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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate the "Mental Health" brigade.

196 replies

IAKnowyou · 06/02/2025 17:46

It is becoming increasingly clear that many people do not know how to articulate a sentence. Especially on social media.
I am seeing - more and more, people claiming they "suffer from mental health".
Of course you bloody do. Everybody has "mental health"!! What you mean is that you have BAD mental health! That you are struggling WITH your mental health.
Some of the common phrases I DESPISE are as follows :
"I have/ I've got mental health"
"If you suffer from mental health..."
"He/She/They have got mental health"
"Mental Health can happen to anyone"
"I have severe mental health"
Just add a little something to the end such as "issues, problems, struggles" and you'll be good. But PLEASE for the love of god, learn to speak properly !!

OP posts:
Cynic17 · 07/02/2025 18:14

You are not wrong, OP. Current standards in grammar - and communication generally - are pretty appalling.

IAKnowyou · 07/02/2025 18:17

@VegLedge That would be because no matter what I personally struggle with, I am still allowed to have things that irk the bejeesus out of me.
Especially since I have to sometimes disclose things to people about my mental wellbeing. (Not to get my own way of course) only when necessary. I'd never start it with "So because I have mental health" ... I would feel utterly stupid !

OP posts:
IAKnowyou · 07/02/2025 18:19

Locutus2000 · 07/02/2025 18:10

What a petty load of shit, seriously.

If someone refers to having 'mental health' or blood pressure it obviously means they have a problem with it.

The 'mental health professionals' complaining should be fucking ashamed. Clearly you haven't worked with patients from the lowest socioeconomic backgrounds.

Yes but what exactly is the problem ... that's the question here.
If somebody says they "have blood pressure" that's like saying "I have a head" when they mean headACHE.

OP posts:
VegLedge · 07/02/2025 18:23

Interesting choice of words in brackets OP, especially considering that’s how your previous post about you having anxiety read.

Especially since I have to sometimes disclose things to people about my mental wellbeing. (Not to get my own way of course)

gotmyknickersinatwist · 07/02/2025 18:40

VegLedge · 07/02/2025 17:53

You edited my words and didn’t quote my whole post.

and yes, lucky you 🙄

Edited

If by edited you mean I disregarded the words 'And this is' from your opening sentence 'And this is why a lot of people choose not to talk about their mental health issues and kill themselves instead.' then yes, guilty as charged.

I copied and pasted 'why a lot of people choose not to talk about their mental health issues and kill themselves instead.'

I had already quoted your whole post when I replied 'Nonsense.'
I was elaborating on how I firmly believed what you had written was nonsense, after your 'Thanks for your insightful reply 🙄'.

I still think it's nonsense.

TriesNotToBeCynical · 07/02/2025 19:28

Boomer55 · 07/02/2025 15:23

Everyone’s “mental health” whacks up and down, depending on what’s going on their life. 🤷‍♀️

Exactly. That is why it is so stupid to tell people who are depressed or suicidal that they suffer from their "mental health". They need to realise they have an actual mental illness that can be treated, rather than "mental health" that can go "up or down". How can one seek treatment for "health"?

NeelyOHara1 · 07/02/2025 19:43

People who "announce" it are rarely the most vulnerable, I'd hazard a guess.

L1ghtP0ur · 07/02/2025 19:50

I frankly couldn’t give a stuff how anybody phrases it. Those battling as hard as my kids have nothing but my admiration, whittering on about phrasing is just piffle.

TriesNotToBeCynical · 07/02/2025 20:11

L1ghtP0ur · 07/02/2025 19:50

I frankly couldn’t give a stuff how anybody phrases it. Those battling as hard as my kids have nothing but my admiration, whittering on about phrasing is just piffle.

I see what you mean, but names are important. It is all part of de-professionalisation of what used to be a psychiatric service and has now become a 'mental health' service where most people never see a specialist doctor and is staffed mainly by nurses, untrained assistants and counsellors.

