Is it worth it to get a credit card to treat yourself because you’re so fed up?

[LastHope30Something]

Just that. I know this sounds selfish and childish but I’m so fed up of waiting on everything. So fed up of having to be careful every month. I feel I’m not living and I know getting into debt before I’ve got a job will likely make it worse but my mental health has been taking a hit for a while. I’m so pissed off at those especially those online who get everything handed to them when I just get ignored and forced to just have to cope. I’m in the mindset that just is like f it I’m tired of being careful I’m going to get a credit card to treat myself and I’ll pay it off later. If I’m going to get one I’ll get a 0% one. I just want to go on a nice night out without worrying about the red of the month, I want a new phone, I want some nice new makeup, I want my Botox and fillers again etc. I miss the days when I was able to afford all that. I know it’s first world problems and people have it a lot worse and I feel terrible for those people as it’s not easy. I’m just so done and angry. I just feel like I’m in limbo and I want things to change for the better

I know you haven’t been back in awhile, but I just want to say don’t do it.
Also, the best thing I ever did for my mental health was get rid of my social media. I know people say that Mumsnet is social media, but it’s not the same.

Don't do it. Invest your time in learning more about finances and improving your mindset and mental health. Lots of suggestions here on using your time for fun free activities, ways to make money, you could also be improving your skills to make you more employable. Look up some people on social media who could help improve your life: Pete Matthew with Meaningful Money, Rebel Finance School have free resources and do a free 10 week course, Jeremy Schnieder on Instagram with personal finance (US based but great infographics), Dave Ramsey- invest in your skills and mental health, future you/your child will be much more grateful for that than botox, fillers, hair, nails and a night out. It can be fun, inspiring, engaging and addictive in a positive way to see yourself make progress. Surround yourself with people with similar goals on self improvement and it really helps your mind too.
You know debt isn't the answer. I'm glad you chose to come here and vent and stop yourself rather than taking the plunge with the credit card. It was a great decision. Keep making those ;)

You must be familiar with Martin Lewis and his mantras , credit cards are fine if you pay them off in full every month, or just to have as an emergency back up, because unexpected things do happen. Getting one just to give yourself a treat as you are fed up of waiting for everything, don’t go there. It can escalate too quickly to become a millstone round your neck

I swear if I’m in the same situation by summer I’m literally gonna have a mental breakdown

Honestly, grow up. Literally.

No, no, no, no! Back in the noughties, I was offered a credit card when I didn’t have a job (different, dangerous times). My cousin and I both had one and we used to use it to cheer us up. It did in the moment, but the long term impact on the cards was devastating, particularly to her.

I had this debt hanging over me that I was struggling to pay off. It wasn’t huge, £1k, but I was 21 and even when I did get a job, I pay the minimum and use it to buy clothes. In the end, my parents couldn’t stand it and paid it off. I never did that again. I’m 42 and married now and we have credit cards with no balance on and we never use them.

Watch some overconsumption commentary videos on YouTube. It will make you realise how ridiculous all these influencers getting given free stuff actually is.

A credit card is necessary because, annoyingly, without one your credit rating is poor. Lots of people buy stuff on credit without issue.

At the moment.

No because it will be a short term relief to be able to buy all that.

then you ll wake up the next morning, or when you get the bill that you cant pay, and you ll sober up quickly. Then the short term mental health relief that you had felt, will come back to bite 10 folds.

the best way to relief your mental health

• take up exercises daily: walking - running - walking it s all free;
• read and listen to music
• cook healthy meals with music
• invite friends over for a board evening: everyone brings something to share on a board
• re-focus your job search, entice the help of trusted friends / mentors to have a read of your resume
• do some CBT exercises: if a negative thought pops up in your help, say out loud and shake your hands in the air “i dont need to deal with that right now” or “I dony need that now”. It works for me, your head can move on afterthat.

do not despair, have faith, mind yourself

If you get a credit card, without even having a job, to pay for botox, fillers and bottomless brunches then you are either thick or need to wake up.

Because it’s seriously worrying with so many people in the UK who for real believe they have poor mental health because they can’t afford this plus shiny white teeth.

Also the belief that if someone on social media get stuff for free, then I deserve it too. Grow up and deal with real life.

My Dad always said to me if you can't afford it don't get it.

