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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fencing or Do I live next door to Donald Trump?

80 replies

GrouachMacbeth · 09/02/2025 11:17

I'd appreciate your thoughts on this, bear with me.

A buys a house, a semi detached property. The estate agents leaflet and a note from the seller when you move in saying the fences in the not tiny garden are your responsibility and you are responsible for their upkeep, their maintenance and all aspects of care.
When you speak to B, the neighbours on one side you see a newish, well made fence about 6 feet tall. The neighbours B, say the fence is theirs, is built entirely on their property and it is about 5 cms on their property. They show plans, old fence posts and explain that the original fence had been in place for 80 years, had rusted, the wire was corroded and sharp. Children in the property had previously played on it and they had asked the person who sold the house to A to pay towards a new fence (they were absentee landlords). He had refused any requests to replace or contribute to a boundary fence: so they had built the fence themselves at their own cost on their property.

You are A - are you delighted that a fence dividing your garden from Bs garden and leave it, or do you try to convince yourself that the fence is your fence, despite the evidence?

Next, you,A are in your garden and B asks if they can access your garden at some time to paint the face of their fence as they are painting the other side and other fences. You decline, as you are still wondering what colour to gave your garden. B politely reminds you that the fence is theirs, on their property, but asks that you, A to discuss colours with B as some paint will fade through or mark edges. A agrees.

A few months later A is painting another wall which has been indicated as Bs property, paid for by B and on Bs side of the property line. B says "please do not paint my fence without my permission" A states it is a boundary wall, which B denies, pointing out that it is again entirely on their property. A says "I need to speak to your Man". B says she can deal with any issues as much as her husband and requests any painting or amendments to their property be in writing. A says "I don't want to talk to either of you ever ever again.

Do you A, apologise for painting their wall and agree to ask in writing or do you demand B apologise for upsetting them, and decline to talk to them, ever.

You are B. The fence needs to be painted on it's far side, the side you don't see, but is on your property and is obviously seen by A. A has refused you access to paint it from their side.

Your options seem to be -
stand on the 5 cms of your property, on the other side of the fence, holding onto the your fence with one hand, the paint brush with another and the paint pot with a third hand, whilst avoiding your big bum overhanging into As garden, or
climb a stepladder to roller the fences other side. You will not get as good looking a finish but, hey you don't see it and also-

do you paint it the same light brown your other fences are or do you do rainbow stripes as you suspect that A is not altogether on favour of diversity - or if you knew he was an Everton fan, paint it red?

Im being flippant with the last bit. Aye right.

Thank you for reading, any thoughts? ( Oh don't say move because you've upset a Man - ain't gonna).

OP posts:
godmum56 · 09/02/2025 12:24

TeamMandrake · 09/02/2025 12:06

Everyone here is unreasonable. A sounds rude. You don't get to dicate the colour of the other side of a boundary fence, just because you built it 5cm inside the boundary. How would you like it if A put up their own fence at the boundary, stopping you painting the other side of yours?

Edited

yes actually you do. if you own the fence then the neighbour can do NOTHING to it without your permission.

godmum56 · 09/02/2025 12:24

cansu · 09/02/2025 11:29

Fgs why do you need to paint the other side that you can't see? In any event I don't think a is under an obligation to let you on their side to paint it. Why are you creating a row about something like this? So odd.

to put a preservative on it.

godmum56 · 09/02/2025 12:25

OP I cannot make head or tail of your post.

DonaldJohnTrump · 09/02/2025 12:30

It's not me!
I don't fool around with flimsy ole fences.
I build WALLS.

HopelessHouseMaid · 09/02/2025 12:30

Lift the fence out, paint it, put it back in. Job done.

Brainstorm23 · 09/02/2025 12:31

Courtesy of ChatGPT

The text describes a dispute between two neighbors, the neighbor and the OP, over a fence and property boundaries. The neighbor moves into a house with a semi-detached garden and receives a notice that the fence is their responsibility. However, the OP claims the fence is on their property, providing evidence of its construction. The neighbor is unsure whether to accept the OP's version or maintain ownership of the fence. When the OP requests to access the neighbor's garden to paint the fence, the neighbor refuses, but later paints a wall that the OP claims is on their property, leading to further conflict. The OP is left to figure out how to paint the far side of the fence, considering various options and potential passive-aggressive gestures. The text asks for opinions on how the neighbor and the OP should handle the situation.

Mittens67 · 09/02/2025 12:34

I agree the A’s and B’s made this hard to follow but a few points from personal experience:
You have a legal right to access for essential works and maintaining your fence would be included in this. See Access to Neighbouring Land Act 1992. If your neighbour is too thick to grasp this you may need a court order and then request costs are awarded against them.
Your neighbour does not have the right to paint your fence. This would be criminal damage. Take photos now in case they paint it later and you need proof should you need to take a legal route. You could also fix an outdoor camera to focus along your boundary.
Deeds sometimes (but not always) have T on a boundary which shows whose responsibility it is to maintain a boundary. This does not prove ownership of any fence or that a fence is actually on the correct boundary.
The suggestion to unslot the fence panels (if they are that type which make that possible) paint and replace sounds a good one.
Neighbours can be hell. Good luck!

thescandalwascontained · 09/02/2025 12:36

TeamMandrake · 09/02/2025 12:06

Everyone here is unreasonable. A sounds rude. You don't get to dicate the colour of the other side of a boundary fence, just because you built it 5cm inside the boundary. How would you like it if A put up their own fence at the boundary, stopping you painting the other side of yours?

