Page 3 | To be annoyed with my husband over his tooth

bookworm8500 · 2025-02-09T13:25:53+00:00

My husband knocked a tooth out at work (don't ask!). It's not at the very front, but one to the side of the front, so very obvious when he even talks, let alone smiles or laughs. He's always taken pride in his appearance and still does....however....he is not planning on getting his tooth replaced with an implant or a bridge. We've got a dentist, we've got the money. He hates anything medical and actively avoids the doctors etc and has been lucky he's been able to avoid them for most of his life. It's genuinely really annoyed me and I can't understand why he wouldn't. It's aged him (he's 52) and it just looks awful. AIBU to insist he goes to the dentist and gets it sorted?!

biscuitsandbooks · 09/02/2025 17:52

Disturbia81 · 09/02/2025 17:50

@biscuitsandbooks But you are saying they should be thought of as the same. They are TOTALLY different. The front is an issue so having back teeth missing doesn't mean she can't bring it up.

I didn't say she couldn't bring it up or that they should be thought of as the same. What I did say was that back teeth gaps can be visible too.

I guess I just think it's a bit hypocritical to complain that your DH isn't doing anything to fix his teeth when you're doing nothing to fix your own.

WeylandYutani · 09/02/2025 17:55

Imagine a thread - "AIBU to be annoyed with my wife over her breast", and it is about OP saying his wife had breast cancer, and had a boob removed.
Or an eye - "AIBU to hate my partner's eye patch, and just wish they would get a false eye fitted".

Disturbia81 · 09/02/2025 17:56

@biscuitsandbooks But no-one needs to fix back teeth, most people have some missing.
They are unnoticeable to most apart from your dentist
Front teeth are very obvious. It's completely different. It's your smile ffs.

Gettingbysomehow · 09/02/2025 18:04

I have three implants at the front and I'm thrilled with them. They didn't hurt one little bit. I can't understand why he would want an ugly gap at his age.

biscuitsandbooks · 09/02/2025 18:10

Disturbia81 · 09/02/2025 17:56

@biscuitsandbooks But no-one needs to fix back teeth, most people have some missing.
They are unnoticeable to most apart from your dentist
Front teeth are very obvious. It's completely different. It's your smile ffs.

And not everyone cares about their smile - maybe OP's DH is one of them.

Like PP said, imagine if this was a bloke criticising his wife over her teeth!

Foxylass · 09/02/2025 18:11

I had a gap, two teeth further back than in your picture, and it was pointed out to me as very noticeable and unsightly. From then on, I noticed it more.
It's now fixed and I am so glad I did it.

I thought that I was not remotely bothered or vain in anyway...but clearly I was.

If mine was noticeable, one further forward would definitely be.

My vote is, get it fixed.

JC03745 · 09/02/2025 18:17

OP- My DH also avoids anything medical due to trauma as a child. Among many other failures, his parents were told he was seeking morphine when in fact, he had undiagnosed peritonitis from a botched appendectomy! He nearly died! He was 12!

Initially, I had to make the dental/GP appointments and go along. Once DH built up trust, he goes on his own and makes his own appointments. Would your DH go to an appointment you booked? Even if to just discuss options and to to no lose more teeth?

As a side, I cannot believe the amount of people who are happy to live with missing teeth! Yes, there is a cost for correction, but surely there is more of a cost to the existing teeth, eating, job prospects and overall general life?

biscuitsandbooks · 09/02/2025 18:21

As a side, I cannot believe the amount of people who are happy to live with missing teeth! Yes, there is a cost for correction, but surely there is more of a cost to the existing teeth, eating, job prospects and overall general life?

I suspect many people just can't afford to get their teeth fixed. I mean, if you can't afford a bridge or a denture, then the long-term costs of missing teeth are pretty irrelevant, really. You can't magic money out of thin air.

WeylandYutani · 09/02/2025 18:24

JC03745 · 09/02/2025 18:17

OP- My DH also avoids anything medical due to trauma as a child. Among many other failures, his parents were told he was seeking morphine when in fact, he had undiagnosed peritonitis from a botched appendectomy! He nearly died! He was 12!

Initially, I had to make the dental/GP appointments and go along. Once DH built up trust, he goes on his own and makes his own appointments. Would your DH go to an appointment you booked? Even if to just discuss options and to to no lose more teeth?

As a side, I cannot believe the amount of people who are happy to live with missing teeth! Yes, there is a cost for correction, but surely there is more of a cost to the existing teeth, eating, job prospects and overall general life?

I am unable to work anyway, my existing teeth are fine, eating has not been affected. I don't mind my gap, and neither does my DP. Everyone else can get stuffed with their opinions on my body.

biscuitsandbooks · 09/02/2025 18:26

I think it's shit that so many people on here have felt the need to defend themselves from nasty judgement over their teeth.

