across to me.

I have to make (often dull) small talk with suppliers and clients because in the long-run it makes for more cohesive relationships, and if something goes wrong they're more likely to help out.

I’m very, very introverted. I am, however, not particularly quiet. Plenty of introverts aren’t. And plenty of extroverts are.

It’s also possible to be quiet, shy and/or introverted without coming across as rude, disdainful and superior. Reading your posts, I think perhaps you aren’t quite aware of that distinction.

I get that small talk has its place, especially in client or supplier relationships, and I don’t think it’s inherently bad. My frustration is more with the expectation that everyone should engage in it constantly, even when it’s not necessary for the job.

I don’t think being introverted makes me superior at all - just different. But I do think introverts are sometimes unfairly judged for not being as chatty, even when we’re still engaged and doing our jobs well.

Introverts have to put on an act to be outgoing and talkative during work hours which can be very stressful and many will want to have breaks alone to recharge.

Even Jung who came up with the term said there are no pure introverts or extroverts.

Everyone is an ambivert.

The idea of being nailed into a rigid box that does not take into account the amazing nature of the individual is astounding. Why would anyone do that to themselves. Also it's often people who choose to identify as introvert who go on and make a thread about bashing extroverted behaviour. Which is a bit ironic really since that's generally what they are accusing people they think of as extrovert are doing to them.

I'm a quiet person in general, I speak when I have something to say but I'm not an introvert, I'm an ambivert, just like everyone else.

I’m not entirely sure that you fully understand what introverted and extroverted mean - particularly in a corporate sense. Small talk and ‘loudness’ have very little to do with introverted vs extroverted. Maybe look it up, because what you’re saying is a little offensive.

perhaps some more self awareness will help with the promotions.

This. Often promotion has nothing to do with how good you are at your current job.

'Don't be too good at a job you don't want'

In some workplaces, quiet people are subtly pressured to ‘speak up more’ or ‘be more social’ just to fit in, even when our actual work speaks for itself.

Engaging with others, building relationships and being active contributor to discussions is a huge part of many (most?) roles though. So yeah, if people I manage weren’t doing that, I’d be finding ways to encourage them. That doesn’t mean constant inane chatter but there is something in it. I say that as an introvert, but I know that (like a PP mentioned) I have to lean in to some of those things that come less naturally to me to do my job well.

Agree.
Being introvert doesn't mean being unfriendly

There’s a range of people at my work from quiet to extroverts (not too many I feel), and so far it’s fine no one is really expecting behaviours from someone else. It sounds like they expect you to chat all day long - I’ve never come across that sort of pressure.

Also work from home is a good way to step away from that traditional office environment and you have more control over interactions via messages and calls. Have you thought to ask for a work from home opportunity?

Didn't get the replies you wanted on Reddit, so you decided to come over here?

Introverts need to time alone to recharge. That is what an introvert is. It does not mean they are not chatty, quiet, or shy.
You can be an utter chatterbox and be introverted, and you can be shy and an extrovert.
I am an introvert, but with my people, I wont shut up! But I need a lot of time alone to feel able to face people again.

This. The whole introverts are special, gifted and misunderstood while extroverts are loud empty vessels is such a tedious and self serving cliche. Reductive, self pitying and resentful nonsense from people who are envious of others with better social skills.

I’n so tired of it.

Some nasty posts on here. I agree with OP, I’ve worked in offices for nearly 40 years (!), and I think things have really changed. I’m not an introvert at all. But what I remember about when I first started work is that it seemed that progression was possible whether you were quiet, noisy or something in between. Today it feels that promotion is based on self promotion, being the life and soul, telling people what you have done rather than just doing it. And sometimes telling people what you have done, even when someone else has done it. It’s a bit like politics; we have seen a shift towards expecting our politicians to be always on show, seeing to be doing things rather than necessarily doing them. People who keep quiet are discounted. I think it’s harder than ever to be an introvert!

I think the extroversion = leadership is all in your head.

People who can communicate effectively definitely have a plus over those who cannot, but that is independent of intro- extroversion.

It is also interesting that you are oblivious of the negative stereotypes of those labeled extroverts: two that usually get trotted out here are “empty vessels”, “better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and leave no doubt”. So if people not like you are expected to suck those insults up, maybe you can learn to deal with others misperceptions too, hey?

I don’t think what you’re describing is introversion but lack of
willingness to engaged with coworkers.

I’m saying that as an introvert. Fully functioning and not discriminated against 😊

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Excellent post.

My colleague is a quiet worker. She also has a razor mind and quick wit that she uses to dramatic effect, particularly in presentations. I love to watch people who may be inclined to underestimate her backpeddle like maniacs.

I aim to be her when I grow up

A few vignettes:

A form teacher once commented on my school report that he was 'afraid' I 'had not continued the trend to less introverted behaviour' he had hoped for last year. My parents were incensed, and declined to go and talk to him at parents' evening because they could not trust themselves to be polite.

I have worked as a librarian. The words 'interpersonal skills' rang through the profession as something no librarian should be without; I once read that we should be clear that librarianship is no place for the shy and retiring. And someone in a university department of librarianship around that time got a research grant to look into the improvement of 'interpersonal skills'.

My mum was shocked to read in a book on church music, in a section on running a children's choir, the words: 'the shy ones soon drop out', as if that was a good thing. Surely, she said, the church of all institutions, should have a place for everyone.

On the other hand, when I stepped down as a school governor, our chair paid me what I still think was a very handsome tribute. The thing about me, he said, was that often I would turn up to a meeting and then not say anything. But you would know, when I did speak, that it would be worth listening to.

In short, OP, I think you are right.

You can only be discriminated in respect of a protected characteristic (e.g. sexyal.orientation, pregnancy). Being introverted is not a protected characteristic.

I'm autistic and have studied for years to understand how best to interact people - chatting and smiling with people in the office and taking a real interest in them when I really just want to sit quietly and get on with my work is one of the reasons I have been promoted regularly and am known for having excellent people skills (something my mother could never have believed when I was friendless "odd" child). It's exhausting and while I don't agree there's active discrimination against introverted people, people skills are a must for most of the places I have worked.

I’m an introvert but it makes for a boring day to sit 8 hours with those that make no effort at conversation. You have to try a bit, even if it goes against the grain. I also want a manager who doesn’t shy away from conversations.

Seems like you don’t know the meaning of the words “introvert” or “discrimination” tbh.