Maverickess · 07/02/2025 20:35

MaryPopcorn · 07/02/2025 01:14

@Maverickess "Why can't people just be honest and admit they're a bit disgusted by mental illness?"

Because I don't think they are.

IMO many people (like me) are fed up with it being used as an excuse for all sorts of negative behaviour ranging from claiming they are unable to work to knife attacks.

Years ago many badly behaved children were given a diagnosis of ADHD when much of it was down to poor parenting.

Mental health seems to be "flavour of the month" at the moment. There are thousands of people who reckon they can't work because of it, and blame it on Covid Lockdowns.

Some of us may be able to remember the popularity of "Glue Ear" in children. One can only speculate how many poor kids got grommets fitted when they didn't need them.🙄

Mental illness existed long before covid, I struggled through the lockdowns, more because I was working in social care for most of the time, than the lockdowns themselves.
I was sectioned 20 years before covid happened, and yes what I experienced through it affected my mental health, mental health that was already fragile to some degree from previous illness. But from the outside looking in you'd just see someone who's not resilient enough, using excuses because you don't know the previous issues, nor care, it's just an opportunity to air your grievances with life at the expense of someone else. (Not you personally, generic you)

I also posted on another thread about disability about how although we are demanding as a society that disabled people and those with mental health issues etc should stop using it as an excuse and get out to work.

People won't accept it though when in practice because it may affect them in the moment and they're not having that. The autistic cashier who doesn't make eye contact or small talk is rude and shouldn't be in that job if they can't be polite, for example. The symptoms of someone's mental illness, condition or disability isn't going to stop happening, no matter how much you shout at them. And if people won't tolerate the symptoms of these illnesses/conditions/disabilities affecting them individually , then what? Where do these excuse makers work? Because they must work, but just not anywhere that it might affect someone's 'experience' of buying a pint of milk.

Of course people fake mental illness, they fake physical illness too, people have been known to fake cancer, or other life limiting illnesses, it's hardly a new phenomenon.
But are people automatically sceptical of someone saying they have it, because someone else swung the lead? And feel utterly justified in saying that? Judge every little nuance, including the language used and demand 'proof'? Tell them they're making excuses for not having a job? Or claiming benefits?
No, because that would be unacceptable, it's acceptable with metal illness though, encouraged even.

Mental illness should never be used to excuse poor, violent, aggressive behaviour. It can be an explanation for said behaviour though. There's a difference between excusing something and explaining it.
Violent people with mental health issues are removed from society, it's why things like sections and places like Broadmoor exist. It's not like we go "Oh, you're psychotic, off you pop then'.

What it boils down to is people's feelings towards mental illness and their inability to square the way they feel with wanting to appear like a good person at the same time, in their own head. It might not be disgust, it might be annoyance, fear, or just an opportunity for one upmanship. That's certainly all ridiculing people's language is, a feeling of superiority over someone else - what other reason is there really?

People say it doesn't make sense, but clearly every single person who's commented here about the use of 'I have mental health' knows what is meant by it, because they wouldn't have a gripe about it if they didn't. So the only reason for highlighting it and the language used around it is to belittle someone else and feel superior, because it's not genuine lack of understanding.

TriesNotToBeCynical · 07/02/2025 20:53

Maverickess · 07/02/2025 20:35

Mental illness existed long before covid, I struggled through the lockdowns, more because I was working in social care for most of the time, than the lockdowns themselves.
I was sectioned 20 years before covid happened, and yes what I experienced through it affected my mental health, mental health that was already fragile to some degree from previous illness. But from the outside looking in you'd just see someone who's not resilient enough, using excuses because you don't know the previous issues, nor care, it's just an opportunity to air your grievances with life at the expense of someone else. (Not you personally, generic you)

I also posted on another thread about disability about how although we are demanding as a society that disabled people and those with mental health issues etc should stop using it as an excuse and get out to work.

