Friend didn’t show up

[NMc16]

I was supposed to meet a friend today for coffee. Gave it half an hour and they didn’t show. Sent a message before hand saying I was on my way. They read my message and didn’t reply. Why do people do this? It takes less than 2 seconds to send a message to say you can’t make it. So rude and bad manners. I get people have stuff going on but a simple text to say ‘I can’t make it’ really doesn’t take much.

Do you think perhaps his wife found it weird her husband wanted to show up for you, another woman; that he didn't know how to tell you; and that he still follows you because he still cares, but can't rock the boat with his wife? (I'm too invested here. I know.) 😭

I had a friend like this, she was always cancelling or ghosting me and then getting back in touch when it suited her.

Anyway, I went to a prestigious event via work & she constantly pestered me for a plus 1 invitation. I dropped her like a hot potato & blocked her on everything; I can't stand users.

I was only useful to her for this particular event which would have given her brilliant networking contacts. Not on my watch love, jog on.

I wouldn't bother making plans with someone who doesn't let me know they are unwell beforehand. Sounds like she has no respect whatsoever.

Ring her and ask what happened

mumtobabyhavoc - She's met me before. They know I love my husband, as I post pictures on social media, referencing him. In a weird way, I would rather this 'friend' be honest and say he can't make it then string me along. She's got nothing to be threatened about as neither of us have tried it on with each other.

I had a friend who would call up and cancel, sometimes when I was on the way to meet the and the last time when I was sitting in a cafe waiting for them.
Always with the same excuse that her children had been up all night throwing up.

The last time I replied along the lines of

Really sorry xxx is ill again. Should they see a doctor or may be you should look at exactly what they eat and how the food is prepared because to spend so many nights throwing up suggests something is going very wrong

TBH I think she was one of those friends who was out for what she could get and as soon a she got it dropped me like a stone

I tell you what is equally insulting - is when a friend bails out on you - and then a mutual friend/contact who doesn't know the situation then posts pictures of the flaky friend at events after they cry off with 'illness'. I am trying to find the dark humour in these discoveries...

Same here hate users. I think if its genuine thats fine. I got so tired of flakes I dont re arrange things now.. people are flaky

I have questions too. Lol

Why did you keep him on social media?

Are you friends with his wife?

Has he reached out since not on social media?

Weird, then....

Maybe an AIBU thread is in order??? 😆

Didn't you ask her why she didn't let you know she wasn't coming at the time??

I think there's also people in relationships who don't like their partners to be friends of the opposite sex. I met her a couple of times. It was polite and there was nothing bitchy between us. But he's an adult who can make his own decisions so actually I have a problem with his flakiness.

Exactly. There are times when I’ve been unwell or just can’t be arsed going but I’ve always said I can’t make it I wouldn’t just leave someone hanging. Maybe I’m a bitch for doing that but I would never just leave someone standing waiting.

How awful. I wouldn’t arrange to meet again. Unless you have lost both your arms or in a coma you can send a message cancelling

Same. My problem is I am too reliable for people. I wonder do people see that and abuse it. I get annoyed at people being late constantly. I told a friend that I was starting to get annoyed at her lateness. She then stopped being late. And when someone isn’t the same back I find it difficult to deal with. I know it sounds petty. Anyone who doesn’t care to message or send a text to say they can’t make it or always constantly running late I find it hard to be around that.

Yes people more selfish now. Hate lateness too in people.

I don't mind people running late but to read and ghost completely is unacceptable.

The weird thing is I take bookings for my business and people will literally pay, not turn up, and ghost. One guy made literally 6 bookings and showed up to one of them. All paid for. They don't even get in touch to ask for a refund, then just book again, and don't show up again. It's not like I'm a dentist, this is a booking for something totally optional that people enjoy doing. People are just weird.

Some of us women are happy that our husbands are able to champion friends, male or female.

We’re not all totally insecure!

OP, she’s not a friend, I wouldn’t arrange to meet up again!

Where did she say all women are insecure?

Your 'friend' was really rude. They were so unwell they couldn't possibly have spent 30 seconds telling you that they were unable to meet?

I used to have a flaky friend who'd often drop me for a better offer. I didn't get mad at her, but after she'd cancelled on me for about the 6th time I replied to her pathetic excuse with "Cool, just let me know when you're next free."
That was 2019 and she hasn't replied yet.

I agree it takes seconds unless something serious has happened. I had this issue with a friend, it was her idea to meet up and for the few weeks before hand she kept messaging saying how excited she was. The day before I messaged asking what time will we meet there and she didn't reply so I didn't go. I messaged asking if everything was ok and if anything had happened. She messaged back a week later saying oh sorry been so busy! She's no longer a friend.

Lateness is also rude. A one off is fine but if it’s just constant it does get annoying and rude. I also have a friend who complains about we never meet but when things are arranged they never reply or else say ‘they can’t make it’. So I just ignore her anytime she complains and let her make arrangements

Probably off shagging an OW but can show the wife at home the booking for the activity to allay suspicions.

I attend a yoga class and pay 6 weeks upfront. The amount of people that pay and don’t show and don’t contact baffles me. Don’t understand it.