Dd (teenager) has a birthday soon and doesn’t want any particular presents or a party. For ages though she’s been saying how much she’d like to stay in one of the tall hotels in London with city views (we’ve never stayed in anything posher than a travelodge), and go shopping in London just her and me. We’ve been to London a few times but always with her younger brother and they have quite different interests (he hates shopping unless it involves a toy shop, and every time it’s been really hard to keep them both happy). I’ve found a good deal on a hotel she’d love, for the evening of her birthday… when I ran the idea past dp (her dad) though he got pretty upset and said that we should all go as a family, and that it wasn’t fair to leave him and DS behind. His suggestion is we should book a family room in a cheaper hotel, go together and he’ll wait with DS while me and dd go shopping. It just wouldn’t be the same… DS is quickly bored and will just want to watch tv in the hotel room, whereas dd would want to enjoy the views, take photos, go out in the evening. DS had the option of a night away for his birthday, but wasn’t bothered and chose a party with his friends - I’d definitely be up for offering him the same if/when he is keen, or for dp to take him. I’d be more than happy for dp to take one of the kids away to do something that interests them, and have suggested it many times - he also travels for work quite often and stays in nice hotels by himself. All going away together is also tricky as we have an elderly, poorly pet who most boarding places won’t take and we don’t have family nearby. AIBU to want to treat dd to an amazing birthday trip doing exactly what she wants to do?