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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you work because you want to or because you have to?

145 replies

fromthbottomofmyheart · 11/02/2025 16:29

Is your job is just a necessary evil to fund your life, or are you truly passionate about what you do? In other words, are you grinding away just for the paycheck, or are you the type of person who wakes up every day thinking, "I can’t wait to tackle that spreadsheet!"?

Do you live to work or work to live, in other words?

OP posts:
yakamoza · 11/02/2025 17:01

Wouldn't say my job is my passion or something I always wanted to do as I didn't even know such jobs existed when I finished uni or before I went into it. I am working to earn a living and save something for retirement like many others but to be honest I never wanted not to work and probably would work even if I didn't have to although admittedly maybe in a different kind of job.

Grassick · 11/02/2025 17:04

Have to. My partner is retired though (he is 12 years older than me) but tbh has not really had much time to himself due to caring responsibilities for his parent.

I'd give up work if I/we could afford it...currently working 30hrs a week.

AshCrapp · 11/02/2025 17:08

I'm in between. I need work, and categorically could not afford to quit. However I really, really like my job. I had to go to university for 8 years to do it, and it doesn't pay very well. I could easily be earning two or three times my salary if I had chosen a different career trajectory.

If I won the lottery I would have the second baby I really want, buy a bigger house, take a few years part time, and go right back to doing my job.

NeedToChangeName · 11/02/2025 17:10

I love my job. In no hurry to retire

bluebunnys · 11/02/2025 17:11

Do you live to work or work to live, in other words?

Surely nobody lives to work....??

We work in order to pay for the things we enjoy.

BejewelledCat · 11/02/2025 17:12

I like my job well enough but as a single, 60 year old woman with a mortgage, I go to work because I have to.

MuseumAssistant · 11/02/2025 17:13

I absolutely love my job as I'm lucky enough to be able to indulge my passion for heritage buildings and collections.

I'm in my late fifties and won't be retiring unless I become unfit/unhealthy.

Even then, I'd probably join our team of volunteers.

Frowningprovidence · 11/02/2025 17:13

In-between.

I have to work - i need money. my job certainly isn't a passion and I wouldn't carry on with it if I won the lottery. I'd volunteer at something totally different.

But I have a pleasant job. It's varied enough, the environment is nice, I meet interesting people. It gives a bit of purpose to my day. I'm grateful for it.

CarpetKnees · 11/02/2025 17:14

I can't vote as it is in the middle of these.

I think, even if I'd won the lottery or something, and technically didn't need to, I couldn't spend 40 odd years with no purpose or structure or mental challenge.

I mean, if I'd won multi millions, then I guess I could set up a charitable foundation or something, but if I'd won a million or so, and was still young, I'd still want to work, at least part time.
Winning a million or so once over 50 though, is different. Having done 30 odd years, I'd be quite happy to 'retire' at that point.

AgentJohnson · 11/02/2025 17:14

I enjoy my job, but I wouldn't do it if I didn't need the money because I’d be off travelling the world.

Yes there are tedious parts of my job but it’s varied, flexible and I can stack my overtime so that I am free five weeks in July and August and three weeks in the Christmas holidays. I’m free every Friday and we regularly visit theatre performance with my team.

MuseumAssistant · 11/02/2025 17:14

bluebunnys · 11/02/2025 17:11

Do you live to work or work to live, in other words?

Surely nobody lives to work....??

We work in order to pay for the things we enjoy.

It all depends on what you do, surely?

When people retire they're often excited to spend more time doing their hobbies.

But if you're lucky enough be be able to mix your hobby with work, it's win-win.

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 11/02/2025 17:15

I love my job. It's a huge part of my identity.

LaundryPond · 11/02/2025 17:15

bluebunnys · 11/02/2025 17:11

Do you live to work or work to live, in other words?

Surely nobody lives to work....??

We work in order to pay for the things we enjoy.

Lots of people live to work!

confusedlots · 11/02/2025 17:16

I do enjoy my job, but might not love it so much if I didn't work with such good colleagues. But I work part time and also usually take a bit of extra parental leave in the summer to be at home for the kids, so I feel like I've got a good balance. I wouldn't be saying the same thing if I was working 5 days a week.

If I won the lottery I might drop down to 2 days a week, but not sure I'd give it up completely.

strangeandfamiliar · 11/02/2025 17:17

Because I want to - sort of. I could definitely stop financially, and I have a pension I could access now. I've been part-time for a few years, but always felt that I 'should' work even though we've mostly been lucky enough not to need the money. I used to feel it would be a waste of my degrees and a poor example to my children not to. There are still times when I absolutely loathe it, but as I get older and the dc have left home it's something to do with my time. I really like my team and the social interaction that comes with being part of it. If that changed I would definitely think about leaving.

FredAgain · 11/02/2025 17:18

I need a bit of social interaction and I hated not working when I was a SAHM. I also work for the money and NI contributions.

That said, once I finish my NI contributions, and I have a stash of cash, hopefully early 69’s, my leisure time will come first over the grind.

MyUmberSeal · 11/02/2025 17:18

PrimitivePerson · 11/02/2025 17:01

I wish people would stop being crass enough to say this stuff. Lockdowns were absolute hell for me.

Different strokes for different folks. That’s life.

ComtesseDeSpair · 11/02/2025 17:18

A combination. I have to work, but I don’t have to do the job I do, work the hours I do, or earn the amount of money I do - those are the choice aspects, through enjoyment and status.

LostInAMist · 11/02/2025 17:20

Definitely work because I have to. I hate it! Forced interaction with people... I wouldn't see anyone unless absolutely necessary if I could afford not to work (lottery win needed!), it's not like I would get bored either, I have so much to do it'd be nice not to have work getting in the way to be honest!

JustMarriedBecca · 11/02/2025 17:20

PersephonesPomegranate · 11/02/2025 16:30

I'm 37 and daydream at least weekly about 1) retiring or 2) winning the lottery and sending that "Bye, I don't need your job anymore" email, if that answers your question😆

I have one in draft.

Work to live not live to work.

Verv · 11/02/2025 17:21

Both, I like my job and i need the money.
If i had a huge lottery win i'd stop working and go exploring / buy a huge cabin in the mountains though.
I suspect id still "tinker" in my field though.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 11/02/2025 17:22

I enjoy my job (most days), but I’d absolutely retire and never work again if I didn’t need to! But I’d need DH to triple his income or a lottery win, so i just need to keep at it sadly.

Lionred · 11/02/2025 17:23

Work because I have to, however, being on maternity leave taught me that I’m much happier with the routine and variation that working brings. Though, if I was filthy rich I’m sure I’d find something else to base my routine around!

LavenderHaze19 · 11/02/2025 17:23

I do my actual job because I need to. If I didn’t need to earn a certain amount to stay afloat, I think I’d still work, but I’d take more risks (eg join a start-up) and/or do something more worthy and enjoyable.

MyPrettyLittleBella · 11/02/2025 17:24

A couple of years ago, I would have said that I would happily not work another day because I was in a job that I hated. Now I am working somewhere that I like, I enjoy coming to work. I recently went from 40 hours per week to 35 which feels great. I never think about retirement, I assume that I will probably have to work a day or 2 until I die (fine as long as I am able to). Neither of my parents reached retirement age so for me, just to live that long and be in good health would be a bonus.