AIBU? Baby Boy- Autism.

[MumofHennHals]

Please do not judge me, I suffer with health anxiety ever since I gave birth to my boy prematurely, I worry about him hugely. I'm seeking medical advice / treatment for this so I don't need to be told to 'seek help' - it's just some advice / reassurance is nice sometimes- so thank you in advance to anyone who helps.

He was born at 34 weeks, 10 months ago. However for his milestones and other things we have to go by his 'corrected due date age' which makes him 8.5 months..

He is a happy little boy which is all that matters to me, but as a mummy I want the best support & best life for my son as I can possibly give him.

My husband thinks I'm being unreasonable worrying about him because he is so young still and I do get that, but as a mum I just want to be aware.

The things I'm worried about are that he cannot yet:

• Imitate sounds or actions- for example, he won't say Dadadadada back to me even though he makes that sound already by himself & he won't copy me when I clap although he can clap and locate both hands together - instead both of these things will engage him, he will make eye contact and he will smile and laugh at me instead.

• He doesn't yet point. (but I'm not sure if that's expected at 8.5 months- Google is very much contradicting depending on where you live )

• He doesn't yet wave. ( but in all honesty, I don't think he has been waved at by many people regularly enough - I'll start doing this in and around the house more when I enter and leave rooms )

• Put arms up to be carried. ( again, not sure when this usually comes into play- but if he's crying I'll put my arms out to him and he will put his arms out wide which I've taken as a 'yes please' )

• Respond to his name, which is very hit and miss- sometimes he will look directly at me and sometimes he won't; I've noticed the won't comes more with the fact he is playing or something else has hold of his attention.

• won't hold his own milk bottle, prefers to be cuddles and being fed.

• Hates baby led weaning food, will play all day long with the textures in his hands happily but struggles to chew it- but is great with any flavour puree, his favourite is a rather strong garlic cheesy spread on his melty sticks ( which he feeds himself )

Things he does do;

• If we are in eye contact he will smile back to me if I smile or giggle at him.

• He crawls, climbs & walks along the furniture - the stair gates are already firmly up.

• he babbles, lots of Dadadadada, Dodododo, BAbabababa, and raspberries- albeit less than what my 4 year old daughter did at his age; but she is a major chatterbox.

• He will crawl over and climb up to me.

• He will follow you around the room with his eyes if you have his attention.

• He crawls over to the end of the cot when my daughter comes in the room every morning and will stand up and babble away to her.

• He will play peekaboo, if I'm covering my eyes he will remove my hands for my eyes and really giggle at me.

• he will make and maintain eye contact during a bottle feed.

• He sleeps really well, never has an issue self settling and sleeps through the night and has naps!

• He loves someone in the same room as him, if we leave he notices and gets upset and he will always notice if you enter the room if you've not been in it.

There's so many factors where he is sociable and loves social interaction, but a few of the 'Hit and misses' with the name responding, the not copying his words or clapping etc... it's making me worry, or is it still quite young? - he had an ear infection recently, he's got a follow up tomorrow- but it seems to have definitely improved and his hearing has been fine besides that 5 days 2 weeks ago.

Am I being unreasonable to the situation and myself for worrying so early on? Is there a chance he is still on track to being neurotypical?

If they were autistic they wouldn’t make eye contact and they wouldn’t reciprocate

He doesn't copy and imitate, so he doesn't reciprocate right???

OP, you posted the same thing word for word before. Gently, you aren’t going to get different advice this time. Focus on co tinting to get help for your own issues.

Did you forget your other thread? Too early to tell.

That's not correct, my autistic dd never had an issue with eye contact. It differs from child to child.

If you are worried maybe speak to the health visitor or gp. I would say though to try and do as many groups and activities etc as possible to really assist with fine and gross motor skills, interactions etc and see how things are at 18-24 months. One of my dc was diagnosed with ASD very young at 2.5 and I have other dc with ASD as well . It’s worth keeping an eye on if you’re concerned but you need to see how things go

he Plays peekaboo with you, he is being reciprocal, he sleeps well, he gives you eye contact, I have read your entire post, and nothing points out to me as autism in not sure what you think autism is?

