Is this speech delay in a 24 months ?

[Firstimemum24]

My 24 DD has lots of words , uses 2 / 3 word sentences to express her needs , can answer simple where’s , what’s question by either pointing or using the correct word , who’s simple question but can’t make a choice between two options . If I ask her open ended questions like : What do you want or which one ? She answers yes . She can’t understand questions like “ what did you do today etc
she can understand instructions like : get dolly and bring it to mummy , put food on the plate , take your socks off etc . She uses a bit of jargon as well .
she also has some learned phrases . If something scares her she says “ don’t worry, it is all good “ that she learned from us or if she throws a toy she looks at me and says “ sorry “ . I know scripting and echolalia are a red flag that needs looking into . I have expressed my concerned to the HV who put in a referral to the speech therapist and paediatrician that was denied on the basis that there is nothing atypical in her language development.
am I worrying too much ?

I struggle to choose between two things that I want and I'm a grown up!

Why does she have to choose between her dolly and her bunny?

Perhaps it's not that she doesn't understand, she just can't yet tell you what a stupid question it is?!

Hi
I honestly don’t think I am becoming obsessive over this . I am just trying to get some perspective here . My little one has other traits like not wanting ever to join activities with other kids , let alone the activity itself and we have been trying since she was 16 months .

Well if you try to make your 2 year old behave like a 4 year old you are going to find her lacking.

But you do come across this way. You don't seem to account for the fact your daughter is an individual with her own personality who will develop at her own rate. The way you describe her sounds like she's some sort of labatory rat who is having every single minute behaviour and interaction over analysed and scrutinised to meet some sort of insane expectation you have a 2 year old to think she's "normal"

All of us have been first time mums and worry about development but there would be clear red flags by now if there was anything to be concerned about and everything you post doesn't indicate this. It just simply isn't normal or healthy to watch your daughter have a pretend phone call and think "what is the GLP process meant to be here".

You have incredibly high expectations for a 2 year old. You post on historic threads constantly wanting update. Thread after thread of long lists of what a varied diet your child eats yet you seem to think this indicates a sensory eating disorder. Thinking they have adhd because they don't sit still (normal for a toddler), thinking they have autism because they don't join in an activity or are nervous around new people which is again normal toddler behaviour. Over analysing her decision making and what choices she makes.

Absolutely none of this is healthy or in the realm of normal anxiety for a parent. And I speak as someone who had anxiety. Rather than obsessively seeking reassurance snd reading articles, the best way you can support your daughter, is come offline, engage and play with your daughter without scrutinising every behaviour and seek support and help for your anxiety.

I understand your point but , for example , on the food front she eats a good variety because I feed her most of the time . She wouldn’t touch it otherwise . We are still struggling with cutlery

It's not unusual at all for children of that age to prefer to play alongside other children rather than with them. I have twins and they didn't play together until they were 3 or 4 and then they could maybe go 30 minutes to an hour before a row developed.

One of my DC didn't say anything at all until they turned two and suddenly started talking in sentences. Starting with several words and gradually building is a smooth development pattern, sudden jagged development steps can be a sign of autism and indeed my DC got a late autism diagnosis as a teenager.

Kindly OP, I’m not sure you understand what a speech delay is. Have you had a look at where a typically developing 2 year old should ideally be? In your post you’ve pretty much described it. Understanding wh questions is a major milestone that your DC has already reached.

Choosing between two things can be a very abstract thing for some children to grasp as a concept. Especially if they’re two motivators. You could try and take something completely non-motivating, such as a tea towel, and then take a doll and just place the doll further forwards as you give your DC the ‘choice’, and in theory this is errorless choice.

My 3.5 year old has an overall significant communication delay and very atypical language acquisition, so if I were in your position I wouldn’t be worried at this point in time. All children have their individual personalities and don’t go by the book. From 2-4 years language can also really explode. Just keep speaking and reading and using everyday language and she’ll pick it up.

2 year olds rarely use cutlery. I think you are unreasonable.

FFS she's only 24 months!!! You sound neurotic, please go to the GP and get some help.

OP it sounds as though reassurance isn’t really making any difference to how you are viewing this. I’ve noticed that whenever anyone gives you sound advice about how literally everything you’ve described is just normal, you say thank you but then list a completely unrelated (and still normal) aspects of a 2 year old.

stranger danger is good and normal, being silly and getting excited and talking gibberish is the exact description of what a 2 yo should be doing, not being able to use cutlery (especially when a parent sits and feeds them), having specific food preferences and fussy eating, copying sentences, being unable to choose when given options .. literally normal. I honestly don’t know what you are implying you think is wrong when you describe these things. If your child had a severe Learning disability you would have more indication of this by now. I wasn’t sure if you were alluding to that you thought your child had autism in your posts to begin with but actually you’re not describing anything we would be thinking about for that. No evidence of speech delay. Referrals rejected for there being no reason for the referral.. what do you think will change your mind?

Do you think it might be better to go to speak to someone about how you manage your anxiety? Because you can guarantee that putting this pressure on your child (which they will pick up on) will eventually lead to them having problems (mental health or behavioural and relational), even when there was nothing wrong in the first place. The very thing you’re so desperate to avoid is the thing that will end up happening because of the way you are approaching it.

I am just trying to understand my little one .
she doesn’t look like the typical toddler in that she is quirky . I am suspecting High functioning because some of her traits I have never seen in other kids . She uses delayed echolalia when greeting her dad from work . She looks at him and says “ where is the hole ? There is was a hole in her cot a few months ago and he would say to her “ where is the hole gone ? and she would always ask him “ where is the hole ?
is it something you see often ?

At 24 months some dc have no language and many only have one word at a time speech. Please don't worry

OP, the very post you were responding to pointed out how you scatter off to another thing you might be worried about...

(this particular one is your daughter reinforcing the special relationship she has with her daddy by repetition of their little in-joke - whether that's neurotypical for being aware of social mores or neurodivergent for focusing on tiny details who knows)

Anyway, if there is something Quirky going on, the best thing you can do is meet your child where she is. If she wants to have an in-joke with daddy, that's lovely. If she wants to have imaginary phone conversations, that's great! (particularly when you look at the stats on the number of young people who Can't Talk On The Phone ) If she wants to recite things over and over, teach her a plethora of nursery rhymes and songs and poems. If she'd rather play by herself than join in a game with someone else, don't force it.

I don't think there's anything anyone can say to reassure the OP at this point . The reassurance just seems to be feeding the anxiety. OP please get help from your doctor for your own mental health and stop obsessing over normal 2 yo behaviour.

"delayed echolalia"? This is doing my head in, I'm hiding the thread.

OP so many people have taken time to reassure you and you just ignore it all and ping off into something else your daughter hasn't completely evidenced mastery of yet. You quoted @Laoise542 but you seem to have ignored a lot of her post in your focus on cutlery, so I'm just going to remind you of her final paragraph:

"Absolutely none of this is healthy or in the realm of normal anxiety for a parent. And I speak as someone who had anxiety. Rather than obsessively seeking reassurance snd reading articles, the best way you can support your daughter, is come offline, engage and play with your daughter without scrutinising every behaviour and seek support and help for your anxiety."

I remember your previous thread. Going away now.

It's like you want something to be wrong when there's nothing wrong! Get a grip!