People won't accept it though when in practice because it may affect them in the moment and they're not having that. The autistic cashier who doesn't make eye contact or small talk is rude and shouldn't be in that job if they can't be polite, for example. The symptoms of someone's mental illness, condition or disability isn't going to stop happening, no matter how much you shout at them. And if people won't tolerate the symptoms of these illnesses/conditions/disabilities affecting them individually , then what? Where do these excuse makers work? Because they must work, but just not anywhere that it might affect someone's 'experience' of buying a pint of milk.

Of course people fake mental illness, they fake physical illness too, people have been known to fake cancer, or other life limiting illnesses, it's hardly a new phenomenon.
But are people automatically sceptical of someone saying they have it, because someone else swung the lead? And feel utterly justified in saying that? Judge every little nuance, including the language used and demand 'proof'? Tell them they're making excuses for not having a job? Or claiming benefits?
No, because that would be unacceptable, it's acceptable with metal illness though, encouraged even.

Mental illness should never be used to excuse poor, violent, aggressive behaviour. It can be an explanation for said behaviour though. There's a difference between excusing something and explaining it.
Violent people with mental health issues are removed from society, it's why things like sections and places like Broadmoor exist. It's not like we go "Oh, you're psychotic, off you pop then'.

What it boils down to is people's feelings towards mental illness and their inability to square the way they feel with wanting to appear like a good person at the same time, in their own head. It might not be disgust, it might be annoyance, fear, or just an opportunity for one upmanship. That's certainly all ridiculing people's language is, a feeling of superiority over someone else - what other reason is there really?

People say it doesn't make sense, but clearly every single person who's commented here about the use of 'I have mental health' knows what is meant by it, because they wouldn't have a gripe about it if they didn't. So the only reason for highlighting it and the language used around it is to belittle someone else and feel superior, because it's not genuine lack of understanding.

Personally it is not the people who use the expression about themselves that I want to "belittle", it is the "mental health" services themselves that have encouraged this odd change of usage. After all the patients are only using the terms the services and media have encouraged them to use. I think it is a counter-productive usage.

XenoBitch · 07/02/2025 20:55

I think it is just pedantic to get annoyed at this, tbh. When people go on about their mental health, you know exactly what they mean.
And it seems a little in poor to taste to bring it up on Time to Talk day.

VegLedge · 07/02/2025 21:24

gotmyknickersinatwist · 07/02/2025 18:40

If by edited you mean I disregarded the words 'And this is' from your opening sentence 'And this is why a lot of people choose not to talk about their mental health issues and kill themselves instead.' then yes, guilty as charged.

I copied and pasted 'why a lot of people choose not to talk about their mental health issues and kill themselves instead.'

I had already quoted your whole post when I replied 'Nonsense.'
I was elaborating on how I firmly believed what you had written was nonsense, after your 'Thanks for your insightful reply 🙄'.

I still think it's nonsense.

If it helps you to sleep at night to think its nonsense I’m not going to argue because obviously my post triggered you somehow.

Serencwtch · 07/02/2025 21:35

IAKnowyou · 07/02/2025 18:05

I also have mental health struggles and diagnosed anxiety. I don't "have mental health" though.

I have schizoaffective disorder, have been sectioned many times etc so 'real, hardcore mental elf'

If that's how I want to talk about then that's okay - usually I say 'its just mental 'ealth' and a shrug. Most people I've been in hospital with are the same.

If you want to talk about your 'struggles' and 'diagnosis' that's also fine but don't judge or degrade anyone else's experiences or ability to articulate.

Ilovetowander · 07/02/2025 21:51

I think there is big difference between those people with a clear diagnosed condition and those who use the term "my mental health" as an excuse. The later ground create problems for the former group. There is a need for greater resilience, we all face problems and issues and need to at time learn that life has its ups and downs as that is life.

XenoBitch · 07/02/2025 22:00

Ilovetowander · 07/02/2025 21:51

I think there is big difference between those people with a clear diagnosed condition and those who use the term "my mental health" as an excuse. The later ground create problems for the former group. There is a need for greater resilience, we all face problems and issues and need to at time learn that life has its ups and downs as that is life.

