Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why can’t friends be happy for me?

39 replies

makiela · 10/02/2025 19:31

I really worked on myself last year. Got back on medication, lost some weight, made way more effort with my appearance and clothes, got a new job with a much better salary - I don’t talk about my salary but obviously mentioned the new job.

One friend just seems to have really turned on me. Snide comments, she had a gathering and told a joke at my expense to people I don’t even know to be laughed at.

She used to make a big deal of me not putting myself out there and being more confident. Now I have and she seems to hate me for it.

OP posts:
Notsosure1 · 10/02/2025 19:33

Ghost her. No explanation, she’s jealous and doesn’t wish you well. Drop her. If she reaches out to ask why and offers an apology you can re-evaluate

Praying4Peace · 10/02/2025 19:33

Congratulations! You have achieved so much and should be proud of yourself.
Embrace the change!

Chuchoter · 10/02/2025 19:38

You've done well and now she's realised that she could also have improved her lot but didn't!

Instead of saying well fine do you she's jealous and wants to drag you down.

Bin her and keep on rising.

potatopaws · 10/02/2025 19:42

She’s jealous because she’s got her own issues, and while you’ve sorted yours, she’s stood still.

Start being busy when she calls you, until she gives her head a wobble. Tell her why, if she asks you. I’m a believer in allowing people a chance to redeem themselves if they want to, but don't take any more crap from her.

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 10/02/2025 19:44

She probably liked feeling superior to you beforehand. Now you've stepped out of the "box" that she put you in, she doesn't like it.

AcquadiP · 10/02/2025 19:46

True friends would be happy for you. Unfortunately, this jealous woman isn't a true friend; and it sounds as if she has some issues of her own. Ignore her and keep doing you. And well done :)

theduchessofspork · 10/02/2025 19:48

She’s jealous - maybe you were the unconfident acquaintance that made her feel better and she wants you back in her box

She is not your friend

Just move on from her

EnjoythemoneyJane · 10/02/2025 19:56

She’s a frenemy; your relationship is predicated on her pitying you in order to feel better about herself. You’ve changed the terms of engagement and now she has to punish you for it. You really don’t need her brand of ‘friendship’ in your life.

Congrats on your new start, OP - keep moving forward and leave deadweights like her behind you.

whatawonderfultime · 10/02/2025 19:57

you need new friends to match the new you

Polkadotbabushka · 10/02/2025 19:58

She hates herself

KimberleyClark · 10/02/2025 20:00

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 10/02/2025 19:44

She probably liked feeling superior to you beforehand. Now you've stepped out of the "box" that she put you in, she doesn't like it.

Exactly this.

lobsterkiller · 10/02/2025 20:03

She doesn't sound very nice tbh. You've achieved a lot in a short space of time and you should be congratulated not torn into. I'd distance myself if it was me.

RubyRedBow · 10/02/2025 20:04

She is jealous.

I had a friend that was never happy for me but they would be visibly ecstatic and thriving when I was having a bad time. As soon as I was smashing life the trash took themselves out.

SpongeKnobNoPants · 10/02/2025 20:08

Ah, I've been there. 'Friends' who hang around with those who have very little confidence do so to make themselves feel superior. Now those people can't feel superior to you, you're surplus to requirements. You no longer boost their egos. The only way to claw back some of their undeserved superiority is to belittle you. It's an attempt to bring you back down to the peg they believe you belong on. That peg they previously liked you being on...beneath them (you never were beneath them BTW, but people like this are shallow and would consider your job & financial status, physical appearance, health problems etc as such).

Ditch them. They're not real friends. Real friends would be proud of you, happy for you and supportive. People like this are just leeches.

JudgeBread · 10/02/2025 20:11

She's not a friend, a real friend would be happy for you, not salty that you're doing so well.

Bollocks to her, don't let her rain on your parade. Well fucking done for all you've achieved, you've done absolutely amazing and should be so incredibly proud of yourself! Maybe your next bit of self improvement should be pruning from your life anyone like her? Set yourself free from negativity and envy!

Crikeyalmighty · 10/02/2025 20:11

Because sadly OP plenty of women are jealous people who are only happy if they can feel superior to you in some way.

Comedycook · 10/02/2025 20:13

The truth is in life there are actually very very few people who genuinely want to see you do well....even people you may consider friends

Schadenfreude is a very real thing

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 10/02/2025 20:13

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 10/02/2025 19:44

She probably liked feeling superior to you beforehand. Now you've stepped out of the "box" that she put you in, she doesn't like it.

Agree. Once had a friend who thought I was madly jealous of her life, got binned by her completely when she realised I really wasn't.

She enjoyed feeling superior to you.

Miaowzabella · 10/02/2025 20:20

Well done for upgrading your life.....now it's time to upgrade your friends.

Crikeyalmighty · 10/02/2025 20:25

@Comedycook indeed -German word , but a world wide condition of human nature it seems

Ivyiris · 10/02/2025 20:30

You need better friends op. She should be happy for you

JustFeedMeCake · 10/02/2025 20:36

Notsosure1 · 10/02/2025 19:33

Ghost her. No explanation, she’s jealous and doesn’t wish you well. Drop her. If she reaches out to ask why and offers an apology you can re-evaluate

This post nailed it. Get rid. She's not your friend, she's your frenemy.

arcticpandas · 10/02/2025 20:40

She's envious and mean-spirited. Definitely not a friend !

Cattery · 10/02/2025 20:42

Jealousy. Pure and simple. She sees you as competition. She wants what you’ve got

Cattreesea · 10/02/2025 20:48

She is not a friend...

She resents your success and is being envious and petty.

I would just stop interacting with her.