This. Never believe all you read online. A lot of it is pure fantasy. Most of us have been skint at some point - it often ends, but generally, with working in a normal job - not “influencing”🙄

Dont get into debt for fripperies - you’ll live to regret it. 🤷‍♀️

Studies have shown that going for a walk in the fresh air is very good for mental health.
I really suggest open up Google Maps, find a coffee shop just outside your comfort zone of a walk/in the countryside or a park perhaps/one with a view/one in a different area than you've been before, head there, nice coffee, and then walk back.
You'll then feel completely different having spent a mere £3-4. Not got £3-4? Then just go for a walk and target yourself to spot and identify 10 different plants and 6 different birds.

All the things you listed as needing are not really needs, they're nice 'wants' but none of them are essential. Your mental health is, and I can assure you spending money you do not have will not help your mental health. A walk in the fresh air appreciating nature will (even on a rainy day) because it will raise your serotonin levels natural without any money.

(FWIW my mobile has a loose connection on the screen so I cannot answer the phone without turning the screen off and then plugging in a charger and turning it back on. Been like it for 4 months, I am still not of the view I 'need' a new one because it works within the amount I need it as not many people phone me and I am not glued to my phone)

OP, I really think you need to go to the GP and get referred for therapy. Or refer yourself if that’s a possibility in your area. Some places have access to services like likewise, Mind, and support and connect which can offer 12 sessions of regular support to get yourself back together. If there are other issues, you may also be able to be referred to see a peer coach who has been through similar struggles and who can support you.

I really think that is what you need more than anything. And maybe some work around self-esteem? You are maybe in your 30s from your username yet are missing Botox and fillers. I don’t know if that is because you are on social media too much but you really don’t need them at this age.

You also sound angry and resentful, and maybe people have treated you badly. But if you are in that negative mindset, it can be very difficult to move forward. Therapists could help you with this. Remember that if this woman that you seem to be focused on, did not exist, your problems would still be the same. She is irrelevant to you.

Please focus your energies on getting help from services rather than thinking of all the stuff that you cannot buy. And good luck with the job-finding!

Not true. I don't have a credit card, mine is 999. I earn OK and have no mortgage, no loans, no car.
If we buy anything that should be on a credit card for security of cash back if a problem, DH has one. But I'm not a spender.

And try and not get into the victim mentality. I get that life has not been kind to you recently. But the problem with thinking that the world is against you, is that you start to become very bitter. You (general) interpret everything as a personal attack and you can be difficult to be around. It also holds you back from trying to improve things.

It sounds like you are quite isolated, maybe. This probably sounds a bit odd as you are struggling yourself, but do you think you could do some voluntary work with a food bank or another charity? It would be good ‘customer service’ experience but would also get you connected with other people and perhaps find some other sources of support and activities. Just a thought.

Nice stuff is great. That will come. But try and think of some other ways to enjoy yourself for now.

I'm curious. Do you reply to a thread before reading the OP? The missing information was in the fourth sentence.

I see this a lot on here.

No, I always read the whole post, but missed this (like I said. 🙄)

Op I know it's so hard, perhaps reframe things, looking over the fence is never going to help

Out here in the real world, people are not 100% happy 100% of the time but it's the bad times that help us see how good the good times are.
Sorry but you sound self absorbed and rely too much on outside influences to make you happy. Getting stuff on a CC you can't even afford will only make things so much worse. Wouldn't it feel amazing to treat yourself once you know you can afford to? Instead of doom scrolling on YT or tiktok etc look at self help websites to gain some perspective there are lots of good articles that can help you if you can't afford counselling. Try some mindfulness and breathing exercises - they really do work. Getting any job to get some money in your pocket will help. Good luck.

It’s like my work never gets appreciated by many and I feel so inadequate and ignored that it makes my blood boil that I’m the one left struggling as I thought I’d get what she and other has when I had my baby but that wasn’t the case yet I work as hard as they do

You don't "work" hard though. Because you don't have a job.
You might put a lot of effort into your social media content (although I doubt you do 40 hrs a week of it) but until it becomes enough to support you financially it's a hobby or an interest, not a job. Spending time and effort on your hobby doesn't mean you "deserve" new expensive things.

Same with having a baby - why would you assume you'd get "what other people" have just because you, (like billions of other women) gave birth?

I don't think I deserve a new iphone and expensive haircut because I've read 3 books and been swimming twice this week (my hobbies).
If I wanted those things I would earn them. With my wage.

Upstartled

If you can't save to do these things, then you can't afford to go in debt for it either. If it were a holiday or a large purchase, then it can be useful to spread the cost but you'd just be crediting a lifestyle that is beyond your means.

Im so sorry but this op, and the things you list are firstly sooo expensive and secondly need upkeeping so I think you’d regret it