It's just a missing tooth, it's hardly the end of the world.

UndermyShoeJoe · 09/02/2025 18:32

I mean if he can afford it it seems silly but if he has issues with medical stuff you can’t blame him.

I’ve always joked ill just wait till they all need to come out then get dentures cheaper than one tooth at a time and teeth anit cheap.

also disgusting that the nhs is basically nhs bar teeth and eyes.

ItGhoul · 09/02/2025 18:43

Would I find a missing front tooth attractive? No. Would I insist that my partner got a dental implant just for that reason? Also no.

Cattery · 09/02/2025 19:03

A Maryland bonded bridge will solve the issue x

SailorSerena · 09/02/2025 19:43

Disturbia81 · 09/02/2025 17:56

@biscuitsandbooks But no-one needs to fix back teeth, most people have some missing.
They are unnoticeable to most apart from your dentist
Front teeth are very obvious. It's completely different. It's your smile ffs.

It's important to fix back teeth because they are the most used ones when chewing. Having gaps at the back puts uneven load on the other teeth around the the gap which causes tooth migration. Dentists will tell you how important it is to replace multiple missing back teeth. But apparently no one cares if their teeth are actually in good condition, as long as they look nice!

Disturbia81 · 09/02/2025 20:45

@SailorSerena Never heard that from a dentist and seen plenty different ones, they say "it's not visible so will be fine" never had it suggested to put things in the gaps place. My teeth are all in the same place decades after removal of other back teeth.

Onlyvisiting · 09/02/2025 20:47

You would be massively unreasonable. His body, he gets to choose.
And tbh being this judgy over it seems pretty shallow to me. I'd be very unimpressed if I was on the receiving end.

warmheartcoldfeet · 09/02/2025 20:54

Is your husband Nikola Katic?

IcedPurple · 09/02/2025 21:01

ginasevern · 09/02/2025 17:01

Of course a missing front tooth is more visible but this is Mumsnet. If there's a place to argue black is white, then this is it.

Show quote history

We've lost sight of what a missing back tooth is.

IcedPurple · 09/02/2025 21:04

protectthesmallones · 09/02/2025 13:45

If he doesn't like medical procedures he can opt for a flexi plate with a tooth on it for about £800.
It involves taking a mould of the jaw but that's about as invasive as it gets. It's more comfortable than the rigid nhs plate.

He could get a bridge for that cost. Since the tooth is already missing no extraction will be needed, just shaving down the neighbouring teeth.

warmheartcoldfeet · 09/02/2025 21:24

IcedPurple · 09/02/2025 21:04

He could get a bridge for that cost. Since the tooth is already missing no extraction will be needed, just shaving down the neighbouring teeth.

Show quote history

'just shaving down the neighbouring teeth'

😬😱😵

There's no way I'd have one of my front teeth filed down to get a bridge.

I've just had a flexiplate fitted for a single missing tooth and it's brilliant. It all took 2 weeks from taking the mould to fitting and it's really comfortable and looks exactly like my missing tooth.
Zero procedures needed, no filing, no pain.

GinBlossom94 · 09/02/2025 21:32

warmheartcoldfeet · 09/02/2025 20:54

Is your husband Nikola Katic?

😂😂

DuckieDodgyHedgyPiggy · 09/02/2025 21:35

I don't mind the odd missing tooth on men - I quite like the pirate look. Maybe you could tell him about the plate suggestion on here, but I think YABU to insist he gets it replaced.

queenofthemay · 09/02/2025 21:41

LOL at “ liking the pirate look”.
Does your DH resemble Johnny Depp, OP?

DeliciouslyEvil · 10/02/2025 10:22

Blueberry911 · 09/02/2025 14:44

You've never given a thought to missing a front tooth?

Show quote history

well no, as long as I am not in pain anymore and can eat, it does not matter, I do not spend time looking in the mirror so do not notice it

spikefaithbuffy · 10/02/2025 10:55

JC03745 · 09/02/2025 18:17

OP- My DH also avoids anything medical due to trauma as a child. Among many other failures, his parents were told he was seeking morphine when in fact, he had undiagnosed peritonitis from a botched appendectomy! He nearly died! He was 12!

Initially, I had to make the dental/GP appointments and go along. Once DH built up trust, he goes on his own and makes his own appointments. Would your DH go to an appointment you booked? Even if to just discuss options and to to no lose more teeth?

As a side, I cannot believe the amount of people who are happy to live with missing teeth! Yes, there is a cost for correction, but surely there is more of a cost to the existing teeth, eating, job prospects and overall general life?

I can't magic the money up
Mine is pretty far back - I have my canine then 2 more teeth before the missing one
It's not affected eating or job prospects because it's not visible