Friend didn’t show up

[NMc16]

I was supposed to meet a friend today for coffee. Gave it half an hour and they didn’t show. Sent a message before hand saying I was on my way. They read my message and didn’t reply. Why do people do this? It takes less than 2 seconds to send a message to say you can’t make it. So rude and bad manners. I get people have stuff going on but a simple text to say ‘I can’t make it’ really doesn’t take much.

People are weird! I was having an impromptu gathering & invited 2 potential new friends. Both said "yes", asked what time, what could they bring etc. Anyway, both just ended up not showing up! Next time I saw them, nothing was said about it, like "sorry we missed your event".

It might be a culture thing. Where I'm from, I'd never dream of agreeing to something only to not show up. I'd send a message or something to let the person know I wasnt coming. It's uber rude imo to just not show up. I don't understand why people do it, but it's very common where I live.

I'd be done with them then. There's no respect or consideration for you, that's not a friendship. You deserve better than that, so don't put yourself in the position that allows them to treat you so poorly again.

Unwell, my arse. They could have let you know yesterday before you were sitting there waiting for them. Staggeringly rude. Have some self respect and don't give them the chance to crap on you again.

I've had this happen to me. Not by a close friend though, if that makes any difference. Result was I didn't arrange any more coffee meets. Yes sometimes there are genuine emergencies but in general people can be so self entitled and fair weathered.

I actually had this happen to me last week OP and am currently debating whether to continue the friendship or not.

In fact, reading your post and the comments, I'm probably not going to as it is a really shit way to treat someone that you are supposed to be friends with.

I don’t care how unwell I am I would make sure I let a friend know that I couldn’t make it as early as possible.

It’s straight up rude to leave you on read knowing you were heading there.

Ditch them. No excuse for it unless they’re dead.

Unless so extremely unconsciously poorly in hospital, it really isn’t an excuse to not message at the time and cancel. It shows a complete lack of respect for you and I wouldn’t make any further plans with them.

That person is not your friend. They don't really want to see you and you are very low priority for them. Sorry, but it's plainly the case. They are rude and completely inconsiderate of your time and your feelings.

Do yourself a favour and forget about them. I doubt you will hear from them again if you do not contact them first. It's not the first time they've done this, but make sure it is the last time.

Sounds like someone I know. Life changing question here and I'm waiting for a text back and she ignores it! It's infuriating!! And don't you just hate it when they txt days later with a half assed excuse? 🙄

I'd sack them off. Doesn't sound like much of a friend to me.

Inexcusable in my opinion
It takes seconds to send a text to keep you informed
I wouldn't agree to meet again without an apology

That would be it for me op. I wouldn't bother again. If they were that unwell they couldn't respond they would not have been able to read the message either They have told you who they are and that they do not consider your feelings

This isn't a friend. I wouldn't contact them again. Not that I'd blank them or anything, but I wouldn't be the one getting in touch. And I wouldn't arrange to meet them again

I was the no show friend once. It happened because I had mistakenly added the date into my calendar for the following week. It was a genuine mistake but she clearly did not believe me as she has never spoken to me again. Bit harsh as I am not flakey at all (I had certainly never cancelled on her before and I did not mean to let her down. Hey ho.

Unless they were at death's door they could send text to say - sorry feel ill will need to re arrange.

Because I (and friends) have form for forgetting plans made well in advance one of us tends to text and say are we still on for tomorrow at x time.
If someone didn't turn up and let me know I wouldn't be arranging to see them again.
I have a friend who was often late or would push the time back on the day - half an hour and then another half an hour and then be late. The third time she tried to do it I said lets leave it I can't be arsed now. She was apologetic but I didn't go - she hasn't done it since.

I dropped a friend like that - she was, I think, autistic and a liar, but not my problem. After so many times of waiting for her and her not turning up and not picking up the phone, and lying several days later about 'emergencies', I just dropped her.

They were unwell, knew they had to meet you, knew you were in your way and let you go anyway?
wtf.
Bin them

> Why do people do this?
Because in their world there are two groups of 'things'
a) Them (important things)
and
b) Literally everything else (unimportant things)

Excise this festering waste of space from your life

I'd say don't bother with that "friend" again but then I'm a petty biatch so I'd be tempted for one last meet up before ending the friendship. And then don't go. Bonus points if it's somewhere that the friend wouldn't like to be sitting waiting alone and couldn't enjoy it on her own so would have to traipse off home to wonder where you are.

That's rude. She could hardly be so unwell and couldn't let you know beforehand. So inconsiderate and disrespectful. I wouldn't make plans again with them.

Can relate to this. Sorry to sound blunt - but I would put them in the category of casual acquaintance. Have got a university 'friend' who stood me up twice after saying they could make events I organised. I received a prestigious award and he said that him and his wife would love to come. However, he never showed on my special day. Never got an email from him. I emailed HIM and he said that he forgot, he was supporting someone through a bereavement, and that he was 'really sorry'. Never replied back from him as it was such an insulting excuse when I emailed him the invite (providing a digital record of the day). Still on my social media accounts liking my activity including the award ceremony in my honour which is weird. Don't let this 'friend' mistreat you like this again. If they don't respect your time or consideration then they have burnt their bridges. All the best.

I am having flashbacks here. My “really good friend” from uni stood me up once and ignored all calls, texts, etc.
No contact until 2 YEARS later when another mutual friend was in town and she wanted us to all meet up together. I felt used, and said so, and we agreed to meet up separately to build bridges. She never got back to my suggested times and then unfriended me on Facebook.
Sorry this is not mega helpful except to say some people aren’t worth your time, and it’s not your fault.

Nope. She could have told you earlier. She has done this twice now and disrespected your time.

I would be finished.

In future I would only meet up with them as part of a group and then if they flake out you won't have wasted your time.

flaky shit. Never meet again