To be fed up with 'vegan' kids?

[bakingmads]

We live in an area where it's become fashionable to be vegan gluten free. We know a few kids who are allowed to eat whatever outside the house. I've noticed these kids have an unhealthy relationship with food. They seem obsessed! They never stop eating and if they see meat, it's insane to watch. I've even witnessed a child stealing food from other's plates!

I think if they follow such a strict diet at home because they believe that it's healthier, then why let the kids eat meat outside the house?

It's got a to point where we don't invite them for play dates because they don't seem to want to play just eat.

Not sure if I should mention something to the parents. Is it normal for a child to eat non stop?

If you gave your kids a yoghurt, an egg and fruit they would stay full for quite some time

I'm guessing none of these children have reached high school age; the parents will find their plans coming seriously adrift when they can get to the shops under their own steam.
I have mentioned before, in another thread, the convenience store close to my house and the local academy. Nice, well-behaved pupils, but I've been in the corner shop when they drop in on the way into school, or the end of the school day, and the shop is doing a thriving business selling sweets and snacks. Then, as you carry on towards the bus stop, a fish and chip shop.....
Forbidden fruit is sweet; 'twas ever thus
I can admit now that my parents are long dead that , in my teenage years, I would walk home from school (no time in the morning) to save the bus fare for cigarettes.

I think the real issue isn't what their parents do or dont let them eat at home, but that they aren't being taught manners!

I would never have dreamed of going round to someones house as a kid and asking for food, and definitely would never have just gone in someones fridge or cupboards and helped myself, it's rude and theft. I would have eaten my breakfast or lunch at home before going round, then leave and go home for lunch/dinner depending on the time of day. Unless i was specifically invited over for a meal time, a birthday party, or was staying overnight, i never ate at friends houses. Play dates weren't typically that long that you got hungry enough to need a snack either, unless we were round a friends house on the same street so would stay longer, but we'd go home to get snacks if we got hungry. It was just polite to eat your own families food and not the other families. I remember getting jealous my friends mum worked in M+S and got first dibs on reduced stuff, she'd regularly bring home massive fancy birthday cakes etc but i would never have asked for or taken any.

Unless the parents are deliberately not feeding their kids before sending/letting them come over then the kids are just being greedy and rude, especially the one who nicked and ate an entire packet of biscuits!

Fiirst thing children on playdates today do is exploring food. Trust me.

Yeah, I find the same with all the parents who feed their children junk food every day. Every party we have they’re dying to get their hands on crunchy vegetables, shunning all the cakes and sausage rolls.

A healthy vegan diet is fine for all life stages. The WHO back this up.

I am vegan. I have an 8 month baby. I'm doing baby led weaning.90% of the time she has what I have, because I'm not making multiple meals. She eats plenty of fruit and veg, and mostly whole foods. But, shock horror, I also let her have a nibble of sugary things if that's what I'm eating! Also most pasta and bread is vegan, so I'm not sure why they feel deprived of those. Carbs are really important in a vegan diet.

I've introduced allergens, such as egg, dairy, etc, so she can eat them in the future if she wants. Out of the house, I don't mind what she eats. I'm not about policing cake at birthday parties etc. I'll talk to her about farming in a child appropriate way when the time comes, and she can make her own mind up.

Vegan diets can be super healthy, but I'm wondering if these kids are getting enough or they're eating junk (there is a lot of vegan junk food!). Or they're being heavily restricted. I think the thing about no sugar etc goes too far now. There is no such thing as bad food in my house. There is only food, and you need different amounts of different types, but they all form a healthy diet.

We don't eat meat at home; however, we allow our children to choose what they eat at other people's houses and at school. This is partly for them (so they aren't left out or envious of what others are eating) and partly for the host, so they don't have to worry about special catering. Over time my older children have tended to choose vegetarian options outside the home (the older two have asked to go vegetarian at school), and I'm pleased that they have got there on their own, rather than as a result of a rule imposed at home. I think you're being pretty unreasonable; I bet you'd be complaining about having to cater for all the different diets in the opposite scenario?

So what's the problem then?

The problem is that OP clearly doesn’t approve of some people’s dietary preferences so is making shit up on mumsnet. 😂

The sugar free kids are the worst play dates. It's like an addict being let loose in a crack house. Do these strict parents not realise their restrictions turn the kids into the most horrifying guests.

I think some kids are just more prone to gorging on 'treat' foods than others & some kids are greedier than others too.

My dc are young adults now but I saw this play out quite a bit both in my own childhood & when my dc were small

I grew up in a house where my mother had a very sweet tooth & we ALWAYS had a treat / snack cupboard. Because ir was always there & there were no real restrictions on it myself & my sibling weren't all that bothered with it

We regularly had chocolate 'leftovers' from Christmas, Easter, Halloween etc

My best friend from school came from a bigger family (5 kids) & her mother had a much more 'sensible' approach to stuff like this & they had very few, very restricted access to snacks or treats.

