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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fencing or Do I live next door to Donald Trump?

80 replies

GrouachMacbeth · 09/02/2025 11:17

I'd appreciate your thoughts on this, bear with me.

A buys a house, a semi detached property. The estate agents leaflet and a note from the seller when you move in saying the fences in the not tiny garden are your responsibility and you are responsible for their upkeep, their maintenance and all aspects of care.
When you speak to B, the neighbours on one side you see a newish, well made fence about 6 feet tall. The neighbours B, say the fence is theirs, is built entirely on their property and it is about 5 cms on their property. They show plans, old fence posts and explain that the original fence had been in place for 80 years, had rusted, the wire was corroded and sharp. Children in the property had previously played on it and they had asked the person who sold the house to A to pay towards a new fence (they were absentee landlords). He had refused any requests to replace or contribute to a boundary fence: so they had built the fence themselves at their own cost on their property.

You are A - are you delighted that a fence dividing your garden from Bs garden and leave it, or do you try to convince yourself that the fence is your fence, despite the evidence?

Next, you,A are in your garden and B asks if they can access your garden at some time to paint the face of their fence as they are painting the other side and other fences. You decline, as you are still wondering what colour to gave your garden. B politely reminds you that the fence is theirs, on their property, but asks that you, A to discuss colours with B as some paint will fade through or mark edges. A agrees.

A few months later A is painting another wall which has been indicated as Bs property, paid for by B and on Bs side of the property line. B says "please do not paint my fence without my permission" A states it is a boundary wall, which B denies, pointing out that it is again entirely on their property. A says "I need to speak to your Man". B says she can deal with any issues as much as her husband and requests any painting or amendments to their property be in writing. A says "I don't want to talk to either of you ever ever again.

Do you A, apologise for painting their wall and agree to ask in writing or do you demand B apologise for upsetting them, and decline to talk to them, ever.

You are B. The fence needs to be painted on it's far side, the side you don't see, but is on your property and is obviously seen by A. A has refused you access to paint it from their side.

Your options seem to be -
stand on the 5 cms of your property, on the other side of the fence, holding onto the your fence with one hand, the paint brush with another and the paint pot with a third hand, whilst avoiding your big bum overhanging into As garden, or
climb a stepladder to roller the fences other side. You will not get as good looking a finish but, hey you don't see it and also-

do you paint it the same light brown your other fences are or do you do rainbow stripes as you suspect that A is not altogether on favour of diversity - or if you knew he was an Everton fan, paint it red?

Im being flippant with the last bit. Aye right.

Thank you for reading, any thoughts? ( Oh don't say move because you've upset a Man - ain't gonna).

OP posts:
ScaryGrotbag · 09/02/2025 11:22

Rainbow stripes. Whilst wearing pointe shoes to ensure feet don't encroach upon their property.

jeaux90 · 09/02/2025 11:26

Build another fence on your actual boundary/land and paint it camouflage whilst dressed in combats.

cansu · 09/02/2025 11:29

Fgs why do you need to paint the other side that you can't see? In any event I don't think a is under an obligation to let you on their side to paint it. Why are you creating a row about something like this? So odd.

Shakeyourbaublesandsmile · 09/02/2025 11:32

What?

Is this a fence dispute, boundary dispute or colour paint dispute

I need to have a lie down

curtaintwitcher78 · 09/02/2025 11:36

Trying to read that made my eyes swivel. No idea wtf is going on.

BaronessBomburst · 09/02/2025 11:36

Take the fence panels out.
Paint them.
Put them back.

Seeline · 09/02/2025 11:44

Can you retell the story - leave out the As and Bs and just what you've done and what your neighbours have done?
So confused!

Mochudubh · 09/02/2025 11:48

I think we need a diagram.

RogueFemale · 09/02/2025 11:49

@GrouachMacbeth A few months later A is painting another wall which has been indicated as Bs property, paid for by B and on Bs side of the property line. B says "please do not paint my fence without my permission" A states it is a boundary wall, which B denies, pointing out that it is again entirely on their property.

When you say 'wall' do you mean 'fence'?

PlanningTowns · 09/02/2025 11:50

Very confusing!

if fence panels as other have said take them out, paint and replace.

however why bother painting them? They should be treated and therefore stand up to the weather. Paint your side, if it drips and looks awful you can’t see it.

in terms of the wall - was it already painted? If so then I really couldn’t give a fig if the neighbour repainted it and I could never see it.

the estate agents leaflet and sellers ‘word’ mean nothing in this situations.

tanstaafl · 09/02/2025 11:51

BaronessBomburst · 09/02/2025 11:36

Take the fence panels out.
Paint them.
Put them back.