You need to get help for your anxiety else it is going to affect your son.

None of what you are describing is concerning, though?

He is hit and miss with responding to his names & most websites say a symptom of autism is things like not clapping back or imitating you. I'm yet to see him imitate me. Besides from the hit and miss responding and the lack of imitating, He's a very socialable boy.

Well that’s an oversimplification isn’t it?

He’s so young, none of that is worrying.

My ds was born at 34 weeks.. We weren't told to use corrected age... All dc are different..
Enjoy your dc. He will be a toddler before you know it.

I'm autistic and exceeded all of my milestones as a baby and child. Every person with autism is different.

OP, your baby is doing better than my daughter who is nearly nine months. She refuses to eat solids and can't crawl yet. Your baby sounds like he's developing perfectly to me :)

Not sure what you think it is either?

Hi OP

So I think the thing to remember is that many things that might be seen as autistic traits in older children are totally developmentally typical at other ages.

Your DS is very, very little so I would by no means be concerned about the things you've posted. There will be milestone checks at key ages where they will check he is on track with milestones. But it you are worried, you can always speak to health visitor.

I really don't think there is anything he should be doing right now that he isn't already doing though.

this Is what I don’t understand because with autism they aren’t sociable

According to my parents, I slept through the night from approximately three months old. I was diagnosed as autistic at the age of 34. Sleeping well doesn't mean anything.

During the diagnostic process, I had to ask my mum about what I was like as a baby. According to her I hit all my developmental milestones as expected. The only thing that stood out as a symptom was that when I started school aged 4, she was told I wasn't a good mixer. Personally I think it's too early to make a diagnosis, I'd give it two or three more years at least.

That's not necessarily true. Ds had wonderful eye contact at that age.

However: Nothing, nothing at all on the list gives rise for concern at all. Op stop worrying.

Development sounds perfectly normal. Have you been able to speak to an HV, nurse or doctor about it as they may provide you with more reassurance than people on the internet, although I think you will get a lot of reassurance here. I don't think either of mine imitated me when they were that age and as for consistency of response, it's not something ten-month-olds are reknowned for. Stay away from those developmental milestone lists, they are not helping you and looking at them won't help your child.

I hope you can find a way to relax and enjoy your baby without worrying about 'might bes'

Not true.

SOME autistic children find eye contact uncomfortable. Not all.

This isn’t true.

OP I wouldn’t worry about any of things you have mentioned but just stay aware and keep a note of any concerns you have in case you need them later. I would ask the GP for a referal for a hearing test. He could have glue ear, some thing like 20% of under 5s have it at anyone time but if it persists they may recommend a tiny op (less than 5 mins for both ears).

It's well too early to tell, all kids are so different. Some children will meet all of their milestones as babies and could still have autism diagnosed later in life.

I would try not to let this consume you, and just enjoy your baby for who he is regardless.

Gently, there's a reason they won't even put a child on the waiting list for autism assessment until 2yr 10mths (in NI age may differ in other parts of the UK but still wouldn't be anywhere near your sons age) quite simply all children develop different skills at different ages so whilst he might be "behind" in some things it's far too young to tell if its due to autism or just needs a bit more time to master that particular skill.

When my eldest was diagnosed asd the thing that helped me the most was the comment, she's still Name, she's still the same child as she was at 10am as she is at 3pm (we got her diagnosis around midday) the thing is, if your wee boy is autistic then he has been since birth and nothing is going to change that.

Absolutely keep a wee diary and note down any concerns, you can use it to look back over and IF it becomes clearer an assessment is needed in a couple of years then it'll be helpful to have all his milestones noted to give a comprehensive picture as I know i struggled to remember half the ages of achievements! For now, just enjoy him, if you think he's not mastering a skill then work on it with him but don't get all up inside your head about it. Be the best mum you can be and enjoy him, diagnosis won't ever change that x

Absolutely not true. Both my autistic DC are very sociable. The older one is actually extroverted, struggles without social interaction.