Would you let him in?

[HEIHEI23]

Last night, I heard someone knocking on the door at 3am. Thought I'd imagined it but then it happened again. I woke my husband and he said I'd dreamt it until it happened again! I looked out the window and there was a man walking round the street looking panicked and I could hear him on the phone to his mum.
I opened the window and shouted him over and he said someone had just tried to stab him on his way home from the pub and he needed help.
My husband went to let him in and he basically said he'd been jumped by four lads who had knives and he'd ran off but didn't want to walk home incase he saw them again. He was middle aged and obviously had a few drinks! He waited with him until his taxi came and then he left and came back to bed. The man took our details for when he spoke to police when he got home.

Since waking up this morning some of my friends have been saying we were mad to let him in at that time and now I'm curious as to what others think 😂

So AIBU?
Yes - what were you thinking? I wouldn't have let him in.
No - I would have let him in too

And what if the men with knives find out where he's gone and then they're in YOUR house and it's now become YOUR problem and YOU and YOUR children are now in danger. Yes help people if you can but have some common sense and don't put yourself at risk.

You did the right thing.

Nobody is going to make me feel guilty for saying I wouldn’t open the door to a stranger at 3am telling me he was being chased by a group of men with knives. I’d call the police for him, i’d be happy with DP going out to wait with him, I would allow him to hide on the front or down the side of my home and I would keep a look out until I knew he was safe.

But the safety of absolutely nobody on this earth will ever come above the safety of my daughter.

I also live in quite a rough area and there are scum bags everywhere.

As a woman living alone with two young adult DDs, no, I wouldn't have let him in. He had a phone. He should have called the police, or a taxi, not his mum.

But all those people saying they wouldn't let him in aren't saying that they wouldn't help.
As I said, I would call the police. That is helping.
I am concerned that he didn't seem to want to report this immediately (to prevent this gang hurting someone else or targeting him) and the OP also didn't want to call the police either despite letting a stranger into the house with no idea if what they are saying is true.

Since talking about it this morning, we aren't sure if he had some sort of additional needs which is why he was ringing his mum when he was probably about 45. My husband said when he was talking to him he thought he might have.

He had a phone. He should have called the police, or a taxi, not his mum.

Yes, why didn't he call a taxi to get away? And then the police. I find that strange.

Yes, they do. Just because the two times you were robbed they didn’t, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

Sometimes it’s people just assuming they can fight/barge past whoever opens the door, sometimes it’s pretending to need the toilet, people pretending to be from the local council/HA repairs team, pretending to be salesmen, pretending to be really poorly or just like this situation could have been, pretending to be in danger.

Middle aged man drunk, sounds like a random mugging rather than targeted attack, I probably would, young male with dark clothing, hood, etc probably not, as bad as that sounds it would be more likely to be a targeted attack and if they hadn't achieved their aim the first time they would be looking for him, also he'd be more likely to be carrying a weapon himself.
Also DH and I both work in criminal justice so are used to dealing with this kind of thing. I wouldn't expect most people to.

ETA I would've called police immediately

I probably wouldn't have allowed him in because my vulnerable teenager is here. I may have gone outside with my partner to check the situation but it depend on my assessment of the situation at the time. Prior to having a child I'd intervened on many occasions when there were violent altercations. Last year I prevented a man being attacked by a group of around 10 - 12 young men in their early 20s, though that was different because I was with the man when it happened and didn't make a conscious decision to put myself in the middle of it.

I've seen too much violence in my lifetime to throw myself to the wolves and hope for the best these days though. If that makes me a coward then so be it, I'd sooner be an alive coward than a dead hero.

One night we had a random person knocking on the door and my husband went to answer (we live in the middle of nowhere surrounded by fields). The next thing I heard was the door closing and a car leaving the driveway! I was panicking that he'd been kidnapped or something.

A while later, my husband came home and said that he'd given the guy a lift home. I was so annoyed that he didn't tell me where he was going or take his phone with him. The man at the door had apparently fallen out with his wife visiting someone at the hospital and couldn't get a taxi home. So he'd walked over the fields to try and get to his village (15 miles away) and had gotten lost. So weird!

It depends. There are many factors looking at a situation like that via windows/cameras/knowing your area/etc.

I probably wouldn't have opened the door if I was home alone, unless I recognised him and 'knew' him to some degree, but I would have called the police for help.

My teenage boys and their friends are more than capable of looking after themselves and others, and actually have helped someone in a similar situation recently; if they'd have been home, I'd have woken them up and had him come in while we called for help.

If Dh was in we’d have let him in without a seconds thought. If i were on my own I’d assess the situation and possibly, I don’t know.

A shooting is uncommon. Drug dealing/county lines and associated criminality/violence is extremely common.

Alone or with kids in the house I'd have found another way to help him (maybe in your car, or garden out of sight of anyone looking for him) but in your situation with your dh in the house as well then I'd 100% have done the same.

Not a chance. I'd ring the police, watch over him from the window, chuck him a blanket. I wouldn't let a drunk, strange man into my house in any circumstances, even less so if other violent men might be looking for him. No good deed etc etc...

I’d have gone out to help him, assessed the situation and the state he was in, and then yes, assuming I was reasonably sure he was genuine, I would have let him in. Even if I was at home on my own.

I completely understand why a lot of people wouldn’t, and I wouldn’t judge them for that. But without going into detail, I have a good track record of being able to assess people in those kinds of situations and can also hold my own in most physical altercations.

As a single parent with a young daughter here, I wouldn't have let him in. I would have probably called the police for him and carried on talking to him out of the window.

It sounds to me that he has some sort of vulnerability like a learning disability.

If he’s part of a group of say 4 men and this is a plan to get in people’s houses do you not think they could attack you on the street or force their way past you whilst you’re outside? Not being harsh but you sat outside with him and a cup of tea is just as dangerous as letting him in.

If alone I wouldn't let him in but would hand him a cup of tea to drink outside.

If DH was home he would probably let him in or go out and join him. We had something similar a few months ago. Unknown to us some dogs had escaped and were hanging around our garden at 3 or 4 am. Two local teenage lads on their way home from a party found them and rang the bell to ask if they were ours. They weren't, DH joined them to catch the dogs and put them in the garage until the owners could be located, then ended up having a beer or two with the teens who as it turned out were off of their heads on coke. They offered DH some but he isn't into that sort of thing so refused and wandered back in around 5am stinking of dog and beer.

Dogs were reunited with very embarrassed owner the next morning having pissed all over the garage. 😡DH arose from bed around noon.