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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be furious at door to door salesman

43 replies

SadlySally · 06/02/2025 15:32

Myself and my DP have been dealing with this BRSK internet salesman coming to the door and not leaving us alone for a few weeks now. On his first visit he said we would be left without phone or internet if we didn’t act and switch providers immediately.

My DP corrected this, said he works within this industry and we are at no risk, are happy with our internet set up, and that was all. He was quite pushy and argumentative but he eventually left after giving DP a flier with his name and phone number on to be contacted if we changed our minds.

Since then he has been back at our door (that we’ve answered) five times. The same man. Every time he’s tried to argue and not taken no for an answer. The last three times he has been here it has been just me here alone.

Now, I don’t mind saying, I’m really quite an anxious mess anyway, particularly around pushy men. So I answered today, saw it was him and said “I’m sorry but no, I am in the middle of cooking I don’t have time for this and we don’t need anything. You’ve been told.”

He immediately gets aggressive with me and says “Well you’re wrong, speak to your provider and they will tell you. Your internet is going to be cut off and you’ll have no phone line!” So I said again; “we had full fibre installed a few months ago and we do not have or use any landline. We are at no risk.”

He got very sarcy and said “Well then Madam, seen as you know SO MUCH more about this than me, you’ll understand that the copper wire that runs the line into your house is going to be switched off” I cut him off and said I DO understand. The switch off is happening in two years time and does not effect fibre!! He was about to start again so I just closed the door. I really was cooking and couldn’t keep stand there either way, and from experience he would have kept going.

He stood on the other side of my door and started shouting angrily “Contact your provider then, go on!” To which I shouted back “I already have, don’t be so rude !”

I was completely shaken. I took the number on the flier he left before and sent a long text saying his aggressive, derogatory attitude and intimidation was unacceptable and no way to do sales. If he came back again I’d consider it harassment. I’m not usually one to write complaints or “speak to the manager” but my DP is actually abroad right now for work and I just find it all so totally unacceptable. Especially when he is blatantly wrong himself! He will be saying this stuff to others too, likely to beef his own sales while people who aren’t informed are scared into switching provider regardless of their contracts or whatever else. All because they’re told their phone lines are being cut off any day now!!
After I closed the door and he shouted through I was genuinely really rattled and shaken up. I know though that I can be very sensitive to male aggression in any forms.

AIBU sending a complaint email to the company ? I’m anxious about answering the door and it being him again!!

OP posts:
Fraaances · 06/02/2025 15:34

Contact the company that he works for. Let them know he is harassing people in your area and feeding them misleading information in an aggressive and intimidating manner. Let them know that you intend to contact the police if he visits again.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 06/02/2025 15:34

You should be going to the police!

Get yourself a ring doorbell and see his visits grind to a halt. And if he does try it again, you'll have evidence.

Amazon do next day delivery, if you're in a position to buy one today. They're super easy to fix to the door and set up and run on a rechargeable battery ❤️

DemonicCaveMaggot · 06/02/2025 15:35

Write a complaint.

Can you see who is on the other side of the door before you open it? If I see a door to door saleman, JW evangelist or similar who I don't want to open it to I just don't. I don't care if they see me through a window either, I just wave at them and walk to a room at the back of the house. If they yell 'I can see you' or similar through the letterbox just yell 'And I can see you which is why I'm not opening the door'.

I got a whole lot stricter about who I open the door to after a neighbour had a knife pulled on her by a man selling magazine subscriptions (in the US not the UK). Fortunately her 6' 4" husband, a major in the US army, was home at the time and when he shot down the stairs in his uniform the man ran out of the house.

SadlySally · 06/02/2025 15:37

DemonicCaveMaggot · 06/02/2025 15:35

Write a complaint.

Can you see who is on the other side of the door before you open it? If I see a door to door saleman, JW evangelist or similar who I don't want to open it to I just don't. I don't care if they see me through a window either, I just wave at them and walk to a room at the back of the house. If they yell 'I can see you' or similar through the letterbox just yell 'And I can see you which is why I'm not opening the door'.

I got a whole lot stricter about who I open the door to after a neighbour had a knife pulled on her by a man selling magazine subscriptions (in the US not the UK). Fortunately her 6' 4" husband, a major in the US army, was home at the time and when he shot down the stairs in his uniform the man ran out of the house.

Edited

I cannot! I only just moved into this house late last year too. I did have a sticker on the door saying no salesmen etc. but it fell off in the rain! I actually ordered a new and better one when he was here the other day but it hasn’t arrived yet. Hopefully it deters them when it does!

OP posts:
KhakiShaker · 06/02/2025 15:38

Fraaances · 06/02/2025 15:34

Contact the company that he works for. Let them know he is harassing people in your area and feeding them misleading information in an aggressive and intimidating manner. Let them know that you intend to contact the police if he visits again.

This with bells on.

why are you even hesitating making a complaint? You’ve been harassed 5 times now! After the second occurrence I’d have been making a complaint.

GCAcademic · 06/02/2025 15:39

This shouldn't even be a question. Of course you complain to a company when a member of their staff is harassing you and acting in an agressive manner.

