Is it worth it to get a credit card to treat yourself because you’re so fed up?

[LastHope30Something]

Just that. I know this sounds selfish and childish but I’m so fed up of waiting on everything. So fed up of having to be careful every month. I feel I’m not living and I know getting into debt before I’ve got a job will likely make it worse but my mental health has been taking a hit for a while. I’m so pissed off at those especially those online who get everything handed to them when I just get ignored and forced to just have to cope. I’m in the mindset that just is like f it I’m tired of being careful I’m going to get a credit card to treat myself and I’ll pay it off later. If I’m going to get one I’ll get a 0% one. I just want to go on a nice night out without worrying about the red of the month, I want a new phone, I want some nice new makeup, I want my Botox and fillers again etc. I miss the days when I was able to afford all that. I know it’s first world problems and people have it a lot worse and I feel terrible for those people as it’s not easy. I’m just so done and angry. I just feel like I’m in limbo and I want things to change for the better

As has been pretty much the unanimous message here: absolutely terrible idea.

What will make your life better is getting a job. Any job. And to get off social media.

I have a good professional career and reasonable income. I get my hair cut once a year, i have never had Botox or get my nails done or fillers or whatever. All my clothes are second hand off Vinted and once I’m done with sth I resell it. My kids clothes and toys are all second hand. This is true for pretty much everyone I know. I don’t fritter money away and I don’t accumulate debt.

I know how you feel. I lost my job last year, and job hunting is a long hard slog.

Ive picked up a few bits of temp work here and there, but nothing permanent.

I’m sick of having to be so careful with money, sick of people asking me about job hunting, sick of having nothing to do all day except apply for jobs.

it’s really soul destroying, and I can understand that you want to treat yourself.

Nooooooooooo! Don't do it.

I started with a small £200 capital one credit card, and spent it on nothing, on a day! ...I'm now £15k in debt.

Do not do it

The debt will make you more fed up

@LastHope30Something DON'T do it!

If you aren't ''good with money'' the last thing you need is a credit card.

I cut mine up years ago {never had a debt} because they make spending seem so effortlessly easy.

But the APR is phenomenal.

Credit card debt is awful.

Don't go there!

Save up, then buy the things you want.

It sounds like you have been through a tough time and have hit an emotional brick wall where enough is enough. Use that energy to make positive changes that will give you the results you want despite taking time to see those results.
A credit card on 0% now may feel like a way out of your situation, but if after the initial interest-free period it is not paid off, you will be paying interest on what's owed from day 1 of taking out the card. Also, if you are not working, your credit score may not be the best, which will determine what rate of interest you will then be charged on that card. It is not worth it.
You mention you are fed up with having to be careful every month. Do you have any fixed income and fixed outgoings? Or is this variable? It may be that you don’t feel in control of your situation, which must cause so much worry and anxiety. I really do feel for you. I would sit down and work out what days you get income/credits/pip (whatever the source of the income is), and write down what you received so you know how much money you have to play with every month (or each week/fortnight whatever works best for your circumstances).
Go through the income and see if there are ways to increase the amount you get, could you call up and confirm you are on te correct tariffs and are not owed tax rebate etc
Then write down all of your outgoings, start with fixed expenses, and look at alternatives to bring the cost down, i.e., negotiate savings on service providers such as your internet provider, and maybe look at changing bank account (Nationwide offers £175 for switching). Is there any money/rewards on loyalty cards such as Boots Points/Nectar that could go towards some treats? Is there anything in the house that is not being used that could make a bit of extra cash?
It sounds like job searching has been an exhausting task, have you asked any friends or family to review your CV and ask if they can advise on how to improve the layout/contents of the CV, so it is appealing when potential employers read it?
‘I want a new phone.’ Is Apple Barclays finance an option? It has 0% interest, and you can trade your current phone in to bring the cost down or sell your current phone for cash and get a contract. Going SIM card only can also save money. Giffgaff starts at £10 a month, for example.
‘I want some nice new makeup.’ See if your friends and family want to do a swap shop with items they have been gifted or bought and never used, or see if your Bots/Superdrug points have enough to get yourself a treat with.
‘I want my Botox and fillers again, etc.’ Do you have any beauty colleges or salons that require models to get certified or for social media campaigns? Some treatments are absolutely free while others as for a contribution which makes the treatments affordable for you.
There is hope x

Reading the first couple of times tells me it would be pure stupidity.