She loved coming to my house & would literally gorge herself to the point of stomach ache on chocolate / cake / biscuits. My mother worked & as young teens we were often there alone & i didn't care what she ate.

I have a vivid memory of her finding an old tin of roses & tucking into them. They were all the flavours we didn't like. I suggested she should check the best before date & i can still see the look of disbelief on her face that you could have chocolate so long it might have himself out of date! She ate them anyway & told me that she'd never heard of just leaving the ones that weren't your favourite. In her house they scrambled for their favourites & then just worked through the ones they didn't love as chocolate was chocolate!

She def had some eating/ binging issues as she moved from teens to early adulthood

Later when my dc had friends over after school or parties there were also kids who were VERY motivated by the food - constantly asking for food, or checking when it would be ready, declaring themselves starving & then often not eating much of the actual food in favour of stuffing themselves with whatever treats were offered.

These kids weren't following any particular restricted diet. They were just more interested in the goodies than some of the other kids who couldn't care less about the food & wanted to play.

There's a high chance they are deficient in certain nutrients/vitamins. Its very hard to get adequate b12, iron, zinc and calcium to name just a few on a vegan diet.

Please ignore posters telling you to not invite them over or to just feed them vegan food. Your house could be the only place those kids are getting the right nutrients.

I think you are actually only talking about one person, and you’ve decided to blame all vegans and their children.

Whaaaaaat???

I think it's pretty normal for kids to get over-excited about availability of any "treat" food. What passes as a treat will vary from household to household. For example I don't typically buy Pringles (not for any particular reason, they eat other processed savoury crisps!). My DC were at a playdate where packets of Pringles were available and they were wildly excited.

We eat a majority vegetarian diet at home but I don't restrict what the children eat - one of my DC has voluntarily chosen to be vegetarian but he is not forced to be. If he wanted to eat a handful of cocktail sausages at a party that's his choice.

Why would they be deficient if they only eat vegan at home?

I mean with most young kids 95% of the food they eat is made at home unless they have school dinners?
Unless your child is going to sleepovers and parties every day, I mean lucky you for having such a popular child if that's the case.

our neighbours kids are like that with sweets. Part of me wishes I had been more disciplined ensuring kids didn't eat so many sweets!
But change some of the words around.... from vegan to e.g. Muslim, Jewish, and from food generally to pork / kosher / halal

You don't know what sits behind decisions to be vegan. Technically it should be about being against animal cruelty. But it could also relate to family health (parents who experienced deaths of loved ones from heart disease, cancer etc).

Most kids I know eat huge amounts. Just have more vegan snacks available - not very difficult really to be respectful.

You're talking about one weird family aren't you OP? You're using them to say that you're sick of vegan kids, as though you know loads of them 😆

Is you MN name meant to be ironic? Quit with the vegans are deficient in vitamins rubbish, and I say that as a non vegan

1. veganism is one of the healthiest diets you can practice but like any diet it can be healthy or unhealthy depending on how processed it is
2. regular kids gorging on chips, nuggets, are as deficient in beneficial vitamins and minerals as any vegan

Would you really want your kids going somewhere the parents showed a massive lack of respect for your food choices and values?

this is a double standards issue, not a vegan issue.

speaking as a vegan...

YANBU

Came on to say the same thing. Never seen anything like it. A kid at another child’s party ramming sweets in their mouth so fast I thought they’d choke. They are like it every time I see them away from the mother. Shovelling as much down as possible. They are going to end up with such an unhealthy relationship with food

People will say it's mean, but I'd either stop having them at my house (meet them for active playdates where food will be less an issue) or put away the things they might steal or binge eat. Offer a normal amount of food and snacks, be firm about requests for more than you'd typically provide, and stop caring if they think you're mean.

Their desire to overindulge in certain foods is obviously a reaction to the tight controls exercised at home, but I don't think I'd mention it to their parents, unless it's particularly egregious, like blatantly sneaking around and stealing things. And even then I'd be more inclined to just not have them over again than to have an awkward talk.

I think it depends how well you can deliver a message and how receptive the parents would be.

If the children are actually desperate to eat mainstream food and find it so delicious because it is withheld from them at home, yes I think that's an issue, because I think you generally crave what your body needs (I know I do). That craving can be so powerful that a child couldn't reasonably be expected to withstand it, manners or not. So if your sense is that's what's happening, the correct thing to do would be to mention it. But if you feel they wouldn't be receptive or you are concerned about how to deliver the message, then you are on a hiding to nothing and it's best just not to invite them.