Being spoke down to at work by someone younger

[Lu889]

Aibu to be annoyed about being spoke down to by someone who is younger than me? I feel embarrassed as she actually does have a higher qualification than me (childcare) but she is 19 and im nearly 28 and im a mum. She is very short with me sometimes for no particular reason. I feel like she thinks im not competent, purely based on the qualification aspect, that's the only thing I can think of. I have also worked there longer than her

She sounds annoying. Can you be short/ a bit off back (not rude/ unprofessional but not too friendly). Then she might get the message.

Is this the woman in the nursery?

Are you the same position/pay grade?

Would you object to being given the same feedback from someone younger?

Spoken.

Hierarchy at work isn't based on someone's age though! Is she your manager? Do you manager her? No excuse for someone being rude, but to expect respect because you are 9yrs older and a mum is a bit odd.

Age has got nothing to do with workplace structures. When I was 19 and working in retail before I went to uni, I was a manager of people in their 40s and 50s. I’m now 49 and my own manager where I currently work is over a decade younger than me.

Being a mother doesn’t make you more qualified than anyone else in a professional childcare environment, either.

The exact same thread was posted a few months back...

She has a higher qualification that you and being a parent has nothing to do with it, regardless of her age.

This.

It doesn’t really matter what the hierarchy is, she shouldn’t be rude to you. Speak to her about it or to a manager if she is rude. Sometimes people are just a bit abrupt in their manner which is not great in a workplace but they don’t necessarily mean it, they are just not very good at expressing themselves.

im nearly 28 and im a mum

These two factors are irrelevant.

If your colleague is being rude, report to the manager, but don't make it about age or being a mum!

Why does her age come into it. If she’s more qualified and or a superior to you then she will know more than you.

No need to be rude however but being 21 or 57 shouldn’t make a difference.

If someone is being rude to you address it. The age is irrelevant in a work environment although I can appreciate that would make it more annoying.

I disagree that age doesn’t matter - age is tied to experience, both life experience and workplace experience. A 19 has little of either regardless of her paper qualifications.

That doesn’t mean that older people are always right, of course, before the obtuse brigade come out and accuse me of saying something I haven’t, but a 19 year old knows precious little of anything. She should not be spoken down to because of that, but she certainly shouldn’t speak down to others with more experience.

Not sure what you can do about it other than avoid her if possible, and challenge it politely where you can.

If she is actually being rude. Maybe she is a higher grade and is just telling the OP what she should be doing and the OP doesn't like that.

Have you spoken to her about it? Can you ask to move to another room?

Have you posted this before? Sounds really familiar!

You are 28, not 8.
Talk to her. Ask her. Explain how she comes across.
you are both adults.
Act as such.

You being a mum has absolutely nothing to do with it. It’s like her saying she speaks to you rudely because she has a Fiat 500 and you don’t.

She shouldn’t be speaking to you rudely but it seems like you possibly have a bit of a chip on your shoulder with the fact she is younger and more qualified than you. Are you sure you’re not looking to feel negatively about her?

Agree. It does sound like you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder because she is younger and higher qualified. Does she speak to everyone like it ? Maybe it’s her way.

This is the poster who works in a nursery and is working with a young woman with childcare qualifications but no children. They OP has children so has plenty of experience and the other woman is lording it over her.

It depends what you mean by speaking down to you. People often have managers who are younger than them who are entitled to tell their staff what to do and how to do things.

Is this member of staff more senior than you due to her qualifications?

Nobody should be being rude at work. She might be more highly qualified but she clearly lacks maturity.
However, be careful about believing yourself superior based on age and the fact you have reproduced and she hasn't. The whole 'respect your elders' doesn't come into it here. You are colleagues and you should all be respecting each other anyway.

Practice your eye rolling skills when she speaks to you in that way 😉

As others have said, age shouldn’t have anything to do with it. She shouldn’t be rude at all, regardless of whether she’s higher up than you, older than you, or more qualified. Not even sure why you added thats she’s younger, as it’a not really relevent. I’m 10 years younger than most of the people I manage, I’d never be rude to any of them, but they don’t get automatic respect because they’re older.