OP is on about people saying "mental health" instead of "mental health problems/illness".

And no one with mental health issues are diagnosed until they see a professional. In the mean time, they still have the same struggles, and is wrong to dismiss them just because they have not had a stamp from a GP.

SparklyNewMe · 07/02/2025 22:05

Well, this week I have learnt that DH is a trained MH first aider at work. I am shocked, because the most he can stretch to at home is “I wouldn’t worry about it”… So, none of it makes any sense.

yourmaw · 07/02/2025 22:08

Notaflippinclue · 07/02/2025 05:32

What happened a hundred years ago if you had chronic anxiety

probably similar to now-if you mean symptoms. treatment = sedatives,alchohol and opiates and/OR asylum. all way to post ww1 electrotherapy was all the rage.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 07/02/2025 22:18

IAKnowyou · 06/02/2025 21:15

Well I guess it IS just me 😳

No it’s not!

IAKnowyou · 07/02/2025 22:37

@Serencwtch what you've described is no problem though.
You've explained that when people ask, you usually just say "it's just mental health" as a lighthearted way to move on from having to go into detail. You're aware it's not correct terminology, and you say that to swiftly finish the conversation right ?
I'm talking about people who say they "have mental health" and think it makes sense !

OP posts:
IAKnowyou · 07/02/2025 22:37

XenoBitch · 07/02/2025 20:55

I think it is just pedantic to get annoyed at this, tbh. When people go on about their mental health, you know exactly what they mean.
And it seems a little in poor to taste to bring it up on Time to Talk day.

Had no idea it was time to talk day to be honest.

OP posts:
Marriumph · 07/02/2025 22:44

GeneralChaos1 · 06/02/2025 21:29

I completely agree. And I work in mental health.

it is a problem with the way the language is used. We all have mental health. You are struggling with your mental health at the moment. You have mental health difficulties.

I also don’t like when people say to me “I have anxiety”. You don’t HAVE it. You are suffering from it. It is hard, without a doubt. But it is not a permanent diagnosis like autism or adhd. You can overcome anxiety. Yes, some people are more susceptible to it than others and have to work much harder at managing it, but it is not a permanent state.

I don't know, some people do have diagnosed anxiety disorders. They're prone to moderate to severe anxiety issues in their daily lives and it affects their life all the time. It can be managed sometimes but it never goes away. For most people like this, it's (almost) impossible to overcome this permanent state of being. It would take a miracle/magic to erase.

ToWhitToWhoo · 07/02/2025 22:55

GeneralChaos1 · 06/02/2025 21:29

I completely agree. And I work in mental health.

it is a problem with the way the language is used. We all have mental health. You are struggling with your mental health at the moment. You have mental health difficulties.

I also don’t like when people say to me “I have anxiety”. You don’t HAVE it. You are suffering from it. It is hard, without a doubt. But it is not a permanent diagnosis like autism or adhd. You can overcome anxiety. Yes, some people are more susceptible to it than others and have to work much harder at managing it, but it is not a permanent state.

Appendicitis or pneumonia or a broken leg is also (one hopes) not a permanent state, but one that requires treatment to save life and lead to ultimate recovery. Yet you still say 'I have pneumonia'; 'I have a broken leg'; etc.

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 07/02/2025 23:06

BabyCatMama · 06/02/2025 22:52

I feel like they are ashamed to say they have mental illness. I see it mainly on TikTok; most people streaming on TikTok have an IQ at least 15 points below average

There's definitely been a move away from saying mental illness to talking about mental health generally as an anti stigma thing as we all have mental health, whether it's good or bad, and for those with poor mental health phrasing it as that or something like mental health issues.

LSTMS30555 · 07/02/2025 23:09

@GeneralChaos1 what do you mean when you say you work in mental health? I hope it's not with the sufferers.
And yes I do have anxiety GAD which I've had for decades and without my medication (sertraline) I'm completely doomed!

Some of the pp's on here have clearly never suffered from poor mental health; let's hope you never have to.