You can’t afford to get into even more debt and a new credit card will sink you into even more misery when you have to pay it back and have even less money spare.

Don't do it. As someone mentioned earlier, it always starts small and then escalates to something bigger as it always seems like adding only a little bit more each month is not a big deal until it becomes a big deal. I don't want to sound miserable but if you really would like to buy something specific like a some nice makeup, you may want to start by saving for something like that first as it's not likely to cost thousands but at the same time may give you a sense of being able to live a little as you put it, i.e. something that saving for bigger things like changing your kitchen or building an extension, for example, cannot do for much longer.

My son as a little boy said ''Why are you unhappy, Mum?''

I asked how he knew?...he said ''Because you are buying silly things''

{Books, earrings &c}

He was spot on.

I was buying daft things to try to ''fill a hole'' because I was feeling down.

Buying stuff doesn't actually make one any happier- it's soon forgotten, then on to the next thing..

A walk in the fresh air, books from the library, stuff like this makes one feel better..

about 20 years ago banks were falling over themselves to lend money to home owners.

My neighbour took them up on it - ''£25,000 to spend TODAY!''

She collected a particular expensive category of item, and said she went mad.

But then she couldn't pay the £25k off.

She ended up losing her house over it.

Thankfully she had enough equity to buy a tiny house, but the stress was immense.

She said ''The banks shouldn't be allowed to lend like this''...but banks cover themselves!

Things {possessions } generally don't make one fundamentally happier.

I’m so pissed off at those especially those online who get everything handed to them when I just get ignored and forced to just have to cope

What does this mean? It sounds like you’ve had a rough time, don’t get into credit cards, but if you’re going to save for anything, counselling for your MH would be better than Botox and fillers. Good luck with the job hunt.

Same here. I save half my salary each month except for one, was mortgage free in my early 40s, student loans paid off in my 20s.

I go to the hairdresser twice a year, no fillers, no botox, shop well made clothes second hand, no car, live in an apartment rather than house, haven't been on holiday for years.

Sure, I can afford to do all those things above, but for me financial security and being able to retire young if that's what I want to do is more important. Also, being able to help my now grown kids should they need it. I think I get the same kick from saving as some people get from spending.

My mental health improved when I paid off my credit card debt. I finally felt fully in control.
Most of us have to curb our spending and just go for one or two luxuries occasionally. So wanting a new phone and make up and fillers sounds like a lot to me. Choose one thing that will make you feel really good and save for it. It's so much more rewarding buying things that you've saved for.

If I could live my life again, I would never get a credit card. I have used it for “little treats” when feeling down or in difficult situations and it is so much harder to pay off debt than it is to save. I am an emotional spender and have to work so hard to break this mindset. I would really advise against it if that sounds like you.

I think your MH would benefit from coming off social media. It is human nature to compare ourselves with others but in your situation it’s clearly making you feel much worse.

Put all your energy into getting a job, and don’t fall into the trap of thinking shallow gains are worth sacrificing your wellbeing over.

to be fair, the things you are describing as treats (a brand new phone, botox and fillers, luxury make up, expensive haircuts every two months -it sounds like you are talking about £100 plus cut and colours, not a £10 dry cut) are things lots of people couldn't afford even when they work full time, even in decent jobs, so it's not as if you are being deprived of things EVERYONE else is getting.
It would be absolutely insane to spend money on those things with no prospect of being able to repay them.

You don't have much money because you're unemployed, not because you are being unfairly discriminated against. You sound as though you think you're somehow uniquely deprived but it's completely normal to not have multiple treats and luxuries when you don't have a job (or other source of income) - that's the whole reason why people work, to be able to afford things!

