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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you work because you want to or because you have to?

145 replies

fromthbottomofmyheart · 11/02/2025 16:29

Is your job is just a necessary evil to fund your life, or are you truly passionate about what you do? In other words, are you grinding away just for the paycheck, or are you the type of person who wakes up every day thinking, "I can’t wait to tackle that spreadsheet!"?

Do you live to work or work to live, in other words?

OP posts:
EggandStress · 11/02/2025 19:19

Absolutely for the money.

Movinghouseatlast · 11/02/2025 19:19

The job I trained for I would have done had I won the lottery. Unfortunately I wasn't very successful at it so did a side move to a related job that I really enjoyed but only did because I had to.

TheWonderhorse · 11/02/2025 19:22

I wouldn't want to not work at all. I have two jobs, one that's less me but pays the bills, one that's more interesting but is definitely a top up thing. I would love to do less of job one to do more of job two.

But I'm a Skinty McSkintface even doing both so there's no chance!

AGrunner · 11/02/2025 19:23

We could cope if I didn't work but I love my job and the money affords us a better standard of living. It gives me a sense of identity, community and purpose. It doesn't mean that I don’t enjoy time off or find certain bits frustrating but I would still do it if I won millions on the lottery.

LittleRedRidingHoody · 11/02/2025 19:24

Oooh interesting question. I do like my job, but if I won the lottery I think I'd give it up and maybe start my own business I could do part time.

Technically, TECHNICALLY, I could quit and still meet essential bills, living off investments if I stuck to the bare minimum. But I like more than that 😂 So I guess I do work because I want to!

Sunnnybunny72 · 11/02/2025 19:24

I'm retiring at 55 with a decent NHS pension and lump sum, but need to be in post at that time to keep those benefits otherwise my retirement age reverts to 60. I don't need to work financially.

I only do three days a week and have 22 months to go and counting. Hoping to reduce my hours down to the bare minimum next year.

Scaredofdwp · 11/02/2025 19:25

I loved my job. I’d choose it hands down every time if I could. I’m disabled and have no choice. I sometimes think I’d be happy taking a job I hated just to be able to do it.

hby9628 · 11/02/2025 19:28

Both!
My job is really flexible though so I think if I won the lottery I would still do it but take more time off when the kids are off & not worry about holiday allowance or not being paid. My role is quite cyclical so some weeks I could get away with doing not much at all then catching up when they are back in school.
I think I would like to keep my mind busy so would keep my job.

Blackkittenfluff · 11/02/2025 19:29

Never had a job I liked.
I don't know what that means.
I live for the weekend and holidays.

I work because I have to.
If I live to be 90 unfortunately I'll still have to work.

PumpkinPie2016 · 11/02/2025 19:29

Both - I am the main earner and in a leadership role in a secondary school so well paid. I could earn less but we would have to tighten our belts. So, partly, I work for the money.

That said, I am passionate about teaching and the impact education can have on the young people. I work at a school with a very deprived intake and trust believe that education will make a huge difference to the children and their families. I enjoy what I do and I enjoy leading my team.

It is very busy and at times stressful but I do enjoy it. I suppose if I could, doing a 4 day week would be nice.

BoldBlueZebra · 11/02/2025 19:30

I love my job but I do it because they give me money, the moment that stopped I’d be out of there so fast I’d leave scorch marks on the carpet

Lincslady53 · 11/02/2025 19:31

I really enjoyed my job, I ran a retail art gallery with DH for 30 years, and at 60 thought we would be working well into our 70s. However, the high street retail scenario kicked us in the bum, and we closed when we were both 67. 5 years or so later, and I would absolutely hate it, if I had to go back to work. Love being retired, love deciding to do what I want, when I want. We are not wealthy, but have enough to do what we want to do, and not worry about the price of food going up too much. Would I have retired earlier if I could? Probably not, I enjoyed the work, our customers and our staff. But I can honestly say that in 30 years, not once did I wake up, dreading going into work, unlike my previous 2 jobs.

pearbottomjeans · 11/02/2025 19:39

fromthbottomofmyheart · 11/02/2025 16:29

Is your job is just a necessary evil to fund your life, or are you truly passionate about what you do? In other words, are you grinding away just for the paycheck, or are you the type of person who wakes up every day thinking, "I can’t wait to tackle that spreadsheet!"?

Do you live to work or work to live, in other words?

