To be annoyed with my husband over his tooth

[bookworm8500]

My husband knocked a tooth out at work (don't ask!).
It's not at the very front, but one to the side of the front, so very obvious when he even talks, let alone smiles or laughs.

He's always taken pride in his appearance and still does....however....he is not planning on getting his tooth replaced with an implant or a bridge. We've got a dentist, we've got the money.

He hates anything medical and actively avoids the doctors etc and has been lucky he's been able to avoid them for most of his life.

It's genuinely really annoyed me and I can't understand why he wouldn't. It's aged him (he's 52) and it just looks awful.

AIBU to insist he goes to the dentist and gets it sorted?!

A tooth right at the front or at the back are very different and PP are being a bit disingenuous to say otherwise.

It would absolutely catch people off guard seeing someone with a front tooth missing and it would affect how attractive I found someone.

It would be the first thing anyone noticed, vs catching a glimpse if he yawned.

He needs to get it fixed because with time the other front teeth will start moving around.

I have had an implant as I lost a front tooth. I won't lie, I was nervous about it and it was expensive. But being at the very front it felt like there wasn't really a better alternative.

On the plus side mine really wasn't painful at any stage. During the procedure I was obviously completely numb and didn't feel a thing. I was bracing myself for pain and swelling after the local anaesthetic wore off, but really no discomfort. It was a bit of a faff for a few weeks using mouthwash and avoiding hard food until it healed. Also I had to use a temporary plate to fill the gap until the crown was fitted. But it was definitely worth it.

A tooth right at the front or at the back are very different and PP are being a bit disingenuous to say otherwise.

I've not said it isn't different.

I just don't think OP can comment on her DH not sorting his tooth when she hasn't sorted her own.

If the gap is visible then it’s embarrassing!

This.

once a tooth has fallen out. If nothing is put in its place, not only will the other teeth move, the gum where the tooth used to be, will recede. I learned this when I had an implant to replace a broken crown.

My daughter has a denture that's on a plate it suctions to the roof of her mouth, you can't tell its fake she can't even feel it at all, they just needed an impression of her teeth no needles or anything of that nature involved.

You've never given a thought to missing a front tooth?

you can see it when people smile, i can see mine which is one from the back easily in the mirror

Actually the back teeth are more important from a health view because they are what you use to chew. Missing molars causes other teeth to wear unevenly when grinding against them and causes movement in other teeth because they have nothing to push down on when chewing. Dentists always recommend replacing missing back teeth for this reason, it's really important for long term dental health.

So it's actually more important for OP to get her missing teeth replaced because there's an actual health reason and not just because her husband will find her unattractive. Which is quite unpleasant. Granted it doesn't look great but if my husband was ranting about me looking unattractive and how it enraged him I wasn't fixing it when he KNEW I am terrified of any medical procedures I would tell him to fuck off!

Where's the unconditional love and empathy? And yes, OP is a hypocrite for complaining when she won't fix her own teeth. But who cares if your teeth are actually healthy and functioning in the correct mechanical manner as long as they look nice right!?

You've made some great points re from a health perspective... But there's no such thing as unconditional love. It just doesn't exist.

The closest thing there is to it, is the love a mother has for their child, but there are still conditions.

Romantic unconditional love is nonsensical and usually used by abusers to try and force people to put up with their horrific treatment.

Using terms like "ranting" and "enraged" to describe OP is interesting. I think you may be projecting some rather extreme emotions onto the information she has provided us.

Some people on this thread are being very weird, of course teeth missing at the back are completely different to teeth at the front.

@bookworm8500 i hate dentists but managed to get a mini denture done when my canine needed removing.

if I didn’t get it treated all my teeth would start moving over time and I’d have gaps everywhere plus I’d look like a bloody yokel.

It’s easy to care for, easy to wear. Worst but was having a mould done that made me gip. It was less than 10 minutes of faffing.

Id point out what a bad example he’s setting to any children etc.

and I just wouldn’t want to be snogging that. The missing tooth would just weird me out but I know that’s my ‘ism’s’ talking.

I'm at a loss as to how kissing back teeth are commonly visible to people on this thread. I mean with a wide open yawn I suppose back teeth missing could be seen but otherwise it's simply not the case. My husband has missing back teeth and no one would know except his dentist as he never has a wide open mouth in everyday matters.

Op yanbu. A front tooth is so important and changes how a person looks, and how a person is perceived in society (regardless of whether they should be judged- they will be)

Of course a missing front tooth is more visible but this is Mumsnet. If there's a place to argue black is white, then this is it.

Exactly, I've never noticed back teeth missing..

@ginasevern Very true 😂

Really!!! You've never thought about a missing tooth from the front of your mouth!!! 😱

Nobody actually said they were the same, though.

What people have said is that missing back teeth are still visible (though granted, not as visible) and that it's a bit off for OP to criticise her DH for not fixing his teeth when she's done nothing to fix her own.

This is sad. I lost the same tooth when I was still with my DP. I was mortified at the time (hid all mirrors in the house), but I have made peace with my gap. A lot of people have them now as they can't afford to get an implant/denture/bridge. I can't afford to get it sorted and have no NHS dentist, and because I am ok with it now, it would be an unnecessary expense in my eyes.
I also know I would not be able to cope with something "foreign" in my mouth, if that makes sense?
My DP does not care. If he did to the point he was posting about it online, then I would be well rid of him.

If he ignores the issue, it is very likely that the two teeth either side of the gap will also fall out. You have to maintain the bone structure when a gap forms - if not, the bone will continue to deteriorate. There are lots of options, but to leave it …..you will have a husband that looks like a pirate!

I have a few teeth missing, and the teeth either side of the gap have never been in danger of falling out.
If it is something like periodontal disease that caused tooth loss, then you have a point. A tooth being knocked out, no.

@biscuitsandbooks But you are saying they should be thought of as the same. They are TOTALLY different. The front is an issue so having back teeth missing doesn't mean she can't bring it up.

Not everyone is quite so hung upon what others think of their appearance

Same.
I am ok with my gap. I am not going to beg/borrow/steal cash to fix a gap I have no problem with.
The rest of me looks like crap anyway 😂