Exactly it’s not worth it. I’m so sorry that some of you had to suffer with debt because you got a credit card when you were down. For me even though I’m tempted i think I’d definitely be in a worse place 6 months down the line when I’m working but it’s being used to pay off debt rather than used for things I want to do. Even worse if the worst came to it and I couldn’t find a job and 6 months down the line would be during summer and I know fine rightly that I would struggle even more than last year if I got into debt. I’m just fed up with everything and I really miss just going out carefree and getting/doing what I want. I’m dreaming of a bottomless brunch with the girls but that won’t be on the cards until next month at the earliest and that’s more likely if I get a job. There’s this girl on YouTube who gets things handed to her by companies and she went out last weekend. She flitters about and messes her husband about Willy nilly yet she can go out in an outfit that’s my style. Not saying she’s not allowed to go out and have fun but I should be able to do that as well. It’s like my work never gets appreciated by many and I feel so inadequate and ignored that it makes my blood boil that I’m the one left struggling as I thought I’d get what she and other has when I had my baby but that wasn’t the case yet I work as hard as they do. Why? I know that comes across as entitled but it is so wrong to want better for yourself and your family? And I didn’t even get a proper youth!!

being an influencer isn’t real life though. I have a work colleague whose wife was reasonably well known in the certain sector. Holidays and days out were always about whatever she was being paid to promote. I remember him having to go to an attraction for 2 weekends in a row because she didn’t get enough content the first time.
once the DCs got older, they were much less co operative and she tried to pivot to a different style of content with less success.
and all the time, my work colleague was paying the mortgage and the bills.

You’re always going to come up short comparing yourself to somebodies highlights reels.

Your YouTube woman isn’t real, OP. She sounds horrible anyway.

You don’t sound entitled - you sound down and at the end of your tether. I am sorry you are struggling, it’s a horrible situation to find yourself in, but adding debt won’t help you.

I wonder whether you might find some support on the MoneySavingExpert forums. They really cheer each other on, making the tiny savings feel big and sharing brilliant ideas to make the most of every penny.

PS. You don’t need Botox. Your natural face is more beautiful than any toxins and artificial crap, I promise you.

OP YouTubers/Influencers sometimes get lucky, but more often than not they're pretty talented and work on their content, like a normal job. Kindly, if you want these kinds of things sent to you - you need to be doing what she's doing! (I wouldn't recommend it - just pointing out even if the items are 'free' it comes at a cost of building a brand and making consistent content)

Sometimes following influencers does more harm than good - I think if you're not getting anything useful from her content, you need to stop watching it!

I know social media isn’t real life just highlight reel etc but still makes me feel shit because I work hard at what I do

What is it you do? Are you working at the moment then? Sorry, I thought you said you didn't have a job and were looking for one

I don’t have a job at the minute but I create content on social media

Social media is full of fakes. People rent a fancy AirBnB for a day and take pics in many different outfits then drip feed them onto insta over weeks or longer to give the impression they really live there. The same with car rentals, even private jets where you can pay by the hour on the ground to take photos inside.
You could drive yourself mad and bankrupt trying to keep up with something that is not even real.
The vast majority of people don't have fillers, Botox, a new phone every year. It's a social media based fantasy.
Learn to do your hair and beauty on a budget, and get a decent job. Live within your means.

Honestly Botox, fillers, fake social media isn't something to aspire to. You're worth more than that as a person. It's an oversaturated market anyway so unless you have something different to offer to all the fakery it's not worth bothering. Maybe you do have some special talent and something different to offer on social media though, I don't know. But comparing yourself to other fake women on there is never going to make you happy. There will always be someone prettier etc etc that will make you feel dissatisfied with yourself and it's not healthy for your self esteem . You are more than your surface appearance. See about getting some advice on careers and training for something that will serve you better in the long run. I do understand that you're fed up at the moment with not having any money and it's getting you down , it's not fun I know. You said you're waiting to hear about a job so I really hope that works out for you and that things get easier with money

Dont get a credit card, the instant gratification will quickly pass. Instead channel all that frustration into making some cash.

Botox?

God help you.....