This , assuming it’s panels between posts.
Do you mean paint ( a colour ) or treat ( weatherproofing ) ?

Doloresparton · 09/02/2025 11:54

We asked our ndn's permission to paint our side of their fence.
Sorted.

Why do people look for disputes where none need to be had.

ThisAintNoPartyThisAintNoDisco · 09/02/2025 11:58

I couldn’t quite follow it all sorry, but regardless of notes from people saying (or assuming) who owns what, I think you need to look at the deeds for clarification

BettyBardMacDonald · 09/02/2025 11:58

cansu · 09/02/2025 11:29

Fgs why do you need to paint the other side that you can't see? In any event I don't think a is under an obligation to let you on their side to paint it. Why are you creating a row about something like this? So odd.

This.

Why do you need to paint it?

You should have painted the panels before they were installed if it's that big of a deal.

Or a least let A choose the colour and a convenient time for you to be faffing about in their garden.

KezzaMucklowe · 09/02/2025 12:01

I think it would be less confusing if you just posted the situation from your perspective.

TeamMandrake · 09/02/2025 12:06

Everyone here is unreasonable. A sounds rude. You don't get to dicate the colour of the other side of a boundary fence, just because you built it 5cm inside the boundary. How would you like it if A put up their own fence at the boundary, stopping you painting the other side of yours?

IWillAlwaysBeinaClubWithYouin1973 · 09/02/2025 12:06

I couldn't follow that at all sorry.

seven201 · 09/02/2025 12:09

B (the op) used to have a rubbish fence between gardens, owned by a previous landlord. Landlord didn't want to pay to fix it. So some time prior to A moving in B paid for and installed a new fence on their land next to the old crappy one. Crappy one was then removed.

A has painted a bit of wall (not fence?) that is technically B's a colour. B asked them to stop. A said I want to talk to man of house. B said no, just stop painting you nobber.

That's what I think happened?

I think just let A paint their side whatever colour they want but politely request they're careful to not let it drip through. You have to live next to them so don't want a big falling out?

fallingrocks · 09/02/2025 12:09

What a confusing post. Stop with the A and B and just write it as it is.

MistyF · 09/02/2025 12:11

I think you need proper law advice. Especially if your neighb. and you don't agree who owns the fence.

MistyF · 09/02/2025 12:14

seven201 · 09/02/2025 12:09

B (the op) used to have a rubbish fence between gardens, owned by a previous landlord. Landlord didn't want to pay to fix it. So some time prior to A moving in B paid for and installed a new fence on their land next to the old crappy one. Crappy one was then removed.

A has painted a bit of wall (not fence?) that is technically B's a colour. B asked them to stop. A said I want to talk to man of house. B said no, just stop painting you nobber.

That's what I think happened?

I think just let A paint their side whatever colour they want but politely request they're careful to not let it drip through. You have to live next to them so don't want a big falling out?

  • they deny ownership or legality of the fence while also painting fence they didn't bought, themselves
DeffoNeedANameChange · 09/02/2025 12:15

I sympathise that your previous neighbour refused to maintain their fence. But when you took it upon yourself to put up a new fence, this was always a likely consequence. Just because it's "fully on your property" doesn't give you the automatic right to access the far side through your neighbour's garden.

Ultimately, this feels like a scenario where you're going to fall out with your new NDN over "the principle of the thing" with no actual tangible benefit to yourself. Your neighbour could put up their own fence directly on the boundary, touching your fence, and then no one would ever be able to get at your fence to paint/treat it, and your neighbour would be able to paint their fence whatever colour they want - no benefit to you, except your neighbour is now also out of pocket (although it feels like you probably would consider this a benefit...)

DeffoNeedANameChange · 09/02/2025 12:16

Do you want NDN to pay to have the whole fence moved 5cm back to where it belongs, even though they never put it there in the first place? And then you'll be happy for them to paint it whatever colour they want?

Who do you expect will pay for repairs to this new fence?

Wakeywake · 09/02/2025 12:18

Do you really want to fall out with your neighbours over the colour of the paint? If they put their own fence up on their side you wouldn't be able to paint that side anyway.

Cookiesandcandies · 09/02/2025 12:20

This is hard to read.

I’m like B, I needed to fence boundaries that weren’t “mine” on 3 sides so fenced slightly into my garden. I think I’m fine to paint my side of the fence, but wouldn’t dream of painting the side facing away from me that borders onto my neighbours gardens… and if it was the other way round I certainly wouldn’t be letting them into my garden to paint their fence. I also wouldn’t allow any neighbour to paint my fence, so they would have to live with the naked wood look.