Edited

Yes, they do. Because it's NOT a boundary fence.

Hankunamatata · 09/02/2025 12:36

B owns the fence as its on their property why on earth didn't A let them in to paint it in the first place?

If you want A wants a different colour then build their own fence

godmum56 · 09/02/2025 12:39

thescandalwascontained · 09/02/2025 12:36

Yes, they do. Because it's NOT a boundary fence.

its wouldn't matter if it was a fence that marked a boundary (no such thing in the UK as a boundary fence although there can be shared ownership of a fence) Who owns the fence gets to say what can and cannot be done with it.

Hankunamatata · 09/02/2025 12:39

Tbh the fences when we moved in were crap. I paid for them all to be replaced and neighbours agreed as long as I paid. So put the fence posts on their side so I had the nice side. Iv painted my sides and neighbours have painted the other side. We are both careful we didn't bleed colours into each other's side.

user6432879631 · 09/02/2025 12:39

I think life is too short to be falling out with neighbours over painting a fence.

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 09/02/2025 12:41

By having the fence painted on both sides is maintenance to nake ut last longer. Should fence be allowed no maintenance it will begin to rot. At that point fence owner may just take it down and not bother to put a new one up. If you want a fence you will need to put it up and neighbour does not have to contribute leaving you in the same position you put ghem in originally.

godmum56 · 09/02/2025 12:41

user6432879631 · 09/02/2025 12:39

I think life is too short to be falling out with neighbours over painting a fence.

Me too. I have told my neighbour I will probs be replacing my fence this year and she can paint her side any colour she likes. Its the only stretch of fence I own around my garden (L shaped garden) and for all the rest I just do what the fence owners ask me to when they ask me.

madroid · 09/02/2025 12:42

Just paint your own side and leave the neighbour to do whatever on theirs. And try to get on.

Barabajagal · 09/02/2025 12:44

seven201 · 09/02/2025 12:09

B (the op) used to have a rubbish fence between gardens, owned by a previous landlord. Landlord didn't want to pay to fix it. So some time prior to A moving in B paid for and installed a new fence on their land next to the old crappy one. Crappy one was then removed.

A has painted a bit of wall (not fence?) that is technically B's a colour. B asked them to stop. A said I want to talk to man of house. B said no, just stop painting you nobber.

That's what I think happened?

I think just let A paint their side whatever colour they want but politely request they're careful to not let it drip through. You have to live next to them so don't want a big falling out?

Brilliant summary.

MrsMitford3 · 09/02/2025 12:52

I think this is one thing you can't blame on Donald Trump.

Very convoluted and annoying post and I lost the will to read in the middle.

Just say what's happening-def TLDR

thescandalwascontained · 09/02/2025 12:54

godmum56 · 09/02/2025 12:39

its wouldn't matter if it was a fence that marked a boundary (no such thing in the UK as a boundary fence although there can be shared ownership of a fence) Who owns the fence gets to say what can and cannot be done with it.

Exactly. A can't do anything to B's fence without B's permission.

HollyBerryz · 09/02/2025 12:54

Surely it's quite obvious it's not your fence as it's not on your property and you didn't pay for or install it.

They dont need to agree a colour with you as it's not your fence. So it's nice of them to offer. Although I also don't understand why they want to paint the side they can't see. Most fences are pressure treated for protection these days?

Is this boundary wall a wall to their house? I can't figure out if they've built this wall in the same way and for the same reasons they built the fence or it's different.

lindyloo57 · 09/02/2025 12:56

We had to fence our garden all round as other neighbours didn't bother and we had a dog at the time, one neighbour started to paint my fence a orange colour on his side, I said i didn't want my fence that colour, I explained if he wanted to paint it, please use the same colour I have on my side , he just left it, and have never painted it since.

Waterweight · 09/02/2025 12:57

I don't have the brain power to process this right now...
If the garden is large enough just build yourself a nice new fence on both sides & be done with it permanently

Whatsitreallylike · 09/02/2025 13:00

This is confusing! But the side of my neighbours fence that faces my garden was very much painted whatever colour I chose, and I wouldn’t have been pathetic enough to stop the other neighbour painting the side of the fence that faces their property and so on!

I think B is just being difficult. I also expect they also had problems with the previous neighbour given the note situation!

Crazybaby123 · 09/02/2025 13:00

We just paint our side the colour we like and the neighbours paint their side the colours they like. I don't see why with careful painting it will drip through. Our neighbours one side have done black. Neighbours the other side have white and we have brown.

anyolddinosaur · 09/02/2025 13:01

The fence doesnt need to be painted. However you can lean over and spray it with preservative if you are really that worried.

Sapienza · 09/02/2025 13:03

The sensible solution here is to let the neighbour paint their side whatever colour they please but politely request they're careful to not let it drip through.

However, the OP has so few problems to concern her that she needs to create problems. She cannot pass on a dispute like this with a neighbour as it is guaranteed to cause a litany of issues.

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