SadlySally · 06/02/2025 15:39

Thank you so much, you’re all making me feel a lot more at ease that I’m not just over reacting or being over sensitive! I’m typing a complaint email now, I hope it reaches the right people. Going to look into a ring cam too

OP posts:
VegLedge · 06/02/2025 15:39

He sounds like a con artist, like the phone calls I get to say my phone will be disconnected if I don’t do XXXX, they always get aggressive too, but I just hang up.
I think it might be worth logging it with the police because it’s harrassment. I also would get some sort of camera, even if it’s a cheap one that you can sit on your window inside.

KhakiShaker · 06/02/2025 15:40

SadlySally · 06/02/2025 15:37

I cannot! I only just moved into this house late last year too. I did have a sticker on the door saying no salesmen etc. but it fell off in the rain! I actually ordered a new and better one when he was here the other day but it hasn’t arrived yet. Hopefully it deters them when it does!

A sticker? Are you serious? You think this guy will take notice of a sticker?!

DemonicCaveMaggot · 06/02/2025 15:41

If they are really determined, like this guy, a sticker is not going to stop them. You really need a Ring doorbell with a camera or a camera looking through a window to the front door so you can see who is outside. I don't mind opening the door to strangers when I am expecting a delivery and they are in uniform or have a delivery van outside, it's the postman in uniform, or someone with visible British Gas, or Wessex Water identification but just opening to randoms if you are on your own in the house isn't always the safest thing and also exposes you to behaviour like this.

Quinlan · 06/02/2025 15:43

KhakiShaker · 06/02/2025 15:40

A sticker? Are you serious? You think this guy will take notice of a sticker?!

Ignoring it is illegal. If you put up a sign saying that you do not give permission for Col callers and they knock anyway, then you can take legal action.

Secondguess · 06/02/2025 15:44

That sounds horrible, you handled it well

In my area, there's a local community police team put posts on social media reminding people to let them know if this sort of thing happens-- there were reminders recently after the storms about being wary of any "roofers" going door to door to drum up work.

SadlySally · 06/02/2025 15:45

KhakiShaker · 06/02/2025 15:40

A sticker? Are you serious? You think this guy will take notice of a sticker?!

Fair. I just mean that I didn’t get any cold callers knocking when I had one up before and it has been on my mind to replace it.

I thought before it was very irritating and pushy but I didn’t think I felt intimidated until today. I was really rattled actually, but I know I can get panic attacks for little things so perspective is everything. This only happened within the hour so I think I’m still shocked.

OP posts:
Ilovemyshed · 06/02/2025 15:46

I wouldn't engage in any conversation. Simply say, I do not respond to being harassed and would NEVER buy in these circumstances. If you do not leave immediately I am calling the police and have reported you.

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/02/2025 15:47

Call into your local police station, explain and hand them his card.

Alternatively, tell him to F off.

SerenStarEtoile · 06/02/2025 15:47

If you are in the UK you can also contact your local Trading Standards. If you haven’t already done this, please do because I think you get a reference number which you can transmit onwards to the company, which shows how very seriously you are taking this behaviour.

He may be working for commission, so not an actual “employee” but that doesn’t let them off the hook.

Hope you feel better taking action, and hope it’s resolved without further problems.

recipientofraspberries · 06/02/2025 15:52

I would definitely log it with the police. Then they're aware, and it means if things go further (which hopefully they won't), you won't be starting from scratch with the authorities. It might also help other people who are being harassed by him for the police to be aware.

JC03745 · 06/02/2025 15:53

Have you spoken to your neighbours? They might equally have been harassed.

I would absolutely contact the company and complain.

Saturdaynightlive · 06/02/2025 15:54

Just don't entertain any discussion. Open door,.see, it's him, close door. Complain to his company.

Anotherparkingthread · 06/02/2025 15:59

If he comes back again subtly record it then upload the video naming and shaming the company. Get any of it on ring doorbell?

Livelaughlurgy · 06/02/2025 16:03

I would call the police, my bigger concern would be he's harassing neighbours who aren't as clued in as you guys or are vulnerable.

EllieQ · 06/02/2025 16:06

SerenStarEtoile · 06/02/2025 15:47

If you are in the UK you can also contact your local Trading Standards. If you haven’t already done this, please do because I think you get a reference number which you can transmit onwards to the company, which shows how very seriously you are taking this behaviour.

He may be working for commission, so not an actual “employee” but that doesn’t let them off the hook.

Hope you feel better taking action, and hope it’s resolved without further problems.

Seconding this - contact trading standards at your local council as he is giving out false information about having to change your internet provider. It may also be worth reporting to your local community police officer as well.

Lavender14 · 06/02/2025 16:06

I would 100% be reporting him to the police non emergency line and to his company in writing. If you found this intimidating and inaccurate how do you think an elderly or vulnerable person living alone might experience this?

He needs to be shut down now to reduce the number of people he exploits. I would write down a record of his visits past to now.

Whatisthisbs · 06/02/2025 16:09

Blimey. Don't engage with this man at all, he doesn't need to know the ins and outs of your husband working, nor the fact that youre cookingdinner. YES...complain to the company, not him via text - he won't give a shit. Nor will he give a shit about a sticker in the window. I bet his bosses would love to know how's he trying to get customers

ginasevern · 06/02/2025 16:15

I think you need to get a ring doorbell. I personally don't open the door to people I don't know or am not expecting. Quite frankly there is no reason whatsoever for a stranger to knock at my door. They're either going to be selling something, pushing religion or possibly up to no good. Why take the risk.