Page 6 | DS had disruptive child sat behind him

CocoBean22 · 2025-02-12T15:53:24+00:00

There is a child in DS class year 3 who has spent the majority of his time of primary in the sensory hub but this term seems to be spending more time in the classroom with the other children and his teaching assistant sat next to him. DS has been coming home saying that child X is sat behind him in class, and he sits and watches Paw patrol on a laptop with no ear phones and the volume on whilst my DS and the rest of the class try and concentrate and learn their maths. He shouts out swear words and is very disruptive. DS said he was told off by the teacher today for 'turning around' to see what child x was watching as the volume was quite loud and it was distracting him. Shall I let it go? Should I speak with the teacher? And if so what would you say?

CaptainFuture · 13/02/2025 08:23

1SillySossij · 13/02/2025 00:05

Were you in the classroom? No, and neither were your mum friends. Children do embellished and exaggerate. If you don't think your child does, you are That parent. I suspect if the cartoon was audible it was only for a few minutes. Sometimes autistic kids need an activity like watching a favourite show for a few minutes to regulate themselves. Maybe 5 minutes of audible cartoons is preferable to a full on 60 minute meltdown. Ideally the 1 to 1 would take the child out, but with so many send children in a school sometimes that just isn't possible, or the isn't anywhere that isn't being used by someone else. Primary classrooms are never quiet places. Tell your son to stay in his lane and focus on his work. No reason for him to be turning round!
Bear in mind class teachers are constrained by policies, and schools are legally required to follow the child's EHCP however ridiculously impractical some of the measures in it may be.

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Were you in the classroom? Tell your son to stay in his lane and focus on his work. No reason for him to be turning round!?
Your attitude here is appalling towards @CocoBean22 s child.

Stay in 'your' own lane!!

Ablondiebutagoody · 13/02/2025 10:05

stichguru · 13/02/2025 07:32

Working in classrooms, I would suggest that this child has a disability which makes him become easily overwhelmed by the demands of the classroom. I guess watching Paw Patrol, is something which lowers those demands, prevents overloading and therefore enables him to focus once again on his learning. So no there is nothing inherently ridiculous about preventing a child having a total breakdown in the classroom and helping them focus on their learning.

Letting them do it in a way that disrupts other children's learning, could be described as "ridiculous", but calling things "ridiculous" just because they aren't helpful to your child, when the teacher is trying to deal with the different needs of 30 kids isn't helpful.

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Listening to Chase et al performing another awesome rescue is, unsurprisingly, disturbing the other kids learning. So it's ridiculous and should not be happening. Not sure why you are arguing whilst also agreeing!

stichguru · 13/02/2025 10:51

Ablondiebutagoody · 13/02/2025 10:05

Listening to Chase et al performing another awesome rescue is, unsurprisingly, disturbing the other kids learning. So it's ridiculous and should not be happening. Not sure why you are arguing whilst also agreeing!

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Because there are two arguments happening

That a child should not be allowed to do something that disturbs other children.
That watching Paw Patrol is not part of the learning curriculum and therefore said child should not be allowed to do it in school at all.

One is correct - a child in a classroom should not be allowed to do something in the classroom which distracts other children.
Two is not - if a child is experiencing overload or anxiety they can't really learn anything. If ten minutes break watching Paw Patrol can calm them to an extent that they are then able to take in other information that they are being taught, relate to other children in calm and understanding way, and still more still, not shout out, generally self regulate better, then watching Paw Patrol in a way that doesn't disturb others, should very much be allowed for that child.

BigSilly · 13/02/2025 10:54

CaptainFuture · 13/02/2025 08:23

Were you in the classroom? Tell your son to stay in his lane and focus on his work. No reason for him to be turning round!?
Your attitude here is appalling towards @CocoBean22 s child.

Stay in 'your' own lane!!

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Erm... Stay in my own lane, She is posting on here actively asking for opinions, you absolute doughnut! 🤣

BLUEcups · 13/02/2025 10:57

Ask for headphones.

Children with SEN shouldn’t be hidden away or sat on their own in the corner of the class. They have to sit beside someone. They won’t keep the same seating plan for the year so every few weeks there will be a shuffle and someone what will be sat beside the child.

I realise your child might be distracted but it’s not going to impact on their life chances havivg to sit beside a vulnerable child for a few weeks. Don’t be ‘that parent’ and complain. Keep an eye on it and if they haven’t changed seats in the next month it so then absolutely tell the teacher.

Dramatic · 13/02/2025 11:10

1SillySossij · 13/02/2025 00:05

Were you in the classroom? No, and neither were your mum friends. Children do embellished and exaggerate. If you don't think your child does, you are That parent. I suspect if the cartoon was audible it was only for a few minutes. Sometimes autistic kids need an activity like watching a favourite show for a few minutes to regulate themselves. Maybe 5 minutes of audible cartoons is preferable to a full on 60 minute meltdown. Ideally the 1 to 1 would take the child out, but with so many send children in a school sometimes that just isn't possible, or the isn't anywhere that isn't being used by someone else. Primary classrooms are never quiet places. Tell your son to stay in his lane and focus on his work. No reason for him to be turning round!
Bear in mind class teachers are constrained by policies, and schools are legally required to follow the child's EHCP however ridiculously impractical some of the measures in it may be.