I don’t have to work but obviously the money is nice. I was a SAHM for 10 years and retrained and started getting paid this sept just gone. I do love it so far, haven’t cried yet! I also dread it most days, just a tad, but I know that’s insecurity/imposter syndrome/teething pains as it’s all so new and different from being a SAHM. I am loving the focus it brings, being part of a team, and loving my clients.

The guilt I feel of the kids having to do afterschool club and longer days at nursery, and DH having to do more pickups and home stuff and juggle his work around mine is big. But on the flip side, I feel there is more balance as home time is now not everything, and also better quality as it’s in a smaller quantity.

I never ever ever understand people who are snobby and say ‘I can’t imagine not working, I would be SO BOOOORED’…… I can think of enough lovely and/or satisfying. things I want to do to fill at least a month without repeating! I don’t get it at all.

But also, as a SAHM, I was always wondering ‘what am I going to do with my life when the kids are older, what do I have to say for myself work-wise?’. I LOVED my SAHM years and am so glad I got to do that, but knowing me, I would work or at least have many many projects on the go even if I was a multi millionaire - most people would I think.

Ribenaberry12 · 11/02/2025 19:54

Definitely because I have to! If I had enough money I’d probably volunteer in the same field but I’d love to be part time/have a bit of flexibility.

MammaTo · 11/02/2025 19:59

Id give up my job in a heartbeat if I could. It’s an enjoyable job and I work with some lovely people but there’s more to life then working.

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 11/02/2025 20:03

Those who would still work though? What do you do that you would not give up even for a lottery win?

I'm a university academic. I have spent thousands of pounds and years of my life to be able to do this job.
It's immeasurably stressful at the moment but I love it and it's a huge part of my identity.

hideawayforever · 11/02/2025 20:11

I would give up work like a shot, I hate my job but have to work, but im counting down 3 years to retirement, can't come quick enough.
I'm very envious though of all the people saying that they love their jobs.
There's so many things I'd like to do when I retire, I wonder if there'll be enough hours in the day. I can't wait.

Motherofrascals · 11/02/2025 20:13

I work because I love my job.

Due to various factors including COVID I was a sahm with DC1. When DC2 arrived DH and I agreed we'd continue like that till they were both at school. 9 months later someone contacted me with an opportunity that was too good to pass up. 3 years on and I'm still pinching myself about it tbh. It sounds like an absolute unicorn job when I explain it to people. Super flexible, set my own days/ hours so I have a few days a week home with my youngest (and the oldest before we hit school age), and am around for the school holidays. It's in the area I've always worked so it's easy work for me and I enjoy it. I can also do the school runs and all the rest of it whilst earning money we didn't expect to have. It's not loads of money (which reflects the hours tbh), but it's topping up the fun spends and pension pot. Lucked out.

ellecf · 11/02/2025 20:14

My income isn't essential to fund my life and I don't find my job that inspiring but I enjoy working and the routine it brings to my life (work 3 days a week). I find my days at home a lot more mentally challenging than my working days but equally don't want to work FT as I find this balance perfect as a mum of 2. I work for a pretty cool company from which I get great discounts and my team is amazing. Super flexible and all really lovely people.

Didimum · 11/02/2025 20:16

Love my job, would do it no matter what my financial situation. I find it fulfilling and that it’s part of my identity.

Didimum · 11/02/2025 20:19

goodnightgrumble · 11/02/2025 18:14

Those who would still work though? What do you do that you would not give up even for a lottery win?

This is an odd question as people enjoy and don’t fulfillment in many different things. I might tell you my job and you think that it sounds like that worst job in the world.

TheFunHare · 11/02/2025 20:28

I don't have to work but I do enjoy the luxuries it brings. Life would be a bit sparse otherwise. But it's easy to fall into that trap of working ridiculously hard for good money and then not knowing how to survive without luxury holidays and designer clothing so needing to stay in the job that's slowly killing you. It's all about balance. Also I know I'd be bored silly if I didn't work. What do people even do when kids are at school.

ScarletWitchM · 11/02/2025 20:56

Because I have to. I don’t hate my job (now) but if I could live without the salary I would quit tomorrow

livelovelough24 · 11/02/2025 20:57

I do have to work and I do not love my job, however, I do not think I would be able not to work. I was just off work for four weeks around holidays (some vacation, some medical) and it drove me crazy. I love to dress up, put some make up on and get on with my day, chat with people etc. I do not think I would be able to be stay at home mom, or a person that does not work. It is just not for me.

ladygindiva · 11/02/2025 20:59

I love my job but if I had loads of money I wouldn't work full time as I do, I would probably do 1 or two days a week though for the sheer buzz.