To think being frugal is just another form of selfishness?

[BoldPoster]

People love to brag about being frugal but isn’t it just hoarding money instead of contributing to the economy and helping others?

I don’t think you know what frugal means, @BoldPoster. Frugal and Miserly are not synonymous.

Frugal is about not spending money unnecessarily, being cautious with it. Most people who are frugal do so from necessity or because they are saving for something.

I don’t know who you think is “hoarding” money, beyond the super rich.

Did a relative say they won’t help you with your house deposit?

Most people being frugal are doing so from necessity or to achieve a comfortable for them level of financial stability so an unexpected bill doesn't tip them into the red

People who are frugal do not necessarily buy the cheapest on offer but look for best value so actually on some things they may pay more. (I'm generally frugal but don't buy cheap shoes or cheap UP food) Frugality is basically living within your means and that includes being able to cope with unexpected expenditure so they won't need to borrow if the boiler breaks.
Not all but most so called emergencies are foreseeable events just the exact timing is not foreseeable. A tyre needing replaced is a foreseeable event; a almost new tyre getting a nail in and needing replacement again is not foreseeable but a frugal person would generally have enough in an emergency fund to sort it.
Generally frugal people save for expenditure rather than borrowing ( except mortgages student loans) they set money aside for house and car maintenance holidays etc
Many people are frugal in one area to enable more expenditure in another area
someone may run an old car until done then buy another old car as their priority with extra money is the Opera or gourmet food , another may rarely if ever eat out because they prefer to spend it on several self catering breaks etc
Frugal is not refusing to pay your share, a frugal person will say up front that going to XYZ restaurant is not in their budget and shall we go for just a coffee or would you like to come to mine for lunch, or would say we have a lot of expenses this month I would love to met up but I'll pay for my own drink
no one should put their own financial security at risk to keep up appearances with the Jones

I mean it's blatantly, didn't-need-to-be-said obvious that the tax I pay, as an individual, isn't wholly funding the whole NHS. If what you mean is that, as individuals over the course of our lifetimes we don't pay enough tax to fund our own lifetime treatment then how on earth do you know that? As a collective average it might be true, on an individual level it will vary.

That's why the system is failing because everyone wants a service for free without wanting to pay what it's actually worth
You are contradicting yourself. If people are paying anything, they aren't wanting a service 'for free' are they?

That's exactly the case now because too many people who can theoretically afford to pay twice for healthcare don't do so
Fixed that for you

If the NHS is underfunded it's because not enough people are paying enough in. The people who want a free service (i.e. who aren't contributing at all) aren't the same people whom you want to pay more.

What you want is for some people to pay absolutely nothing (no taxes or private payments)
Some people to just pay via taxes
Some people to pay taxes (including much higher taxes than the average person) and then voluntarily pay again out of their savings

And for them all to receive the same quality and timeliness of service? Can you see why people wouldn't consider this to be particularly fair?

my husband is like this

No not really, if you are frugal you can meet your own needs and are expecting to take care of yourself. I applaud sensible people everywhere. Obviously if they negatively impact their family thats not on. But no, no-one has an obligation to spend their own money of they don’t want to. Some people just don’t care for the kind of stuff that costs money (not me, I like stuff).

OP is mistaking frugal for miserly, methinks!
Frugality is to be admired, miserly isn’t.

I have a very frugal friend who has amassed a lot of savings but can be annoying to go out with. We always go out near her home so she can walk to the venue . She won’t tip even if service is excellent so I feel guilty and end up paying more . When I visit her home it’s freezing as she won’t put the heating on. She has a very good job but still has a very cheap phone with limited data so she can be difficult to get hold of out of home . She is a good friend so I put up with the quirks though she does sometimes lecture me about spending 😂

In my case it's because if I'm not very careful with spending on my wants, I won't have enough for my needs.

I’m frugal because my child wants to do a 5 year degree in 2 years time and I want to be able to help him as much as possible. I’m a single parent and his dad won’t help him out at all. So no I am not prioritising my money on helping out other people or the economy. I am spending as little as possible whilst still seeing friends etc. So I don’t scrounge off others but I don’t for example go the hairdressers or get my nails done or anything like that.

I think this illustrates the difference between stingy and frugal. Being frugal would be not buying myself a coffee, stingy is to manipulate someone else into buying it for me.

I’m frugal because I work full time and earn less than 28,000. I can’t afford not to be.

I am much more frugal than my dh is, but it’s not easy these days when everything is so expensive.
It was a bit easier years ago when things didn’t seem to be so dear, but it’s harder now.
Some people are just naturally tight I think, but for many they haven’t too many options because the spare cash just isn’t there to spend on things that arn’t essential.

We never had much spare money when we were growing up. I never paid into a pension until I was almost 30 because I never earned enough to be able to afford it. I was never going to be in a position where my parents could help me with a deposit for a house.

Being frugal has meant that I could get the deposit for my house. It’s meant that I can pay the bills without worrying. It meant that I could pay for my brothers funeral when he died with barely a pot to piss in. It meant that I could help my elderly parents out when they had unexpected problems.

Do I need to be frugal now? Probably not. Will I stop being frugal now? Hell no! I’m not loaded by any stretch but I have everything I need, and my wants are generally covered as well. I’m not going to spend money just for the sake of it

My frugality may not be helping the economy. It is helping my nearest and dearest, something which is far more important to me. My frugality is quite frankly no one’s business and I don’t give a shit as to whether it’s seen as selfish or not.

That sounds more like prudence that frugality

Unpleasant frugality is when you have plenty (decent pension and investments, decent equity in a house) and lean on others to spend (eg not paying your full share at a meal out) or deprive dependents of a normal existence (eg my DSC mum refusing to ever treat her children to a birthday party, day out or holiday despite having vast savings and a mortgage free large detached house)

OP, YABVU. In fact that's possibly the silliest suggestion on here for a while.

Being frugal means I have been able to give my ds a decent life.

I'm a single mum with no family support at all, but I've managed to pay for our home, ensure ds has everything he needs for school. Good quality shoes, warm clothes, home made food. I've sent him on school residentials and ski trips and paid for him to attend independent secondary school.

My average income over the last few years has been about £55k but I work it out. I watch every penny, grow as much food as I can, make my own bread. Keep my car at least a decade.

In the process I've also taught him not to waste money.

Now I'm working on how to get him through university without loading him up with ridiculous debt.

I don't hoard money, I make it work as hard as possible for myself & my family. My job is to do my best for DS. The economy can look after itself.

To me being frugal means spending and/or saving your money wisely. It’s nothing to do with being mean. Before easy credit we all had to save. A lot of people would be a lot happier if they lived more frugally

my husabnd is so frugal it damaged me mentally and put me under severe stress