Show quote history

Why is it ok for the op to tell her child to "stay in his lane and focus on his work" but not to tell this other child he can't watch Paw Patrol during class? Clearly op's son was upset to have been told off, why do his feelings suddenly become irrelevant?

CaptainFuture · 13/02/2025 11:37

BigSilly · 13/02/2025 10:54

Erm... Stay in my own lane, She is posting on here actively asking for opinions, you absolute doughnut! 🤣

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Why are you responding to a post addressed to another poster? Unless you are sockpuppeting?

Halycon · 13/02/2025 11:38

1SillySossij · 13/02/2025 00:05

Were you in the classroom? No, and neither were your mum friends. Children do embellished and exaggerate. If you don't think your child does, you are That parent. I suspect if the cartoon was audible it was only for a few minutes. Sometimes autistic kids need an activity like watching a favourite show for a few minutes to regulate themselves. Maybe 5 minutes of audible cartoons is preferable to a full on 60 minute meltdown. Ideally the 1 to 1 would take the child out, but with so many send children in a school sometimes that just isn't possible, or the isn't anywhere that isn't being used by someone else. Primary classrooms are never quiet places. Tell your son to stay in his lane and focus on his work. No reason for him to be turning round!
Bear in mind class teachers are constrained by policies, and schools are legally required to follow the child's EHCP however ridiculously impractical some of the measures in it may be.

Show quote history

“tell your son to stay in his lane.”

Wonder if you’re this brave in real life. 😂

Why don’t we tell the kid watching Paw Patrol to stay in his lane outside of the class? Ah of course, someone saying that would be vilified.

But it’s fine for you to be rude about the OP’s child having a very normal reaction to cartoons blaring in his classroom?

Jog on.

Ablondiebutagoody · 13/02/2025 11:39

stichguru · 13/02/2025 10:51

Because there are two arguments happening

That a child should not be allowed to do something that disturbs other children.
That watching Paw Patrol is not part of the learning curriculum and therefore said child should not be allowed to do it in school at all.

One is correct - a child in a classroom should not be allowed to do something in the classroom which distracts other children.
Two is not - if a child is experiencing overload or anxiety they can't really learn anything. If ten minutes break watching Paw Patrol can calm them to an extent that they are then able to take in other information that they are being taught, relate to other children in calm and understanding way, and still more still, not shout out, generally self regulate better, then watching Paw Patrol in a way that doesn't disturb others, should very much be allowed for that child.

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Yeah, I disagree with number 2 as well then. Shouldn't be happening in the classroom. One kid watching Paw Patrol, another in the cosy corner playing with lego, another in their den (desk covered with a sheet) with a laptop, another flashing their card and leaving the room entirely, another doing something else.......etc. etc. 20% of the kids have some kind of special get-out these days. A classroom just can't function like that. It's chaos and detrimental to the other kids. But nobody cares because inclusion.

Halycon · 13/02/2025 11:45

Ablondiebutagoody · 13/02/2025 11:39

Yeah, I disagree with number 2 as well then. Shouldn't be happening in the classroom. One kid watching Paw Patrol, another in the cosy corner playing with lego, another in their den (desk covered with a sheet) with a laptop, another flashing their card and leaving the room entirely, another doing something else.......etc. etc. 20% of the kids have some kind of special get-out these days. A classroom just can't function like that. It's chaos and detrimental to the other kids. But nobody cares because inclusion.

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It’s a shame for the kids outside of this 20% too. Presumably getting very little attention throughout the day from teaching staff, minimal reward for good behaviour/attendance/results, watching their peers get out of work while they’re expected to do it regardless.

I know it’s obviously not as black & white as that to an adult, but to a young child, it is.

Ablondiebutagoody · 13/02/2025 12:10

Halycon · 13/02/2025 11:45

It’s a shame for the kids outside of this 20% too. Presumably getting very little attention throughout the day from teaching staff, minimal reward for good behaviour/attendance/results, watching their peers get out of work while they’re expected to do it regardless.

I know it’s obviously not as black & white as that to an adult, but to a young child, it is.

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I agree. They need clear rules and a calm environment. The situation described by OP fails on both of those.

lunar1 · 13/02/2025 12:27

My son has inattentive adhd, a light breeze distracts him, he would get literally nothing done if there were bloody cartoons playing in class while he was trying to work!

Don't let it go, this isn't a reasonable adjustment.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 13/02/2025 12:35

lunar1 · 13/02/2025 12:27

My son has inattentive adhd, a light breeze distracts him, he would get literally nothing done if there were bloody cartoons playing in class while he was trying to work!

Don't let it go, this isn't a reasonable adjustment.

Yes, one of the issues with inclusion is that we only seem to care about making adjustments for those whose disability necessitates loud volume or disruption. Anyone with a disability who requires peace and quiet is completely ignored, even though that’s just as ableist as ignoring the needs of the former group.

Some disabilities are considered more important than others, in my experience.

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/02/2025 12:38

craigth162 · Yesterday 15:54

Let it go. You have no idea how much work it has taken to get this child into classroom. I'm sure the long term plan will be to use paw patrol etc less and less and he begins to cope

Nonsense. OP’s child and the rest of the class have as much right to education as the child with SEN. One child should not be allowed to disrupt an entire class.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 13/02/2025 21:49

I'd talk to the teacher. Your job is to support your own child's needs first.