Woman shouted at me for parking in a disabled spot

[AusMumhere]

I parked in a disabled spot at the supermarket today. A woman about four cars away shouted at me and said 'that's a wheelie spot'. I shouted back 'I have a permit'. She then yelled 'where's ya walker?'. I said 'not all disabilities are visible'. I hate confrontation of any kind.
Should I have walked away or should I have responded? I'm still in shock that I shouted.

Why wouldn’t you ? Thankfully those people who make decisions regarding blue badge issue and other disability related matters have a much better grasp of what constitutes disability than you display here.

I'd love for you to wake up as me tomorrow. I can't walk with an aid as my arms are as fucked as my legs. So fuck your opinion

You’re not disagreeing though - you’re being deliberately obtuse. You’re also ableist if you don’t mind that observation. Makes me wonder why.

You do not get to control what other people believe

Anyone who is pretending to be so thick. Unless you really are this thick?

That’s true. But if you actually believe what you’ve posted here l think I’m justified in trying to ‘enlighten you’ - as you asked upthread. If you don’t want to accept that enlightenment that’s up to you. I wish you well in your ignorant, ableist attitude.

Some people are nuts and need to get a hobby/job. You did well OP. Maybe have a response in place for these crazies in the future, like pointing at your permit and saying 'luckily I am in the approved wheelie squad' or a version of. It is not okay to have to justify yourself but unfortunately in life we all come up against idiots. The main thing is to not allow yourself to dwell on it and try to find a way to shrug it off. No one really wants to be in a position to need a disabled parking permit for themselves or anyone else they care about. People get bitter and jealous about stupid things. Try to find a way to reframe it and let it go (easy for me to say I know).

Don't feed them. They are being vile on another thread about benefits.

I’ve just realised this and reported them as a troll. Not engaging with it any more.

Some people are just entitled and lacking in any imagination. In their minds Disabled=in a wheelchair.

When I was a carer, I took a resident with severe and complex needs to the supermarket, using their Blue Badge due to the nature of their (invisible) conditions. A man saw me drive into the Disabled space and started shouting at me that I wasn’t disabled and I was young! I told him it was for my passenger who had a disability, and then he stomped over and gave them a good look over, snorted rudely and said, “She’s even younger than you and there’s nothing wrong with her.” 🙄

He hung around in an intimidating way watching us get out, but once my passenger was out of the car it became very clear that she was, indeed, disabled. Rude man then slunk off muttering to himself. I hope he learnt his lesson!

There are some seriously thick people we have to deal with. I have known disabled with Multiple sclerosi, heart problems and other issues that are not obvious to other people. In fact I have never known a disabled wheelchair person with a car/permit. I'd tell them to call the police or council if they have an issue.
The problem with these people, is that they believe that you have taken something from themselves, even to the point of being jealous of disabled people who they see as getting some sort of privilege in life that they are not.

I've had simultaneous tutting, eye rolling and head shaking from someone as I walked out of the accessible loo in M&S. I was under Condultant care for gynae issues which saw me rushing to the nearest loo. If I'd had to walk further and wait in the queue I may well have not made it in time. People can be very ignorant.

Ah. Course they are.

And the Harvey Price thread. So they are clearly on a roll.

There are dozens of disabilities that can reduce your mobility. Often you can walk so far with heart problems nut no further, or you cannot carry shopping bags very far. Perhaps you could have Parkinsons or Multiple sclerosis as per one of my siblings and can still walk but not for long. Only a stupid arrogant person would not understand this.

You’re absolutely right about it being fascinating. It’s almost as if they’re not actually concerned with making sure the spaces are there for people who need them, and actually just want to park there themselves. Oh wait…

I'm slowly dying and can’t walk very much at all and some days not at all. However you can’t immediately see any sign of it. I get this everywhere I go.
A few weeks ago I got what I can only describe as screamed at by an elderly woman who was furious that a "young one" (I'm in my late forties) had taken the last disabled spot and screamed "Who do you think you are? How dare you park there, I'm on oxygen! You fat lazy young one's how bloody dare you" It was so embarrassing everyone was shaking their heads at me. Not once did anyone look on my dashboard

I have a blue badge, for an invisible disability, and morons like this are why I don't use the disabled spaces unless I can't get a normal space fairly close to where I'm going.

OP, in your situation I would've just waved my blue badge and maybe my middle finger.

You can have a badge without being able to drive. My mum had one when she had dementia. It wasn't safe for her to walk long distances. My dad then got one when he had asbestosis breathing related problems because he couldn't walk very far without getting breathless. We would drive them.

@Rosscameasdoody OMG so some people continue having a go at you whilst you're wheeling away in your wheelchair??? What on earth were they saying?

I have an unseen disability and I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been challenged for using blue badge parking spaces. It’s horrible. I’ve been shouted at. People have demanded to know ‘what’s wrong with you???’ And my disabled parking permit has always been correctly displayed…I totally ignore them now.

“just because you “can” doesn’t mean you “should” What actually gives you the right to decide who should and who shouldn’t be allowed to use a disabled parking space?

The criteria for a blue badge isn’t based on whether you, or others like you, think someone has a sufficient physical disability to qualify for one! There are very clear guidelines that decide who is and who isn’t entitled to use one, and people should respect that only those who have met the criteria are allowed to qualify for one.

I have a blue badge (which is based on my physical disabilities) and it is a lifeline to me, giving me far more independence than I would have otherwise. It means that I can go out, without having to wait for when someone can take me. However, I do not grudge those with hidden disabilities using a disabled space, even if it means I can’t get parked! They have every bit as much right to use those spaces, as I do. The problem of finding an available disabled space is far more likely to be because of the abuse of them, by those who haven’t got a blue badge parking in them, than those with a hidden disability parking in them.

Ignoring them is the best course of action, imo. They are certainly not having any of my time.

I think some people just get on a roll and find it difficult to stop,or to admit they’re wrong to be honest. The woman who confronted me as per my first post actually stepped back to allow my wheelchair hoist to set the chair down - l don’t think she realised it was even there because she was still ranting at me when l wheeled away and then followed me into the store shouting apologies !! When l parked in a parent and child spot a woman ran after me shouting abuse because I’d taken ‘her spot’ and when the store manager told her l was perfectly entitled to park there if the disabled bays were full she was so enraged l feared for her blood pressure !!

On one memorable occasion an older man had insisted on me letting him see and handle the badge and was asking about my medical condition. I refused on both counts and he started shouting at me. A couple came over to help and managed to get him away while l got myself into the chair. I’d just shut the car door, turned around and he was back. Followed me into the shopping centre banging on about how he was sorry he’d made a mistake but that he had a right to see the badge to make sure it was mine !! At that point l told him the badge was on my car and he could take the serial number and report me to whoever he liked !!

Thankfully the really batshit ones are few and far between but l’ve had my fair share of badge warriors rush over to challenge as I’ve driven into a space, before I’ve even put the handbrake on, and my DH has come in for a fair amount of abuse when he’s first out of the car to help me - shouts of ‘you don’t look very disabled’ are met with, ‘no but she does’ as he helps me into the chair.

I really do believe that since the pandemic there are a lot more people with anger issues and this is just one of the ways it comes out. I’ve been challenged a lot more, and with more aggression since the pandemic and l think it’s because somehow some people’s sense of entitlement is heightened. My disability is fairly obvious. If l’m not in the chair l’m using elbow crutches, and l still get challenged, so l feel really sorry for folk whose disability isn’t obvious. L kind of get that some people want to make sure the spaces aren’t being abused but if it’s got to th stage where we’re challenging people who have a perfectly valid badge then it’s spilling over into harassment.

Well said.